Peter Dinklage Rips Disney For ‘Snow White’ Remake: ‘What The F**k Are You Doing?!’

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@EinsteinsHund

I think that’s from the original Grimm’s fairy-tale: Snow White eats the poisoned apple, dies, is put in a coffin of glass by the dwarfs. prince (who never met Snow White before) rides along, sees a beautiful girl in a glass coffin, kisses her and the poisoned apple piece is dislodged, Snow White resurrects and all live happily ever after. Always had a necrophiliac vibe for me.

Not exactly

@Grimm

Now it came to pass that a prince entered these woods and happened onto the dwarfs’ house, where he sought shelter for the night. He saw the coffin on the mountain with beautiful Snow-White in it, and he read what was written on it with golden letters.

Then he said to the dwarfs, “Let me have the coffin. I will give you anything you want for it.”

But the dwarfs answered, “We will not sell it for all the gold in the world.”

Then he said, “Then give it to me, for I cannot live without being able to see Snow-White. I will honor her and respect her as my most cherished one.”

As he thus spoke, the good dwarfs felt pity for him and gave him the coffin. The prince had his servants carry it away on their shoulders. But then it happened that one of them stumbled on some brush, and this dislodged from Snow-White’s throat the piece of poisoned apple that she had bitten off. Not long afterward she opened her eyes, lifted the lid from her coffin, sat up, and was alive again.

“Good heavens, where am I?” she cried out.

The prince said joyfully, “You are with me.” He told her what had happened, and then said, “I love you more than anything else in the world. Come with me to my father’s castle. You shall become my wife.” Snow-White loved him, and she went with him. Their wedding was planned with great splendor and majesty.

Emphasis added. The prince, according to Grimmbros, acted entirely above-board, as long as negotiating to buy the corpse of a pretty lady is copacetic.

[DrDeth]

@puzzlegal

I haven’t read the story in ages, but my recollection is that the prince saw a beautiful woman and was moved to kiss her, and then was surprised that she came back to life. So we are still pretty far into “eww” territory.

The Princes motivations are not really gone into much as the film doesn’t even name the guy. Of course it is a trope that a kiss from a prince or Princess can undo enchantment, note all those frogs with lipstick smears. The Prince is not even a real person, just a plot mechanism. I expect if a similar scene is done, someone will note that the enchantment can only be undone by a kiss or something.

@muldoonthief

Now in Sleeping Beauty, Prince Phillip and Aurora had already spent an afternoon together and had another date planned for that evening before the whole spinning wheel/dragon unpleasantness occurred. And Phillip had been told by multiple sources, including the originators of the curse, that the only thing that would wake Aurora was true love’s kiss. So I certainly think he was in the clear.

They were also betrothed, which was a pretty serious contract back in the day.

[EinsteinsHund]

@Left_Hand_of_Dorkness

Emphasis added. The prince, according to Grimmbros, acted entirely above-board, as long as negotiating to buy the corpse of a pretty lady is copacetic.

Taking along a corpse because you can’t live without it counts for being necrophiliac in my book. But thanks for the correction. Which begs the question: did the kiss originate from the Disney version? Did they adopt it from Sleeping Beauty?

[DPRK]

@EinsteinsHund

I think that’s from the original Grimm’s fairy-tale: Snow White eats the poisoned apple, dies, is put in a coffin of glass by the dwarfs. prince (who never met Snow White before) rides along, sees a beautiful girl in a glass coffin, kisses her and the poisoned apple piece is dislodged, Snow White resurrects and all live happily ever after. Always had a necrophiliac vibe for me.

Maybe you can interpret the original Grimm’s version (copied from Wikisource):

Die sieben Zwerge aber machen einen silbernen Sarg, legen das Sneewittchen hinein und setzen es auf einen Baum vor ihrer Höhle. Ein Prinz kommt vorbei und bittet die Zwerge, ihm den Sarg zu geben, nimmt ihn mit und daheim läßt er es auf ein Bett legen und putzen, als wär es lebendig, und liebt es über alle Maßen, ein Diener muß ihm auch beständig aufwarten. Der wird einmal bös darüber: „da soll man dem todten Mädchen thun, als wenn es lebte!“ giebt ihn einen Schlag in den Rücken, da fährt der Apfelbissen aus dem Mund, und Sneewittchen ist wieder lebendig.

It’s kind of weird, but that is the hallmark of a good fairy tale

[EinsteinsHund]

@DPRK

Maybe you can interpret the original Grimm’s version (copied from Wikisource):

Die sieben Zwerge aber machen einen silbernen Sarg, legen das Sneewittchen hinein und setzen es auf einen Baum vor ihrer Höhle. Ein Prinz kommt vorbei und bittet die Zwerge, ihm den Sarg zu geben, nimmt ihn mit und daheim läßt er es auf ein Bett legen und putzen, als wär es lebendig, und liebt es über alle Maßen, ein Diener muß ihm auch beständig aufwarten. Der wird einmal bös darüber: „da soll man dem todten Mädchen thun, als wenn es lebte!“ giebt ihn einen Schlag in den Rücken, da fährt der Apfelbissen aus dem Mund, und Sneewittchen ist wieder lebendig.

It’s kind of weird, but that is the hallmark of a good fairy tale

That’s really weird, and definitely not the Grimm’s version, but an earlier source. Do you have more info or a link about it? (not shouting “cite?”, it’s just my personal interest for fairy-tales).

Anyway, this is even creepier. I’ll try a translation, which will be hard because the source is in a quaint and dated German.

So the dwarfs make a silver coffin, lay Snow White inside and put it on a tree in front of their cave. A prince comes along and asks the dwarfs to give him the coffin, takes her along with him and at home has her put on a bed and clean her as if she was alive, and loved her beyond measure, and also a servant had to attend her all the time, who once gets angry and thinks “You should treat the dead girl once like she was alive”, gives her a blow in the back, and the apple bite shoots out of her mouth, and Snow White is alive again.

[Gyrate]

@EinsteinsHund

Taking along a corpse because you can’t live without it counts for being necrophiliac in my book.

Either that, or he wanted to watch a young woman’s corpse slowly decompose in its glass coffin, which - yuck.

[DPRK]

It’s in some kind of appendix; see here:
https://de.wikisource.org/wiki/Sneewittchen_(Schneeweißchen)_(1812)
Maybe it’s an alternative, rather than an earlier, version? Good question. Note there is a more official version above (though it does not correspond exactly to the English version quoted before):

Einmal kam ein junger Prinz zu dem Zwergenhaus und wollte darin übernachten, und wie er in die Stube kam und Sneewittchen in dem Glassarg liegen sah, auf das die sieben Lichtlein so recht ihren Schein warfen, konnt er sich nicht satt an seiner Schönheit sehen, und las die goldene Inschrift und sah, daß es eine Königstochter war. Da bat er die Zwerglein, sie sollten ihm den Sarg mit dem todten Sneewittchen verkaufen, die wollten aber um alles Gold nicht; da bat er sie, sie mögten es ihm schenken, er könne nicht leben ohne es zu sehen, und er wolle es so hoch halten und ehren, wie sein Liebstes auf der Welt. Da waren die Zwerglein mitleidig und gaben ihm den Sarg, der Prinz aber ließ ihn in sein Schloß tragen, und ließ ihn in seine Stube setzen, er selber saß den ganzen Tag dabei, und konnte die Augen nicht abwenden; und wenn er aus mußte gehen und konnte Sneewittchen nicht sehen, ward er traurig, und er konnte auch keinen Bissen essen, wenn der Sarg nicht neben ihm stand. Die Diener aber, die beständig den Sarg herumtragen mußten, waren bös darüber, und einer machte einmal den Sarg auf, hob Sneewittchen in die Höh und sagte: „um so eines todten Mädchens willen, werden wir den ganzen Tag geplagt,“ und gab ihm mit der Hand einen Stumpf in den Rücken. Da fuhr ihm der garstige Apfelgrütz, den es abgebissen hatte, aus dem Hals, und da war Sneewittchen wieder lebendig. Da ging es hin zu dem Prinzen, der wußte gar nicht, was er vor Freuden thun sollte, als sein liebes Sneewittchen lebendig war, und sie setzten sich zusammen an die Tafel und aßen in Freuden.

, also there are remarks about different recensions: Seite:Kinder und Hausmärchen (Grimm) 1812 I 420.jpg – Wikisource

[EinsteinsHund]

Thanks for the links @DPRK , that’s fascinating. I’m a big fan of the Gimms’ “Kinder und Hausmärchen”, and I’m always interested in their sources, which were numerous.

[DocCathode]

@EinsteinsHund

Kinder und Hausmärchen

Remember, no matter how kind you are German children are kinder.

[Yookeroo]

@MaxTheVool

Now, obviously, there’s a fair chance that Dinklage, who is a smart guy who has certainly thought a ton more about this specific issue than any of us, actually would make a cogent and reasonable point in a context other than quick-soundbite-on-comedy-podcast. But so far, I have to say I’m not entirely sure what point he is trying to make.

Right on.

[Dropo]

Perhaps Disney should instead consider remaking the sequel:

The Seven Dwarfs to the Rescue (1951) - IMDb

Taking only the general outline of this film, a whole new plot would keep the dwarves front and center in the story. Having adventures outside their comfort zone provides the perfect opportunity to explore their personalities and psyches so they can come off as, let us say, closer to three-dimensional characters.

It would not be yet another pointless remake of a problematic story, but a belated cash-in sequel about fish out of water coming to terms with themselves and their psyches as they confront a world that has little place for them, all tied to rescuing a person who may (or may not) be worthy of their efforts/noble souls.

[Esprise_Me]

Huh. That’s so crazy it just might work!

[DrDeth]

Do you know how many lawsuits and even wars have been fought over who gets to have some famous guys remains in their cemetery? or some Saint’s bones.

Lenin is still there in the Kremlin, I hear.

[EinsteinsHund]

Well, yeah, but what has Lenin to do with the fairy-tale of Snow White?

[Pavelb1]

{Gnomes approve of this movement}

[MrDibble]

My emphasis:

@EinsteinsHund

put it on a tree in front of their cave.

Ha! Dinklage was right all along!

[Just_Asking_Questions]

@Dropo

Perhaps Disney should instead consider remaking the sequel:

I like that. It’s got this whole Babe Pig In the City meets Crocodile Dundee 2 vibe.

But JB, listen bubbe, I got a better one.

Set in in the 70s. Blanche “Snow” White is the stepdaughter of a rich industrialist (that pollutes and destroys rain forests). When she starts working with environmentalists to stop the company from destroying a cute squirrel habitat, her stepfather order his henchman to kill her and dump her body.

But he doesn’t kill her, and she ends up getting the only work she can - a dispatcher for a small trucking company. And here’s the good part, JB: the company only hires women drivers! Get it - Snow White and the Seven Lady truckers! It’ll be a big hit! Girl power! And the seven lady truckers work together to defeat the evil industrialist and restore the squirrels to their cute little homes! What do you mean, Dwarfs? OK we’ll get short women to play the drivers. No one over 5’2". Easy peasy. But we can make them all martial arts masters! Each one has a different style. Charlie’s Angels’ got nothing on the lady truckers! We’re 2 1/3 times better! (JB: No math! They told me there would be no math.)

And merchandising! We get companies to pony up and put their logos on the trucks - Coke, Hostess, Quaker Oats, Amazon* - whoever. And we can sell trucks, and even plastic model kits. Barbies, Hot Wheels, Slot cars, we can even get the boys into it. We get Chevy or Ford or Toyota to make a special edition Snow White electric car. Each one comes with a free BluRay of the film! It’ll make billions. BILLIONS JB.

*no one will notice and only the geeks will care.

[DrDeth]

I found an old fave On Demand- Time Bandits. I wonder what he’d do if they announced they were remaking that?

[MrDibble]

You mean, the film that has a bunch of small person actors but they’re not supposed to be mythological dwarfs, aren’t characterized as cartoonish figures (humourous, but that’s not the same thing), and generally could be replaced by ordinary-height actors and it wouldn’t matter to the plot at all? If I recall correctly, the only real issue made of height in the movie at all is around non-dwarf Napoleon.

[nightshadea]

you know having read fictional and non-fictional books about circuses and traveling shows and the like the only stereotype I’ve seen about performing dwarfs are they tended to snotty little sobs with chips on their shoulders