Phila.-Area Dopers: ANY Job Prospects Out There?

I’ve been wanting to move back home for a few years now—mostly to look after my Mom; also because I miss it, and 20-some years of New York are enough. But I can’t afford to just quit my job (though after this week, they just may fire me!).

I have all these Phila. job sites bookmarked, but have not gotten so much as a Hello back from them; and when I did a search on employment agencies, HUNDREDS of them came up. . . I’ve already contacted all the local papers and magazines, as well as the local colleges. Nuthin’. Any contacts? Ideas? Know anyone in a good employment agency; anyone in the publishing or museum fields? Flagpole-sitting? Squirrel-training? Anything?

. . . Hell, I’d even take a saleslady job, at some antiques-type place . . . Too old to be a hooker, but I’d make a good Madam . . .

You doin’ business, luv ? 'Ow much, luv ?

Eve, I used to be an editorial assistant at Riverside Publishing, which publishes educational testing materials. The political correctness of the job could possibly make you leap from high bridges, but the money was good and I liked the people I worked with. You may want to look into something like that. I wonder if a Yahoo Yellow Pages search would turn up anything???

Ha! I did a Yahoo Yellow Pages search for Philadelphia and Publishing, and came up with 11 book publishers, 26 magazine publishers, and 100 newspaper publishers. It might be worth a closer look!

Hmmm, thanks, Kalhoun, I shall do so . . .

Not a bad thing to know. Sooner or later I’ll need to check around that area for the same kind of work.

Kinda.

Commerce Bank is building a new branch near where I live, and I presume in several other Philly suburbs. So I know they’re hiring.

Hooker, or Madam?

A lot of the publishing going on here is medical. A lot of people who have left my company have gone to Springhouse (Montgomery County), which apparently pays fairly well.

Yeah, I noticed a lot of Christian and foreign-language publishers, too . . . I’ve already approached Philadelphia magazine and the major (and minor!) newspapers, as well as all the colleges and museums . . .

It’s enough to get a girl discouraged . . .

Looking for a job during these hard times is very discouraging. Another option would be to temp. I’ve been doing it for a while. The money is pretty good to great (although insurance is expensive if you have to buy it through them). Plus, you get to try on companies. Some of them are so horrible, but others are really great (like where I am now). Anyway, it’s money until something more permanent comes along.

But what would I do at a bank?

As far as temping, I could make money writing and editing freelance magazine articles . . . But at my advanced age, I’d like an actual job, with actual benefits (“fussy, fussy, fussy!”).

Personally, I’ve had a hard time finding a job here (I’ve been looking since the first of the year, sending off a resume every couple of days), but I’m also looking for a secretarial job, and I’m refusing to do telemarketing work. Not exactly the same thing you’re looking for. I’ll keep a look out for you, though, when I’m doing my own looking around the area.

If you do find something over here, does that mean we’ll have the honor of having you as a Philly Doper? And I’ll have the honor of living in the same city as you twice?

swoon

Helen Hokinson New Yorker drawing, circa 1930; two matrons discussing a little boy in a Fauntleroy suit:

“His father wants him to be a lawyer, but I want him to go into a bank. It’s always so nice and cool in a bank.”

Thanks, Ike, but I am already a Helen Hokinson drawing, and it does not pay a living wage.

Thanks for real, TruePisces—find me a job and I’ll host the next Philly Dopefest!

Ike left out that the trio are sitting under an umbrella at a beach-side resort, with the ladies fanning themselves and their corpulent bodies glistening withe perspiration.

I’ve got “50 Years of New Yorker Cartoons” sitting on my coffee table at home - it is really worth the effort to find at a used book store.

starts scrambling desperately to find Eve a job

Actually, I saw something when I was up at 4am looking. Let me find it and point it in your direction.

Well, I just applied for a job at The Running Press . . .