Is it ok now to take pictures at funerals? Wasn’t it once a faux pas? When did it become ok.
I don’t recall it really being a faux pas. I’m sorry I can’t reference anything at the moment (I’m at work) but my grandparents who grew up in rural Kentucky said people often had pictures taken of their dead. My family always did it (I’m a yankee) but I rarely saw it otherwise. I’ve seen it in African-American funerals however. Now you’ve piqued my curiosity on the subject. I wonder if it’s cultural or regional, etc.
My initial reaction to this question was one of shock. I always associated taking photos (at events) with happiness. So taking them at funerals would seem distasteful and offensive (especially if flashes are used)
Having said that, I’ve never been to a Funeral. And I hope to never have to go to one (but I suppose it’s inevitable.)
Even my own. I plan to stay alive forever.
My grandmother had this creepy ass album of nothing but funeral pictures. Don’t know what the facination was but it creeps me out.
I seem to recall that my grandparents have a photo of their daughter in her casket, in the living room . She died in the early 40s when she was (maybe) 5 or 6. I think the reason for it was that my grandfather was off to war at the time and wouldn’t have been back for the funeral so my grandmother had someone take a picture. After fighting in the Battle of the Bulge, I’m sure he really was looking forward to seeing a photo of his daughter in a coffin, but apparently that’s the way it was then.
I think it would be highly unusual to bring a camera to a viewing nowadays. You and I would probably have harsh words at least, outside, if I saw you snapping pictures at a viewing for one of my relatives.
As long as you’re not putting rabbit ears on the corpse, I don’t see the big deal.
I think it is the spookiest, tackiest things in existence. I have no idea why someone would want to do this. The only funeral photo that I have seen was from one of my African-American classmates. He had a picture with his dead father in the casket and he passed it around the room. I thought it was awful. Why didn’t he show us a picture smiling doing something he enjoyed?
Memorial photographs of the dead were a tradition from the mid-19th century all the way though, apparently, from what Casey1505 says, through the '40s. But today, whipping out a Kodak and going “say cheese!” I think, would be considered de trop.
Unless you can get the corpse to sit up and say, “Gotcha ya!”
Actually, aversion to it is a recent phenomenon. In the past, since the advent of photography, post-mortem photos were quite common.
Damn, Eve, simul-post!
Do they still take photographs of important officials (royalty, famous politicians and so-forth) lying in state?
At my mom’s viewing last year, I got so freaked out about it being the last time that I would ever see her, I took two pictures (my neighbor had her camera in the car just as a coincedence.) I got the pictures back, took one look at them, and put them back in the envelope. It was just creepy and horrible. I’ve never looked at them since. I’ve got more than enough pictures of her alive and happy.
I think it was just the sadness and scariness of feeling like I would never see her again that prompted that, so I think I can identify with people in the old days who took them.
I attended the funeral of my SO’s Dad. His best friend (The Dead Dad’s) showed up – with a camera - to take pictures of the family “for (the Widow)”.
I was totally gobsmakced, my reaction was like Lobsang’s would have been. Completely horrified, appalled and shocked. The SO’s family was totally numb and didn’t say a word – but this dork , maybe about 75, was clicking away almost constantly. These were shots like: the family getting into the Limo, the Piper, the Widow leaving the gravesite etc. NOT Dead Dad in his coffin.
I didn’t have the nerve to tell him to knock it off – the family was too numb to respond – he was the FRIEND – I was my SO’s SO - if no one complained I didn’t see it as my place to create a scene or tell him to calm the hell down. I felt like a social coward the whole time though. It just wasn’t my tradition, in fact it was down right disturbing to me. Later I found it really didn’t register with the family at all -so I let myself off that hook. The Widow didn’t do much with the pictures - just threw them in a jumbled disorganized “picture drawer” that she kept.
Hypocrisy at its finest: There was a pretty neat pic of me and the SO by the Limo – I have up in my office – i just “forget” where we were when it was taken
Not quite the same situation, but I put a camera in my purse when we attended the memorial service of my uncle (aunt’s husband; they married very late in life) because it was going to be a rare instance of all of my father’s siblings being present together. I didn’t mention the camera at all, but when one of them mentioned the idea of a group photo, I was prepared. It was a few weeks after he had died (in a car accident) and my aunt was in a remarkably steady state, as were his family from a previous marriage. (Great service, we found out lots of wonderfuls things about him.)
(Because of the “everyone all together” thing, I had also finally gotten off my duff and dealt with some of Grandma and Grandpa’s memorabilia (pictures, documents) that had been given to me to sort through for everyone. I have a good digital color copier and made copies for everyone and distributed the originals, all in nice folders. My aunt wrote me after the service and said that she very much enjoyed revisiting those memories with everyone, and thanked me for adding an “upbeat atmosphere” to the day.)
But no, normally I would not consider a funeral a “camera” event.
Hell, we had a whole photo-call on the lawn at my Grandad’s funeral last year. But then, Irish funerals are very different.
In all seriousness, the long-expected event became a big family reunion. The last time we’d had that many relatives together was 1988. And probably it’ll never be possible again. Make the most of it. And yeah, let’s throw in the cliches, it’s what Grandad would have wanted.
Photography at a funeral?
Hell, I don’t even approve of photography at weddings!
I am well aware that people come to funerals who we haven’t seen for years and might not see again for years. There are times and places that it’s fine to get a photo of them – outside the church, at a post-funeral gathering, etc.
But keep the cameras outside of the funeral home and away from the service.
I did take pictures of my grandparents in their coffins, to send to elderly brothers and sisters who could not get there. But I felt weird doing it and made sure it was when the funeral home was closing and nobody was there to see me.
My ex-boyfriend’s mother was Finnish, and I was shocked when her relatives sent photos of a funeral to her including the (closed) casket and flowers and the coffin being lowered, but I soon realised that this was probably somewhat comforting for her as all her family was so far away and she couldn’t attend any family events. When she died, I believe people took photos of her funeral to send back to her family (I don’t really recall well, it was a very distressing day and seven years ago on Sunday).
I carried a camera to the last funeral I attended - my father’s cousin’s funeral - because we see those relatives so infrequently. I would not have taken a photo at the service but thought the opportunity might present itself at the afternoon tea afterwards. It didn’t, and I decided I’d rather make the effort to go visit the family to take photos on a happier occasion than get snaps of them going through one of the worst days of their lives.
My grandmother had a picture of my brother, dead in a crib, obviously made-up to look alive and sleeping, hanging on the wall in my bedroom for my intire childhood. He died of (probably) SIDS, 14 years before I was born. It wasn’t creepy until a friend told me it was. Then it was really creepy.
I don’t know what became of it. I just know its not in my house!
I am so glad the other people have heard of this. I once helped my best friend clean her aunt’s house and we found a photo album of nothing but dead people in caskets. YUCK! :eek: Unless you have a very valid reason to take pictures, cameras have no place at a funeral.
We did photos at the funeral of my stillborn baby. I hadn’t planned to and when a friend who was a professional photographer started doing it, it was weirdly OK.
Before Ambrose died, I think I would have found it all unbelievably tacky and unnecessary but the photos of him really helped me over the whole surreal experience. Without the photos of the service, I’m pretty sure I would have no idea who attended as I was in such shock over the whole thing. Born on Tuesday, buried on Thursday.
I’ve shown those photos to no-one except my mother and sister who were in a different country and couldn’t get there in time. There’s certainly no photos on display and when I die the box with the mementoes and the photos goes in my coffin. While my 2 boys know they had a brother who died, they’ve never seen the photos and probably never will.