Well, it might work for you, but I’m 53 years old and 30 pounds overweight; I’ll stick with the rules. OK, I admit I’m not having any luck, but I don’t think I can blame that on the photos I’m using.
I logged in here hoping to get some humorous takes on today’s dating scene (and be thankful yet again I’m still married.) Meh. The OP was cute, but everybody else seems to just be bitching about people being people. What do you want, “professional daters”? You know what those are called, don’t you? Jeez, wotta’ bunch of whiners!
What gave you the idea it was meant to be humorous? Or not humorous, for that matter?
I was hoping to find actually photographs.
After my divorce, when I had finally decided I was ready to try dating again, I went on something like match and, lo and behold, found my ex’s profile. I read through it, gagging all the way. Decided to check out the pictures. In one of the pictures - and I am dead serious here - he was pushing his nose up with the tip of his finger, you know, making a pig nose. I busted up laughing (at work, unfortunately). I had to minimize it and go grab my friend to come and look. Made our day.
Blocked here at my work, but the Encyclopedia Dramatica has an authoritative article on the Fat Girl Angle Shot (FGAS). Hide that juddering brisket and unsightly goiter while emphasizing ones cleavage, in hopes that the observer will not notice one’s recourse to what is essentially aeral photography.
(I have no personal animosity towards the overweight, but I do take issue with those among them who, in the dating marketplace, believe that their heaviness is OK considering my baldness. I’d prefer to hope against hope for a connection from that minority of women who find bald guys cute and with whom I can share my active pastimes; and leave the big women to either the guys who find them cute, or a reconsideration of their lifestlyles)
And yet here you are complaining rather than being funny. Maybe you should go for a long walk on the beach to unwind. By candlelight, if possible.
So, are you saying that you are pursued by legions of fat chicks from whom you can’t get away? Trust me, dude, you can outrun most of us.
No, I’m not saying that.
Upon second thought, I’m being a horrible bitch today and my previous post was uncalled for. Sorry.
I hope your day is somewhat redeemable in that you and I together thwarted the hopes of (that other message board which may not be mentioned) that this would descend into a flame war 
Simple rule, complex rationale:
Don’t post a picture of yourself an ex took, especially if you mention in the caption to the picture that you look the way you do in it because you didn’t get much sleep the night before.
My experience is 100% (1 for 1) that the next person you meet will (a) think that is the best picture of you on the site and (b) at some point want to know what had kept you from sleeping the night before it was taken.
Awkward
What if what interested them in the first place was you looking so good in that particular picture? I think awkwardness would be a fair trade.
Can we expand this to general rules?
- Use good grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Seriously. At least in your profile and as much as possible in your emails. It makes it look like you didn’t type it out in a spurt and actually thought about it.
General photo rule? Make sure it’s something that actually shows YOU and represents how you are currently. Personally, I don’t find motorcycles or pets in the photo to be turn off because you get a hint of who they are.
I update my photos every six months or so as to not misrepresent myself. And the shirt always stays on but my realistic body shots show my belly no matter how hard I’m sucking it in.
Seriously this is the thing I hate most about dating sites. I’m not just picking on the women either. For a good chuckle I’ll look at some of the men profiles as well.
Just present who you are honestly. If you are a jeans wearing type of girl, cool. Show that side of you. If you think wearing sweats to a first date is a good idea, let me know that as well…yes, this really happened.
One more. The down angle cleavage shot in front of your computer. It isn’t alluring, it screams desperation.
I happened to peruse some Facebook profiles via the “Are You Interested?” application, and thought of this new rule -
Do not post ‘arty’ pictures of yourself, no glitzy Photoshop layering or filtering. Just post a realisitic picture of yourself.
I’ve never used online dating. I’ve never been on one of those sites, but it seems the same to me. I mean, I can understand the “no group shots” and “make it big enough for me to see” but some of these are silly (no peace signs?).
Perhaps this should be its own thread, but maybe someone could help me with my ignorance on this one. I don’t get why anyone would do this, guy or girl. You see enough of these angles pictures (heavy on the cleavage) everywhere, and it always makes me wonder.
When you meet the person, they’re going to notice if you’re considerably heavier than your picture makes you appear. Wouldn’t you want someone to see you accurately so there are no uncomfortable moments on your first date?
Anyone ever meet someone who has done this? Done it themselves? Have a friend? A theory?
Half beard pics are not going to impress more than an infinitesimal fraction of the population.
Silly?! Look at this and tell me the rule is silly.
Hmmm… I’m not sure that’s intended to be a peace sign. But if that is the case, it comes under the rule jackdavinci suggested.
Ok, now I’ve got a mental picture of a guy wandering a beach in a tux holding a candelabra. It’s really rather weird.