“The longer you talk to me, the longer it will take me to fix it.”
“I’m here because you broke something.”
“Tell me how important your stuff is; it will make it easier to repair.”
“Have you tried turning it off and on?”
“I have no idea what bizarre combination buttons you pushed before I got here.”
“404 IT tech not found.”
THIS is the “any key” (optional arrow pointing down)
Do you really want to be impatient when I know your passwords?
RTFM. (Maybe that’s more for tech writers, but it’s still funny.)
“Sorry it took so long.”
“I apologise for my brusque telephone manner.”
“Yeah…uh, I’m afraid I may be a little out of my depth.”
PEBKACa
“Just tell me the problem. I don’t need your whole life story.”
“No, you did NOT do nothing. What did you do, and how many times have I been here before and said to not do that?”
Jesus saves.
Why the hell didn’t you?
“I’m from IT and I’m here to help you”.
I actually said this a couple of weeks ago. And no, I could not keep a straight face.
Two people have access to your home directory: you, and me. I’m pretty sure I didn’t delete your files.
I’ve got one from the makers of a log analysis tool:
Finding your faults, just like Mom
One I’d like:
I can see the syslog. Stop lying about what you’re trying to do.
When it all goes pear-shaped, just remember:
There’s no place like ::1, or if you haven’t updated to IPV6 yet, There’s no place like 127.0.0.1
“I’ll be right back.”
“I can remember my passwords. Why can’t you remember yours?”
Error code
ID 10 T
My S.O. made me a shirt that said “IWTFM”. He’s an engineer and feels there is no need for him to RTFM, right up until he FUs. :rolleyes:
Both Tech Writers and Help Desk folk love RTFM.
An oldie:
“PICNIC: Problem In Chair, Not In Computer”
My own:
“It says it doesn’t work? Then neither do you. Go home and tell your wife.”
“I don’t care if you’re going to throw it out the window. It’s leased, and I didn’t pay.”
“If you can read this shirt, you f*cked something up and expect me to fix it.”
“I don’t know what Scroll Lock means either.”