So, I stole one. You caught me. 
“Changing 1 to 4 in the little box $5
Knowing what regedit is, not being scared to use it, and which line in 150,000 registry settings to change: $64”
“Antivirus programs are like bulletproof vests
they are good to have if you get hit
but dont guarentee you wont get hurt”
“Please tell me your life story…I bill by the hour”
“It’s not a bug, it’s a feature!”
undocumented feature
unintentional feature
"Of course you didn’t do anything to the computer. Now, tell me what you did.
‘Broken’ is not a detailed description of the problem.*
Slee
*I say this a lot
There’s always the classic:
C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN
“Got a ticket?” (alt: “You need to open a ticket.”)
I had a friend make me a t-shirt that says “The world would be a better place if everyone did things my way”
Linux OS has some lingo that would make decent shirts…
FSTAB
FCSK
BASH
to name a few
Is it plugged in?
Did you try reversing the polarity?
I wore my “Allow me to drop everything and work on YOUR problem” shirt to work one day.
“No. I won’t come to your house and fix your computer.”
“I’d be happy to. Let me quote you my hourly and travel rates. Or…did you think we were friends?”
A computer doesn’t do what you want it to do. A computer does what you tell it to do.
The other day I saw somebody wearing a t-shirt that said Helvetica, but in Comic Sans font.
I read your e-mail.
Pointing out to you that your monitor is simply unplugged: PRICELESS!!!