TLDR, so I don’t know if these have been flamed yet:
Reach out: how about ‘phone’ or ‘call’ or ‘contact’: I always have a mental picture of zombies staggering around trying to grab people. Come to think of it, I like that idea.
Easy-peasy makes me stabby-wabby.
Oh, yeah, ASAP: Years ago I had to break my department folks of using that in letters to our contractors. ASAP to a contractor means “whenever I can get around to it”. Specific dates, people!
One I was thinking of today:
“I’m not sure” when you really mean “I don’t know”. Like, “I’m not sure where the best spot for urination on the electric fence is”. Trying to make it sound like, “I have some idea, but I want you to confirm it for me” when really you don’t have the faintest idea.
I had a professor who used “as such” so often that I started counting. As I recall, I got 36 in a 50 minute lecture.
Similarly, “as far as I know” ought to mean something like “I know this was true, but it’s possible things have changed”, and not “I don’t actually have a clue, but here’s what I think”.
As for “as such” (post just below yours), that happens to be my go-to alternative to per se, but I’ve never used the phrase 36 times in an hour, as far as I know.
I saw what you did here, as such.
I would think that that would be a matter of what you want to accomplish. Is your goal to experience pain, to short the damn thing out, to get a delightful tingle, to start a fire or to prove that those guys who say not to urinate on the electric fence are fibbing? This is an involved question.
A handful of native Mainers sometimes refer to that big store in Freeport that sells popular duck boots as “Bean’s.” Around here, pretty much everyone refers to the big department store as “Belk’s”; I always thought this was a convenient contraction of the store’s older names, Hudson Belk or Belk Leggett.
Back to irritating phrases…“reach out,” as in “reach out to the vendor to see if they have any additional literature for that part,” is grating. “Thought processes” is pretty awful too, mainly because it seems like every time it’s directed at me – “What were your thought processes when you designed this” – it comes across as “what the hell were you thinking?” One that I’ve come close to asking coworkers to stop using is “pick your brain.” It’s nauseating.
One that I see and hear occasionally, usually around the time of big sporting events like the Superbowl or the World Series: “Sportsball,” said in a sneering tone to indicate that the speaker doesn’t pay attention to sports, doesn’t bother to differentiate between various types of sports, and is aggressively proud of that fact.
I’m not even particularly a sports fan, but I still cringe when I hear people say, “Oh, that’s right, there’s a big sportsball thing today, isn’t there?” It’s not nearly as clever as you think it is, and it makes you sound like a jackass.
Things like major championships or playoffs (like the NCAA “March Madness” tournament) are cultural touchstones. Being aware of them and dismissing them as “sportsball” is just deliberately being an asshole with the intention of indirectly shitting on something someone else enjoys.
If I ever heard that, it would instantly cement my opinion of the speaker as an asshole.
I do give my wife a pass on that. If (I mean when) I’m being too annoying, she’ll say “Isn’t there that sportsball thing at the local pub?” “Oh, the thing where my guys are trying to get the sportsball past those other guys?” “Yeah, and you were saying you had to see it, and it’s just about to start… NOW?”
So sportsball been beddy beddy good to me…
On Mythbusters they did a segment about peeing on an electric fence, and “busted” the myth that you would get shocked from it; because they took high-speed camera footage of Adam’s urine stream, slowed it down, and showed the stream was non-continuous. Thus no complete circuit. But I’ve heard otherwise anecdotally so often that I wonder if Adam was just having prostrate issues at the time.
Oh, peeing is even more dangerous if you’re prostrate.
During technical discussions I am not a fan of ‘if you think about it’, it’s a bit rude.
That said I have been tempted many times to say it so I have to switch it around to ‘now I think about it more perhaps if we look at the problem this way?’
Arrrrrrr what a difference an extra letter can make.
One should not be lying about prostrate issues.
One does not simply crawl into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just electric fences.
“If I can just play devil’s advocate for a moment”…
You mean, you’re just going to throw up a bunch of imaginary problems without any solutions, on a project you’ve done no work for, in order to make yourself sound clever.
The overuse of the word “like” every fourth or fifth word - “like, no one is ever going to like, take you seriously if you don’t like, stop using that word all the time.”
Affect & effect - “The effect of his assertion was to affect a change.”
Irregardless - I don’t care if all the dictionaries list it, it’s still wrong.
Preventative - You don’t preventate something, you prevent it, the proper word is preventive.
Isn’t a preventative some sort of prophylactic treatment or item? Like saying that hydroxychloroquine is a preventative for malaria?
Marge walked right into that one.