We all know what these sayings are supposed to mean, but their actual meaning leaves much to be desired:
The proof is in the pudding. Oh really? The proof of what? Fermat’s Last Theorem? The Grand Unification Theory? Or maybe the pudding is spiked with vodka? The correct phrase is, “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.” Learn it, use it.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Well what the hell am I supposed to do with my cake? If I wanted a centerpiece for my table, I’d get some flowers or make a sculpture out of AOL CDs or something. Cakes exist to be eaten, so go think up some other metaphor–oh, wait, there is one! “You can’t have it both ways.” Excellent!
I could care less. …but I don’t because it would actually take more effort on my part to care less than I do, effort which I would rather expend by searching for deep meanings hidden in dessert items.
Brownie points. If I collect several brownie points and glue them together, can I make a +9 Brownie Shuriken of Stupid Phrase Slaying?
I’m sure there are more, but I can’t think of them at the moment.