…or maybe were meaningless from the getgo. There are a few phrases I hear that seem like empty noise, and I’m wondering if they have value I’m not getting. “We need closure.” As applied to a lengthy court case or unresolved issues, I get it. Applied to a lingering death? Seems cold and impolite. “I’m tired of all trips to the hospital, such a relief Granny’s in the ground. Now we can get on with our lives.”
“Rape is about power.” Heard from Oprah and other talk show mavens for 20some years. Is this true? Because the rapist could beat someone up without unzipping. Why remove sex from the equation, when the victim may forever associate sex with trauma. What value does that statement have for the victim or members of the justice system?
“It’s meant to be.” Really means “It happened, so deal with it” right? Because I’ve yet to meet anyone who believes we are entirely without free will. For those who say this in response to life events, what do you mean?
“Friend zone.” Some comedians amusing spin on why he can’t get laid has turned into a meme used by every guy who ever crushed on a girl who didn’t return his feelings. The user never says “She wasn’t attracted to me” and moves on; instead he finds ways to blame the woman for his unrequited feelings. Does this phrase serve any real purpose other than finding someone to blame for one’s frustration?
Anyone else hear off-repeated words or phrases that seem to have more noise that content? I don’t want to be that person who chimes in with something useless just because I feel obligated to speak, or that person who repeats pop culture platitudes on auto pilot. Someone will probably suggest at least one or two hackneyed sayings I’m guilty of regurgitating.
My favorite one is “whatever.” As far as I can tell, this means: “Yeah, you got me, I’m wrong, but I’m not going to admit it. Instead I’ll just pretend that it really doesn’t matter and you are a pinhead for even pointing out my mistake.”
As in:
“I loved North By Northwest with Tony Curtiss.”
“Actually, that was Cary Grant.”
“Whatever.”
“It is what it is.” Okay, so what is it? If it was obvious, I wouldn’t of asked. If you don’t know, why not just say so? Or is it that you do know, but want to be evasive or dismissive?
I think you’re missing the meaning. Generally, I take that as meaning: It isn’t going to change. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly. Or, if you’re talking about an event, and someone is complaining about it, well, it is what it is.
“I could care less” would seem to qualify. It was originally “I couldn’t care less”; a means of stating an utter lack of interest in whatever was being discussed. People use the newer version in the same figurative sense, but it has the opposite literal meaning.
I’ve never said either, but cringed through these numerous times. I usually go with “I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry for your loss.” What does one say at a funeral that isn’t a regurgitated empty platitude?
“I’m a Buddhist.” It’s my understanding (I’m sure someone will correct me if I’m wrong) that this statement is immodest and incorrect. The Buddha was a reluctant teacher who never intended to pen a religious or philosophical practice. “I’m a Buddhist” seems to mean “I enjoy sitting quietly and contemplating my navel and I’m not in the military” but only rarely indicates that the speaker follows the teachings of the Buddha.
