Pick a fictional character to get you through the post-apocalyptic world.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Anaamika

The “dad” from Fallout 3. A) Liam Neeson, B) He’s a scientist and can make clean water, and C) Liam Neeson.

But what about your SO? Is he going to be okay with your mooning over somebody who looks exactly like Liam Neeson?

You know, the more I think about it, the more I think the only two reasonable answers are Tarzan (if allowed) and MacGuyver. Hopefully both, but if you have to choose one, the former. If Tarzan can’t make it through, no one else has a prayer.

Plus, animal butlers.

[Anaamika]

I don’t want Tarzan. Yuck. And what is he going to do for me anyway? Out of your choices I’d rather take MacGuyver. Reluctantly.

Upon re-reading the OP, it doesn’t say anything about my SO. I presumed he wouldn’t be around and I’d be alone.

[TruCelt]

Nah. Tarzan if you want to eat raw bushmeat and live in a tree. Jamie Fraser if you want someone to build you a two-story cabin, fight off the mutants, and keep the whiskey barrels full.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Anaamika

I don’t want Tarzan. Yuck. And what is he going to do for me anyway?

He’s freaking Tarzan, for gossake. Elephants, apes, monkeys, and great cats do his bidding. Yeah, there are no lions or gorillas or chimpanzees on this side of the pond, but that just means he’ll have to command the wolves. Which he’ll learn how to do, on account of being Tarzan.

Plus he’s a hyper-genius. He taught himself how to read based on the picture books he found in the cabin his human parents died in, and he became fluent in spoken English, French, Waziri, and a fourth language I always forget as an adult, after a child spent speaking only to mangani. Admittedly he won’t have MacGuyer’s ability to reengineer electronics and such, but he can do amazing things with natural materials. And when the cannibal band comes along to eat you, he’ll have killed them all with their own weapons while MacGuyger is still inventing something.

Upon re-reading the OP, it doesn’t say anything about my SO. I presumed he wouldn’t be around and I’d be alone.

You know I wouldn’t do that to you without a good reason.

[muldoonthief]

Conan the Cimmerian. Book version, not movie version.

[Quartz]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

@Quartz

Hmm… I actually forgot to specify who. Buffy or Ace would do very nicely.

Who is Ace?

Played by Sophie Aldred, she was Dr Who’s assistant when he was played by Sylvester McCoy. She had a penchant for making explosives.

[Larry_Mudd]

Dibs on Druuna.

[Mr.Excellent]

Petra Arkanian, of Orson Scott Card’s “Ender’s Game” and the “Ender’s Shadow” series. Rebuilding civilization is likely to require a fair bit of war, and Arkanian’s a top-notch tactician. There are better ones out there - Bean, for example, and perhaps a few others without Arkanian’s history of nervous breakdown. But I’d not care to fight against her, and by the time of “Shadow of the Giant,” she’s kinda hot.

[Sampiro]

@Quartz

A woman. About 20 years old. Old enough to be sensible enough to keep me from doing something bone-headed. As long as she’s fit and fertile and pleasant company. Got to get a move on rebuilding the human race, you know.

And so it was that Lindsey Lohan was sentenced to becoming the mother of all humanity in a post apocalyptic world by a judge who had an alterniverse portal.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Sampiro

@Quartz

A woman. About 20 years old. Old enough to be sensible enough to keep me from doing something bone-headed. As long as she’s fit and fertile and pleasant company. Got to get a move on rebuilding the human race, you know.

And so it was that Lindsey Lohan was sentenced to becoming the mother of all humanity in a post apocalyptic world by a judge who had an alterniverse portal.

What crime did the Adam in this scenario commit?

[TruCelt]

Tarzan couldn’t order around any old animal, just the ones he had grown up with and knew well. And if he could, that would be a super-power and disqualified anyway.

Ongawa.

[TruCelt]

@Sampiro

@Quartz

A woman. About 20 years old. Old enough to be sensible enough to keep me from doing something bone-headed. As long as she’s fit and fertile and pleasant company. Got to get a move on rebuilding the human race, you know.

And so it was that Lindsey Lohan was sentenced to becoming the mother of all humanity in a post apocalyptic world by a judge who had an alterniverse portal.

Ew! Ew! Ewwwwwwwww! ! !

[Mr.Excellent]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

@Sampiro

And so it was that Lindsey Lohan was sentenced to becoming the mother of all humanity in a post apocalyptic world by a judge who had an alterniverse portal.

What crime did the Adam in this scenario commit?

To heck with the Adam - what crime had humanity committed to warrant such a fate?

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@TruCelt

Tarzan couldn’t order around any old animal, just the ones he had grown up with and knew well. And if he could, that would be a super-power and disqualified anyway.

Ongawa.

I said he was iffy, didn’t I?

Tarzan was able to command (or at least quickly make friends with) Asian tigers, Indian elephants, and Sumatran monkeys, so I take it that he had some mojo that applied to pretty much all monkeys, non-Homo sapiens apes, and most big cats. I don’t recall which book it was, but I seem to recall him saying that he believed, except for Man, all animals that could use language at all understood mangani. I would not argue with him unless Chuck Norris happened to be standing beside me and was willing to defend me.

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Mr.Excellent

@Skald_the_Rhymer

What crime did the Adam in this scenario commit?

To heck with the Adam - what crime had humanity committed to warrant such a fate?

I edited out that part of the wisecrack, as humanity, not existing yet, clearly has committed no crime. The fault must lie in proto-Adam.

Apropos of nothing, is Lindsey Lohan still gay? (Do I have the right girl? The one who French-kissed her brother and dated a model.)

[limegreen]

Well, since TruCelt’s stolen the perfect answer (Jamie Fraser), I guess I’ll have to go with the Bearkiller guy (Mike Havel – who’s dead, but I suppose for this could be resurrected, and de-aged back to the incident).

[drastic_quench]

I’ll have to second Robert E. Howard’s Conan.

“Hither came Conan the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth.”

So I’ve got saftey, food, and ale. Plus the guys gets so many babes, he’d be the ultimate wingman.

[Chronos]

That’s why I pointed out he [Rincewind] converts to other realities. Remember when he was on the airplane and became a nuclear physicist?

I don’t recall that one… Is that from one of the more recent books? I’m only as far as The Wee Free Men.

[Malacandra]

@Chronos

That’s why I pointed out he [Rincewind] converts to other realities. Remember when he was on the airplane and became a nuclear physicist?

I don’t recall that one… Is that from one of the more recent books? I’m only as far as The Wee Free Men.

No, that was from the very first book - The Colour of Magic - and the third novella therein, the one with the psychically-summoned dragons. He and Twoflower were escaping from the Wyrmberg aboard Ninereeds, Twoflower’s dragon, and when Twoflower fainted from lack of oxygen at high altitude, Rincewind desperately tried to imagine a replacement dragon for the instantly-vanished Ninereeds. Death helpfully pointed out “IT WON’T WORK. YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN THEM” but it turned out that Rincewind could imagine a tech-based “dragon”… he just had to shift realities into one where such a device could exist.

[Kobal2]

@Chronos

I don’t recall that one… Is that from one of the more recent books? I’m only as far as The Wee Free Men.

Nope, one of the first two. It’s just a single paragraph really - I don’t recall the exact specifics but him and Twoflowers get shunted to a parallel universe for a few seconds, and wind up as passengers on a plane. Rincewind becomes Pr. Rinjswand, specialist in “breakaway oxydation phenomenon in nuclear reactors” (read : uncontrolled fires ).