El Magnifico.
There are a few people at work who call me “G” (first letter of my first name). So I guess that’ll work.
If not, call me “Hedgehog”
Flabbernabs McGillicuddy Jr. III
C’mon, nobody ever made fun of B.J. Honeycutt!
Ba-dum-TSSSS
I’m going with T-Dog.
Dibs on “Jack Dean Tyler”
No, because that’s taken 
For me, Gee-Gaw also has a nice ring to it.
Sven.
Remember the guy in the beginning of the movie who got cheated out of his tickets on the Titanic? Sven? That’s me. I’ve been 'orribly cheated and abused a number of times… by a “ship” that sank right after sailing without me. Two companies and one industry in general lead the pack, but I’m proudest of watching tech implode just months after I walked out of my last tech job.
Buck Naked
Slappy, Pep, Fishcakes, Mr. Destructo, An Smarmy Wanker, and sometimes Horst.
Mulva
You’d have to repeat that a lot.
Never actually had a nickname; not going to ruin my streak now.