And, completely off topic but too good not to talk about, Spaghetti Alla Puttanesca. (It translates as “hooker’s pasta” - something about certain Italian ladies feeding it to their gentleman friends, ‘to give them strength’. I never noticed it made any difference.) Mix equal parts coarsely-chopped green and black olives (I use Sicilian and kalamata, sliced) with chopped garlic and oregano to taste (don’t be shy!). Pack into a jar, cover with good olive oil and marinate overnight or up to a week. Cook pasta, heat about a tablespoon of the olive mixture per serving, and toss with the pasta. Sprinkle with cheese, Romano is best. Serve with salad, crusty bread (use olive oil instead of butter), and red wine.
Bob the Random Expert
“If we don’t have the answer, we’ll make one up.”
I took this basic “I’m really broke and must have food” soup recipe from my boyfriend and turned it into something pretty darn good.
1 lb. bacon
1 large yellow onion, diced
As much fresh garlic as you can stand (I usually add an 1/8 of a cup or more)
12 oz. sliced mushrooms
3 or 4 carrots, sliced
4 or 5 sticks of celery, sliced
5 lbs. new potatoes cut into ice cube sized chunks
approximately 1/3 cup of kosher chicken soup base (or, if you can’t find that, chicken stock will work)
1 cup of really cheap white wine
pepper, salt, and other spices to taste
Get the biggest pot you can find and set it on the stove.
Cut the bacon into one inch long pieces, dump it in the pot with mushrooms, onion, and garlic and sautee until brown. Pour in white wine.
Dump in everything else and top off with water.
Cover with lid and simmer for six or more hours.
The longer it simmers, the better it’ll be. You can freeze the leftover soup, and reheat, and it’ll be even tastier.
It’s also good with sausage and tabasco sauce.
“I’m surprised that you’ve never been told before, that you’re lovely, that you’re perfect, and that somebody wants you.” - Semisonic, f.n.p
My grandma’s wonderful Berry (or Peach) Cobbler recipe:
Make up enough pie crust for two double crust pies. Roll out enough of the crust to cover the bottom and sides of a 9 x 13 casserole dish. Roll the rest of the crust out and cut most of it into strips. If you want to be fancy, you can cut some of the crust out with cookie cutters. Put the strips and “cookies” on cookie sheets and sprinkle with cinnamon/sugar (don’t use the pre-mixed cinnamon/sugar – you want it heavy on the sugar; lightish on the cinnamon) and bake until golden brown. Mix the fruit (fresh blackberries or raspberries OR fresh sliced peaches – whichever you’ve got) with sugar until it tastes right. You want it sweetish, but not TOO sweet. Once you’ve got the sweetening right, add some flour so it won’t be too runny – not a whole lot, about a scoopful is good. Dump some of the fruit in the bottom of the crust-lined casserole. Dab a bit o’ butter on the fruit and then lay down a layer of the baked crust strips. Slop on another layer of fruit, dab w/butter, add crust strips. Repeat until you run out of fruit. Top with a few crust strips – or if you made cookie shapes, stick those in a pretty design on top. Bake at 400 until it’s hot and bubbling and the bottom crust is golden brown. While you’re baking it you can eat up any leftover crust strips. This is the ultimate dessert for pie-crust lovers like me.
1 1/2 cups butter, melted, referably in a cast iron skillet.
2 cups sugar
a pinch of salt
combine melted butter, sugar and salt in cast iron skillet cook on med heat stirring constantly until the color is pleasing to you
should be a golden brown color.
pour into crust and cool.
Refridgerate for 3 to 4 hours, top with cool whip.
butterscotch only means scorched butter in this case.
“The kulebiaka must make your mouth water, it must lie before you, naked, shameless, a temptation. You wink at it, you cut off a slice, and you let your fingers play over it. You eat it, the butter drips from it like tears, and the filling is fat, juicy, rich with eggs, giblets, onions…”
– Anton Chekov, “The Siren”
My recipe for kulebiaka is kinda long, so I want to hear BEGGING from the TM before I type it all out for y’all. I figured the Chekov quote would start the drooling.
Pssstttt, Jess:
Pie crust dough is one of my favorite “illicit” foods, above even CC cookie dough. Until now, I thought I was the only one. Nice to know I’ve got company.
