I’ve read bits and pieces of a song containing the lines:*
The worms crawl in,
The worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.*
From what I can gather, it’s a very bizarre song about death, and what happens thereafter.
Although I’m tempted to ask, “How the hell do the worms hold the cards?”, my real question is, “Does anyone know all the lyrics to this song?”
Any other information about the song would be appreciated as well.
There’s no ONE set of lyrics to that song.
It mutates, depending where you are.
The version I learned didn’t have the penochle line, f’rinstance.
It’s sun to a tune a lot like the Laurel & Hardy theme - maybe a cross between it and Funeral march of the Marionettes.
Anyway, here’s the version I learned:
Did you ever think when the hearse went by,
That you might be the next to die?
They wrap you up in a big white sheet,
And bury you down 6 feet deep.
The worms crawl in,
the worms crawl out,
In your nose, and out your mouth.
<A few lines about turning into icky gooey gunk which I can never remember>
MMMMMM! And me without my spoon!
The following versions can be found at this site.
“Don’t you ever laugh as the hearse goes by,
For you may be the next to die.
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
From your head down to your feet.
They put you in a big black box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week,
Then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it on a slice of bread,
And that’s what you eat when you are dead.”
" Don’t you laugh as the hearse goes by,
for you may be the next to die.
The undertaker takes you in,
while all your relatives sit and grin.
They wrap you up in a big white sheet,
and bury you under about six feet deep.
Everything’s fine for about a week,
and then the casket begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
the worms play pinochle on your snout.
Your liver turns a ghastly green,
and puffs right up like whipping cream.
you sop it up with a piece of bread,
and that’s what you eat when you are dead. "
Apparantly there is a collection of songs…“The Worm Song and Other Tasty Tunes”, collected by Janet Wilson and published by Scholastic
Their version as quoted on this site as…
"Don’t ever laugh when the hearse goes by
Or you may be the next to die
Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo!
They’ll wrap you up in a clean white sheet
And put you down about six feet deep
Ah-oo! Ah-ooo!
And all goes well for about a week
And then your coffin begins to leak
Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo!
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo!
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes
Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo!
They eat your clothes, they eat your hat
They crawl in skinny, then they crawl out fat
Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo!
Then you turn disgustingly green
Your skin as slimy as whipping cream
Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo!
So next time you see the hearse go by
Watch out!
You may be the next (pause)
To (pause)
Die! "
One curious thing is that the bit about pinochle seems to stick in most people’s memory in spite of the grosser images in the other lines. Even though when you learn it as a little kid you probably have no idea what “pee-knuckle” is, or that it is spelled “pinochle”. Probably has something to do with the effect the “pee” in the phonetics has on the grade school mind.
I had hear it essentially as funeefarmer’s first version, but without the two lines about the eyes, nose, and toejam. And yes, I did know (vaguely) what pinochle was when I first heard it.
The one that ends with the line “And hear I am without a fork and spoon” is a completely different song, starting with “Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts”. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the rest.
And then there’s the dirge-like version by the Pogues:
The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out
The ones that go in are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in and your teeth fall out
Be merry, my friends, be merry!
I always thought the sheet was bloody, not clean [and] white. But that’s a minor detail.
And the one that starts “great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,” goes on to say “mutilated monkey nuts,” but I don’t know what comes next…
I’ve been sitting here for the better part of half an hour trying to remember the words to that damned song and I finally got it----at least our variation of it from childhood.
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mashed up birdie beaks
Mutilated monkey’s feet
French fried eyeballs running down the bloody street
and I don’t have a spoon.
There, I feel much better now.
I have to bring this back from the crypt. I was just thinking of this song the other day. I need to know other versions out there. The rest of the song is bothering me! I need to know the rest because my mom and I can only get to the worms playing pinochle on/in the snout. 
Drives me nuts. (Yes, we are quite a morbid crew…)
Ha-ha, just the other day I was reciting “the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout” to a friend and grossing her out. Now I can send her the rest <evil grin>.
Anyone else have morbid kid songs? 
Since someone has already re-animated this and since the links given upthread are dead, I hope it’s okay to add this.
The worms/pinochle ditty is sung to the tune of Marche funèbre d’une marionnette (“Funeral March of a Marionette”). Words by G. Price and J. Ker Mary, music by Charles Gounod. The music was also used as the theme for the television series Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955).
Nothing makes me want to check my snout for impending worms quite like reading an 11-year-old post of mine.
I still want to know how they hold the damn cards.
I thought it was piccolo. Not that that makes any more sense, I know…
The folks I’ve played pinochle against were drunken Wisconsin cheeseheads and noted it was just another bidding game and wondered why my wife didn’t get us into a Bridge club, until I realized that statements like, “A chimp would’ve taken that trick,” was likely to limit our social horizons to the lower chordata. Or between each other. 
Which it would. I mean, did you see the biddy Mrs Ratty played? There’ll be hell to play, if Ratty ever made it home. And since Mrs Toad left him (for obvious reasons), Toad has visited a sports car dealership and has a new amphibi-friend. Surprisingly female, for now, but this can change with amphibians.
That might not’ve made it into the books.
We always used to sing “The ants play pinochle on your snout.”
Unfortunately, the “worms” tune is nothing like the Gounod piece. It is, as already noted, similar to, but clearly not the same as, the Laurel and Hardy theme.
Search turns up a number of threads on the subject.