Go ahead and pit them both. So far in this thread, you’ve only listed things, or more accurately, mentioned them.
Perhaps you’d like to mention nitpickers in the next post in which you assert that you are Pitting something.
I’d like to pit the title of karl rove thread.
The mantle image of karl rove bailing out of se is sooo disturbing.
IrreverentTone. :mad:
And ketchup. Again.
I pit Budweiser for making me so drunk last night.
I pit the merge sign. Sure, I know by rote that it indicates a reduction from two lanes to one, but its lack of logic bothers me to no end. The sign clearly shows the right lane inching closer to the left, but no merge occurs. Are you too bashful make a merge in public, Picture of a Right Lane? Because maybe, just maybe, a merge sign career just isn’t for you.
Next time, call me. I’ll rescue you and fix you up. 
I pit my job for deciding to move my position out of town to some stupid little village and giving me three hours travel time each day and then not even telling me when it’s going to happen. First it was September 1st and now it’s been delayed some weeks. They will probably end up telling me on Friday that I’ll be moving on Monday. In addition they won’t give me a working space where I am now, I’ve been moving around like a nomad since February. Well, fuck 'em, I’ll find a new job.
Ah, venting, it works.
I pit myself for missing my chiropractor appointment Wednesday, not calling to reschedule it until Friday, my chiro for being out of town Friday, and my neck for giving me horrible headaches while I wait for Monday and the earliest appointment I could get.
Not to be a brown noser, but you rarely fail to get a chuckle out of me.
Uh. Diabetes, the status quo between men and women, the need to constantly use the telephone even in the internets age, the people on the other end of said telephone whose only wish is to get you the fuck off it, mass marketing economies of scale which guarantee no one gets anything everyone doesn’t want, our adorably cute kitty cat who flinches every time I reach to pet her, “walking” clinical depression, toilets that overflow just from looking at 'em funny, burnt chicken, pasteurized process “cheez” “food”, humidity, the stick left at the end of my skimpy little lo-carb 'screambar, the beautiful hand made A-2 jacket that cuts off circulation to my arms whenever I wear it driving the car. That enough?
I pit the brakes on my car. I had you worked on less than a year ago, so you can stop that goddamn squealing and grinding right fucking now, 'cause I don’t have the money to fix you again, got it?
And you can quit trying to go flat, Mr. Front Driver’s Side Tire, because I can’t afford to replace you anytime soon, either.
I pit being broke, too.
And I pit my house for being messy. Fuck you messy house! Damned clutter.
I pit myself, for moving to the other side of the world with no job and nowhere to live.
And the dollar, for dropping like a lead balloon before I bought any pounds.
And myself again, for believing this bubble would last, and not buying pounds last week.
And New Zealand, for being a million miles from anywhere except Australia.
I pit my work ethic.
I wanted to fake the stomach flu and call in sick today, but god damn you, you just wouldn’t let me. I wanted to relax stay home, relax, and possibly masterbate to free downloaded internet porn, but noooo you just had to keep nagging, nag nag nag, now I gotta go in and make tacos.
Damn you work ethic! you inconsiderate bastard.
Idiot store clerk. Why the hell did you bother looking right at me and chirping “I can help you over here” if you’re still going to ring up the woman who practically ran to get to you before me? Are you so wonderful that waiting in your line somehow improved my shopping experience?
Gah. I should have dropped my intended purchase (pillows) and walked out when you admitted you did, in fact, call me over, but she “got there first”.
This is the funniest/most demented thing ever accidentally said aloud. I cackled when I read it. I do not cackle lightly. KneadtoKnow, please un-pit yourself so that you may accept my offer to be your protege.
Damn that’s utterly twisted…and funny…and fucking twisted.
Yeah, KneadToKnow’s line was great! Do not be ashamed!
I pit the stupid assholes on OKCupid who think I should keep pestering someone who rejected me to find out why.
I pit the battery in the car I’m driving. I pit my neighbor for not suggesting we replace the dying battery in this car with the battery from one of the other cars before you left the parking lot. I pit my ex for not telling me that the battery was under warranty and I could have gotten it replaced for free (except I couldn’t because the place it was under warranty at is closed on Sundays).
You know what? I still got the $64 battery. If you guys were really that concerned with saving me money you could reimburse me some of that. Especially you, ex, considering that it’s your car.
Coworker,
Do not come in to my fucking office at work and ask “So, did you beat Steve this weekend?”
And when I stare at you and say no, do not fucking say, “It’s good that you stopped beating him.”
I know that you have the sense of humor of a five-year-old mentally handicapped hippopotamus, and I know that you think it’s the height of hilarity to, as you call it, “pick on people.”
But you will not make a joke of spousal violence in my presence. Get out.