Queen For A Day: In case you don’t know “Queen For A Day” was an actual radio show were the contestants told depressing sob stories about their recent run of bad luck. Whoever had the most depressing story “won”. The outcome was decides by audience voting.
CNN is replaced by a 24 hour Paris Hilton news network.
Survivor: Presidential Canidates
All the current presidential canidates are taken to a desert island. Whoever survives is elected President
I’ll see your Survivor Detroit and UP you to:
Detroit: The Thunderdome.
Wall off the entire city, arm all the people and give them a 30 day Public Homicide Pass.
Whomever is left after 30 days gets to keep what they stole until the next season. They are not allowed to leave The City.
Sponsored by Terminex.
Shirley, can’t we just get beyond Thunderdome?..
(sorry, couldn’t resist the obscure MST3K reference)
two other ideas for boring shows;
Star Trek; Collective- a show centered around the daily life of a low-level Borg drone assigned to the waste-reclimation replicator system, consists of footage of 42 of 47 locked in it’s alcove until it’s maintenance services are required
Survivor; CDC- contestants are put into a Biosafety Level 4 “Slammer” and randomly dosed with highly infectious BL-4 level pathogens (Ebola, Hanta, etc…), the last one surviving “wins” the cure for the infectious agent (assuming one exists)
Law & Order: Court Bailiff…?
Res Ipsa Loquitur: Cashing in on the success of Da Ali G Show, this one features Thing from the old Addams Family program, interviewing top newsmakers. Hilarious moments as Thing bounces up and down wildly while questioning Dick Cheney. Later, Thing confounds reporters during a guest gig as White House Press Secretary.
Who wants to father my child?. Infertile couples get to pick from a group of 20 men with the winner getting to impregnant the wife. Elimination tests are completely up to the will of the couple every episode. Insert out of work 80’s sitcom actor/actress to host.
[Sipowicz] Ipsy this you prissy little b***h [/Sipowicz]
Does the next to last guy standing win? Or is is it a pun with “Pen” for cage? Both ways work for me.
Pirates of Penn Square - Musical adaptation of the story of small time thieves at Oklahoma City’s favorite shopping mall.
The Whole Nine Yards - A mini series focusing on the daring adventures of a football player, a tailor of handmade suits, and a WWII fighter airplane ammo reloader, and a deaf-mute duck who are in search of a machine that doesn’t DO anything.
Donny & Marie Show - An incestuous family with nearly double the normal amount of teeth per head perform comedy, music, & variety from a studio deep in Angkor Wat.
American, Idle - Loitering caught on hidden camera.
CSI: Vatican City - actually, I might want to see this one …
Nuns Gone Wild See them shopping at the Megamart!
Big Brother: Waiting Room Watch from hidden cameras as people browse through 5 month old issues of shitty magazines as they wait to see their doctor! Who will be up next??
Will Cousin Itt be playing the Borat role?
No, see, there’s already a show called “Ultimate Fighter,” so “Penultimate Fighter” is funny. Or maybe not. Enjoy it while you can, they’re about to ban it.
Penn & Teller’s Dog Shit. Famed magic act and skeptics take a different dog for a walk in the park every week.
Alright, one more.
Boot Camp: A down-to-earth couple (played by Chuck Norris and Reba McEntyre) run a tough-love facility for troubled kids. Many heartwarming moments and a few unexplained deaths.
You know, Itt might be an even better host.
Itt’s Alive: Hairy, beloved sitcom character unintelligibly queries celebrities, then pitches dandruff cure.
Any major show, redone with Furries in all the parts.
In a near-future short story in the anthology Three-Fisted Tales of “Bob,” there is mention of a “Browsing Channel.” Some bright TV exec realized there are so many viewers who habitually just switch from channel to channel at random, there would be potential in a channel that does it for them and saves them having to work the remote.
When the protagonist changes the channel on a TV in a waiting room that is currently tuned to the Browsing Channel, a lady says, “Hey! I was watching that!”