Hard to do mine without resorting to acronyms, so…
…if someone fit the description of blur perfectly, I’d call them a blurt.
If Tamex reminded me of a former significant other who never stalked me, sabotaged my relationships, was quite civil, etc., I’d call her a Tame-ex.
Oh Goddess YES! I love the pain!
(in other words do me next!)
I’d like to officially extend apologies to Miss Creant, who I didn’t know existed.
Sod? How very unimaginative. Someone please help me out here…
Oh c’mon, Mysphyt, it’s no fun if you just roll over like that. Get vicious! Slather on the BBQ sauce and fire up the grill!
Flame me for my pretentious use of Latin quotes that I only learned from a comic book. Find something better than my (admittedly lame) Cap’n Crud pitification and post it in 28-point letters, with links to news reports that my mom sucks cocks in hell instead of vacationing in South Carolina.
Poopy-head. 
Oh, YEAH?
{showing up at your door in my best striped blazer and straw boater, carrying flowers, a five-pound box of chocolates, and a mandolin}
How about pornspank?
[giggle]
Choosybeggar wrote:
Or hellestina or (for the intellectual pit thread)dull-a-thinka
Ooh! These are SO cute! I really like “hellestina” because I really do like raising hell, and “dull-a-thinka” just makes all giggly.
I must commend you, Choosybuttho’ on coming up with a really great thread. You’re so creative. What else do you have for me?
I don’t know about how to “pitify” my name (other than “Jeannie Jeannie Eats Zucchini” or “Jeannie Weenie”), but you could use various phrases such as:
Hey, Jeannie, while you’re at it, why not wish yourself up a brain?
or:
Hey, go shove that bottle of yours up your ass!
or:
Next time Major Nelson goes up in the shuttle, tell him to take you with him so you’ll get off our fucking planet.
Yes, I know, these are lame. I hereby offer an open invitation to anyone who feels like having fun with my name.
Hi, AtreyUGLY!
Just going along with the crowd,
Viva
Um,
Phallus in Dunderland?
Why, thanks a lot Chippy Buggerer
Have you forgotten, You-can’t-lay-the-pipe, that I’m a big, hairy, middle-aged, heterosexual man?
Wait a minute. Did you say five pounds of chocolate?
Well, come on in, and bring your mandolin. I’ve got a chanter, (the business end of a bagpipe), maybe we can do a duet.
Friend Atreyu, I tried man, but all I could come up with was A Spayed Dude
Soda, all I could think of for you was Scrota which probably isn’t a real word. Neverless, it’s something.
For Kricket, I thought of Clit Lick. Unfortunately, with that thought, my mind started to wander, so the rest of youse guys will have to do each other.
So, just what the fuck is YOUR problem, Dr. Ass Tick?
There are other possibilities, but that’s the best one off the top of my head.
I hijacked my dogs’ (male Italian Greyhound) name … and don’t regret it for a moment. But, I haven’t figured a morph on this one yet; any help?
How about ugly?
That’s real nice Meannie!
As for me:
How about fuckya
Or smellya
Or bitchya
Or smegma
I think the best one I’ve heard yet for me is
“merfag” I was actually called that once.
How about Spermaid–a transvestite mermaid, or even worse spermade a drink that’s best served hot but taste awful no matter what you mix it with.
Kricket… erm, yes, Clit Lick came to mind…
Lick it? Stick it? Pick it?
grins
Somebody take mine…
Sorry, Searching For Truth. The best I can do for you is Searching For Truth In His Own Asshole.
Actually, I rather like that one …