I’m hurting here. Just LNO? Nothing more, nothing less?
I guess you could try to say that I’m so dumb I don’t realize that there’s an ‘m’ in ‘l-m-n-o’ in the alphabet.
Or maybe it’s pronounced ‘Ellen-O’, and I have a secret desire to be fellated by Ellen Degeneres.
Either way, I don’t seem to Pitify very well.
Hm.
Cuntalooppi?
Jizzer? I dunno. I’m at a loss.
But hey, nobody would wanna flame lil’ old me anyway, right?
(And Uke, please tell me you just made that up, and didn’t find it somewhere. It sounds like Dr. Seuss on opium.)
Sorry, it IS Dr. Seuss on opium. See The Sleep Book, 1964.
– Ukulele Jim
Jester, obviously you would be Pester!
For mee…I dunno…Sunslime?
Turd Werfect, at your service.
And Jester could always be Fester
Ukulele Ike: Ukulele Dyke?
Sunshine: maybe Assshine? Er, too many s’s. How about Moonshine?
For me, maybe Cleoputz. Hmm. That one seems good.
I think the insult should be close enough to the poster’s original name that it is obvious who is being referred to, as in " That Dumbazine is such a stumblebum! Who the Bumblefuck does he think he is?"
for example: Cleopus, Purd Werfelch, Scumshine, U-can’t-lay-me Ike, Just-turd, Kinda-loopy, Hell-No Hmmm… kinda breaks down at this point, sorry.
I already get called ‘screech’, a perjorative in itself. Don’t see much else that can be done with my name.
Mine is already so pitiful in its original form, that changing it would do nothing to increase its inherent pitifulness. I mean, really. You can’t polish a turd.
Well, since one of my off-line friends seems to think that my username looks like the name of a “feminine hygiene product”, then I could be Tampex. If you are not imaginative at all, I could be Kotex or Playtex or even Spandex or Latex.
I suppose you could also say Tamexican (not sure how that would be an insult, but you never know) or Wildx. The more juvenile among us could call me Lamex. Hmmm, I could be your evil bitch Tamex-wife, or you could sing that “all my Tamexes live in Texas” (not that I do, but oh well.)
If you just wanted to cheapen my image a little, you could just say Tvisa.
Oh, gee, this is a toughie, how about…uh…DorkPrince.
If you wish to convey that I’m a fat bastard, but with a continental flair, then please call me chubby-blighter
If you view me as a chunky, swollen dickrod, then perhaps curdybloater gets the message across nicely?
Not exactly pit material, but a great idea nonetheless. 
I was thinking more along the lines of Astroglide14
With pleasure ma’am. How would you feel about WhinerOfTheBoardth?
How did Silo get banned?
Or hellestina or (for the intellectual pit thread)dull-a-thinka
It’s like you were made for the pit, Dumbshitstine
But did you ever consider the possibilities of leech-bowel?
VivaLoserWages.
VivalostWitchAss.
SnivelLostWages.
Jester - Jizzed Her
GingeroftheNorth - FingerupyourNose
ChoosyBeggar - JuicyChigger
Ukulele Ike - U Look a Little Dike
Biggirl - Pigcurl? Figchurl? Digsquirrel? Nope, not really working.
Yours as ever,
Felcherlou
Someone on the board keeps calling me cornflak. I don’t care if they do, but this would be a great time for them to speak up and take the credit that they are due.
If that’s not good enough, all I can think of is cornfuck.
Jack@ss, in redneck jargon, an @ssJack is a small pillow kept in a truck that is used to make it easier to have sex in the truck.
Ahem . . . I’m rather easy myself.
If the thread concerns my remarkable girth: Mysfat.
If, in the thread, I’m behaving in a manner that defies my masculinity: Miss Phyt
These can be naturally combined to form Miss Fat
If I’m behaving like a stereotypical ghetto skank: Mysthang
If my behavior is not in question and you’re just looking for a potshot: Mysspelt
Or, one could capatalize on the “My” beginning and call me:
Mysphincter
Mysmartass
Mywordwhatamoron
and so on . . .
Similarly, if I say something stupid, the proper retort is “My ass, Myspit.”
Furthermore, the “Mys” beginning can be rather easily transmuted thusly:
MysterSmartyPants
Mysinformed
Mysdirected
Myssion:Impassable
Mysanthrope
And my personal favorite, Myscreant
And as for you, Rock-N-Vulva, I beg to differ.
The best I can manage right now is Cap’n Crud. The sad thing is, half the time you dyslexic assclowns spell it that way by accident.
Of course, it might not be an accident after all …
Ever since I saw this thread earlier today, I’ve been trying to come up with something.
All I can think of is Atreyuck.
I know. Pathetic.
Is this screen name really immune to Pitification?
Originally posted by some SDMB cumstain:
Yeah, MissCreant is one of my favorites too. So don’t defile her username with imbecilic, walrus-buggering attempts at making humor out of your own. :wally
Have I mentioned that I love threads like this? A little abuse and self-abuse goes a long way. It’s why my forearms are so big.