Seems to be one of the rules they do enforce as written. If you let a mod know about such cases and they did nothing I’d be surprises. And it’s not like their other failings surprise me at all.
It happens, and there have been times when I’ve been accused of putting words in someone’s mouth when I misunderstood them.
I gauge the sincerity based on how hostile they are to the misunderstanding that they have come to. The more offended they claim to be, often, the more they were looking for something to claim to be offended by.
So, you’re saying we should feel free to be smug in these threads, stick around, and tell the OP how we’re better than him or her?
No, But I do. It’s why I opened the thread.
So do I. Is that what you got out of the OP? Because I heard the equivalent of “this place is full of assholes who act like jerks, so I’m gone” with nary a link or quote.
You want to explain why this place is unpalatable? I’m all ears.
You want to announce that you are leaving because of unnamed posters doing ambiguous things? I couldn’t care less about your angst.
Cute.
I read a list of specific sorts of behaviors that we have all seen many times. Pitting the individual episodes is not the point or useful. Recognizing that to large extents it has become de facto board culture and trying to be more self aware of how “we” are pushing away many is.
The only useful thing would be to specify the incidents. Giving general complaints before flouncing is not helpful at all.
I’m sure everyone can agree that those behaviors in the OP aren’t good. But without context, this is the equivalent of saying, “Your business sucks so I will no longer require your services again.” Okay, that’s just a worthless rant. How can anything useful come out of that?
No, it’s exactly how Moriarty put it. Your words here are as useless as the OP’s.
Okay. Which of course means as useful. Or not.
Most of us don’t need to have specific examples linked to. Neither those who are leaving, nor those who hang on by a thread or have taken long vacations, are invested enough to build links to get lost in trees over.
If your experience is other than that then it is. If you don’t see it you don’t see it.
There’s no fixing it anyway. Maybe the public square is just a ruder space now. (Not applicable to this forum in which rude is explicitly allowed.)
This is the wrong board for you. I don’t know what the right one would be, I imagine it’s worse everywhere else.
He was here for nine years. Many threads started and participated in. Not someone Pitted maybe ever.
These are the people leaving. And the response is these sorts of responses. It says something.
I’m not sure that works. As I’ve said before, I don’t think the vast majority of people actually look for reasons to be offended. What is more likely is that you hit on a hot button for that person. Or that there is some confirmation bias due to various things, e.g. having faced other people making that argument, or past dealings with the person in question. Or even just having a bad day.
My own experience is that I do not ever look for reasons to be angry at people. But I have definitely gotten quite offended by something I misunderstood. And, what’s more, I’ve sometimes not believed them when they claim they meant something else.
I can accept that some very shitty people actually look for reasons to be offended. But then they will show themselves as shitty in other ways. There are many people who have misunderstood me, gotten mad (even some who didn’t respond well to an apology and clarification) who I do not think are assholes.
I honestly think the best way to handle it is to assume the person did not mean to “put words in my mouth” and just clarify without the accusation. And, other than that, just look for patterns of behavior.
Someone who is looking to be offended I would characterize as a troll. And trolls have tells.
This place has been this way since I joined. It appeared to made specifically for this purpose. When I’m down south I begin to talk like a Southerner. When I’m in England I start talking like a Brit. When I’m in Brazil I start speaking Portuguese. I refuse to go to France.
So I’ve been part of the problem by mirroring the worst of the Dope. I’m surprised you are still here, you represent the best of the Dope and most of that seems to have gone already.
Of your list of three, this is the only one that bothers me. I am “meh” on your second point, and as to your first, well, frankly I think some people’s opinions really aren’t worth listening to. I have dozens of posters on ignore, and not all of them for being racist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, or otherwise bigoted. Some of them, I just think are infuriatingly stupid and bring down the level of discourse by being responded to.
Not sure if you are being sarcastic or not. I’m not likely on any “best of” list. Neither am I too likely to be fodder of many ignore lists either. That said we of the middle 90% are, by definition, the bulk of the body of this community.
Again I personally did give up on this place for a bit, gradually coming back via CS first, and only recently into the more potentially argumentative fora. I enjoy the art of argument but the risk in those fora are having to deal with those who argue like jerks (the misrepresenting of what has been said one form of that), who are arrogant despite or perhaps due to their profound ignorance, and those who take any arguments very personally and very seriously. Bad experiences in QZ (I can link if you insist) began my dissatisfaction but it spread. It’s always a balance of wheat to chaff. We just seem to have a poorer balance as we go.
Returning to our OP though. A long time member of a community, never offensive, contributing with reasonable comments and questions and answers for years, IMHO, should be responded to with a
bit less callousness when they say they’ve had it.
That said looking at the threads they were recently in I don’t get it. A fairly reasonable IMHO about how to respond if Putin used a nuke in Ukraine and a post in which they found a song reference and were thanked for having done so?
If still here @Uniqueorn, could you possibly be more specific to what the problems were in your most recent experience?
Eh, on second thought never mind.
No sarcasm. I have never seen you display anger on the board without provocation (mine in one case) but not with an drama, just expressing your feelings plainly. You don’t join in pile-ons that I’ve noticed. You seem to remain level headed and calm mannered all the time. You also provide plenty of factual information on subjects and try to enhance debates where such data is needed instead of attacking other poster or their posts. I have a feeling it is in your nature to help people and that’s what you do often on the board, elegantly as well. Maybe I’ve missed all your childish outrageous posts, but I don’t think so.
In that case thank you very much for your kind words.
Catches me off guard in a Pit thread!
I think this little piece from CNN explains why people leave this board, and how the world of social media and the real world have changed.
Too bad he couldn’t distill it into written form.
It links to the actual article being discussed here.
I too prefer reading but I suspect it would have been quicker to watch the video clip!
A few key lines that sketch out the thesis.
It’s a long piece, with the shortest version being that structural features of social media are resulting in mass stupefaction.