Pitting PKBites

Continuing the discussion from Dealing with a kid who is willfully destructive:

Okey dokey.

You’re discussing the ways you beat your children for no reason. Your old man sucked, and so do you.

I couldn’t separate these comments from the knowledge of his choice of careers.

And then I couldn’t help wondering how common this pattern is.

No kidding.

You should beat criminals at least once a week. If you don’t know why, they do!

I’ll say this for my Dad, he learned some pretty bad parenting tactics from his own uneducated mother (his father died when he was six), and he started out practicing them on us, but he wasn’t uneducated, and he learned and changed over the years. Not everything your parents do is worth repeating.

It still baffles me (although it shouldn’t) how people who think it’s normal and effective to wallop their kids can’t understand that it’s possible to effectively discipline kids any other way. They may as well just come out and say they don’t have the skills to make kids behave without hurting them.

If they had the skills to talk about their emotions and their shortcomings, they wouldn’t resort to beating small people and crowing about it. Their inability to admit their own failures as parents is exactly tied into their failures as parents.

When I read this, without even noticing the author, the first thing I thought was, sounds like a family of cops.

They seem to really believe that there are only two options: coddled undisciplined delinquents running the streets, or corporal punishment. Somehow they miss the entire middle.

More than once, I’ve asked someone who advocated this, “Do you also think it’s OK for men to beat their wives?” They generally hesitate to answer that question, if they do at all. They’re often the same people who post memes on Facebook that say things like, “My mother carried a wooden spoon around with her to show me who was boss, and it made me who I am today!” Really? Divorced from 3 abusive husbands, that kind of thing?

There is a difference between giving a child a tap on the hand, or the rear end, and beating them to a point of leaving visible injuries (and my mother defined “discipline” that way). Unfortunately, some people don’t seem to know the difference.

As for people who are afraid to set limits for their kids because they say they fear CPS, they often have other very good reasons to be on CPS’ radar - living with drug dealers, that kind of thing.

Can we say out loud: PKbites is an admitted child abuser?

(eta: or is trolling)

Absofuckinlutely. At best he’s advocating a kind of child abuse that’s legal, and at worst he’s advocating exactly the same sort of child abuse and it’s illegal. Either way it’s super fucked up, and he’s a failure as a parent and as a human being if he’s telling the truth.

But maybe he’s just trolling, in which case I’ll rescind the “failure as a parent” claim as lacking evidence.

It can be both.

My dad was an abusive asshole. He would beat me because he had a bad day, he put a hole in the drywall using my head at least once.

He did a lot of shit like that and he taught me a lot. I patterned a great deal of my life around being as different from him as I could and I think it made me a much better person.

I’ve never laid a hand on my kids, and that’s just the start of how I learned from my upbringing.

To this day when I mention how I was abused my mom rolls her eyes and acts like I’m being dramatic. A small kid shouldn’t be whipped with a belt until they bleed. Especially if it’s because my brother broke my bedroom window (true story, I was supposed to stop him from throwing that rock) or I got a B on a test in school.

It’s possible you’re taking him too literally. I mean there’s corporal punishment, and then there’s corporal punishment. I got spanked, smacked with a ruler, whipped with a tree branch. I personally wouldn’t do it if I had a kid, but I don’t think my parents were abusive. Using knuckles, a closed fist, throwing a kid into a wall or down the stairs? Yeah that’s abuse.

Not just a child abuser, but a serial child abuser. Assuming that pkbites is not trolling, his child suffered literally hundreds of beatings. Upwards of a thousand wouldn’t be out of the question - after all, once a week is only the minimum number of beatings.

WTF? You may want to re-evaluate.

Sorry, I’m not a pussy. I personally don’t believe in corporal punishment because it teaches aggression, but I don’t think it damages kids forever, either - that’s liberal wussy ass psychobabble.

Whipping with a tree branch goes way beyond normal behavior control. It’s pretty common for children raised that way to not see that.

My mother did it once. She used a ruler once. She eventually stopped corporal punishment altogether once I was able to look her in the eye at eye level, lol. My father as well. They didn’t get physical often, but it happened. They were just copying the only discipline they’d ever learned. I didn’t like it. I personally know better (not that it matters), but spankings and other ‘physical’ forms of punishment have been around since forever. Kids aren’t ruined by it. I wish my two nephews had had their asses whipped a few times, to be honest.

Yeah, I got hand it to my folks. My mother used to be sent out to pick switches to be used to whip the backs of her bare legs. My father’s parents whaled on him a fair bit with whatever was at hand. Both of them loved their parents, but resented the fuck out of being beaten and never laid a hand on me when I was a kid. Well, I think I got one hand lightly slapped once.

Far as I can tell I didn’t turn out all that damaged by their indulgence.