During the scene in Scanners where the gunman walks into the record store the van crashed into:
“He’s going to demand Creedence Clearwater Revival.”
Well I thought it was funny.
Thread over. Calanctus wins.
Well, his/her friend anyway.
Hmmm is it just me or with a few exceptions are these “you had to be there stories?” Reading these makes me realize why most comedians are paid professionals 
CaptMurdock-
RE Star Trek: Generations-
Shatner vs Malcolm McDowell… how could I resist
“Come & get one in the yarbles, Kirk!”
and
“SIIIIIIINGING IN THE RAIN!”
Also, when watching the preview ep of ST-TNG, after defeating the
creature by making it happy, Deanna Troi coos “I feel… great
satisfaction!”
My friend says (in front of his Mom) “Some guy just shot his wad on
C Deck.”
WTF is MST3K ?
I mean, I understand the concept of the thread, but what’s the acronym?
MST3k= Mystery Science Theater 3000 sat mornings sci fi channel 9am to 11 am EST
Thanks!
I saw the movie “shocker” (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0098320) in the theater. Near the start of the move a guy is killed, he is really bloody and he is REALLY OBVIOUSLY dead (as opposed to mostly dead) The cop runs up and takes his pulse, despite the fact that he is beheaded or whatever and some guy in the audience with a really deep voice says:
“Yah-he dead.”
Having re-read that, I think jonpluc might be right. Some of these might be ‘location jokes’ (you had to be there)
During the animated Lord of the Rings, there’s a scene where Boromir nearly attacks Frodo to get the ring. Same scene as in Fellowship of the Ring, except much worse. Boromir, in the animated version, is a Viking, which is laughable in itself. He wears the helmet with the horns and everything.
So there’s this scene after Frodo turns invisible and runs off, where this Viking Boromir with the horned helmet, says… “What have I done…?”
To which my roommates promptly responded, “I’ve killed the wabbit!”
I saw Gladiator in the auditorium on campus during my college days. Those of you who’ve seen it may remember the scene where Commodus is putting the “you sexy thang” moves on his sister. At one point he asks her, “Remember what our father told us?”
Guy in the balcony blurts out “Don’t have sex!”
I have no idea what happened between that line and the Final Climactic Battle ™.
jonpluc, Jorel: Yeah. It’s usually the delivery that makes the bit as funny as it seemed at the time.
I have to admit, though, remembering the Bakshi LOTR Boromir, I may well have pissed myself had I been there. 
I saw Speed in the theater. Early on there was a familiar-looking helicopter shot where Keanu enters the freeway driving a light colored SUV.
I actually tried to stop myself from blurting out, “GO O.J.!”, but it slipped out anyway.
I got quite a few laughs, as well as a few hisses.
Definite you-had-to-be-there factor.
Carlito’s Way, a scene in which Sean Penn’s afroed character Kleinfeld is getting it on with a Puerto Rican woman:
“It’s Juan Epstein’s parents!”
I don’t remeber the name of the film, but it starred Michael Douglas and Melanie Griffith. Douglas, a military operative of some kind is trying to get Griffith out og Nazi controlled wherever and into the loving arms of a nearby neutral country.
He’s been injured, and they are at what I recall as some kind of border check. Now there’s a big white line painted on the ground indicating the line between Naziland and wherever the hell he’s trying to take her.
Douglas (all in slow motion) gets the hell shot out of him as he carries Griffith towards this line. Eventually, he collapses (presumably dead) and Griffith drops just on the other side of the line.
The film goes silent at this point with what I’m sure were very dramatic shots of Douglas dying and Griffith hitting the ground in safe territoty.
From the back of the theatre, someone yells;
“TOUCHDOWN!”
Laughed myself silly…
Way, waaaaaay back when I was a teen-ager, I saw Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan during its theatrical run.
Right during the dramatic, touching scene where Spock is dying inside the radiation-filled chamber, the film quit and the theater’s lights went up! :mad: Apparently, the projectionist had forgotten to queue up the next reel, but it looked for all intents and purposes like the movie had just ended.
At this affront, someone in the audience quipped, “Well, that’s it, they ran out of money.”
Ooh, ooh. Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to present my wife, author of the greatest one-liner I’ve ever heard at a movie.
So we’re watching “Life of Brian”, and they’re at the scene when Brian is running from the Romans and he stumbles into an area full of itinerant street preachers. He starts mumbling some kind of quasi-religious New Agey-sounding jazz, watching the Roman centurions out of the corner of his eye. The Romans drift off, and Brian heaves a sigh of relief, hops off the plinth he’s standing on, and starts to walk away. By now, however, he’s gotten a crowd of incredibly interested hearers, and they start to pester him for more cryptic apocalypticism. Trying to back away gracefully, Brian soon finds himself at a dead run through the market, down the lanes, and out of the city into the desert. By now, the crowd is enormous, and they’re chasing him all over, begging for scraps of wisdom. In the chase, Brian manages to lose a shoe. He hops painfully for a second, getting his balance back, and then he’s tearing off for dear life as the crowd stumbles raggedly to a halt in front of the sad-looking abandoned footgear. One of the mob lifts it triumphantly above his head and hollers, “His shoe! He left his shoe as a sign!”
“It’s a sandal, dipwad,” says one of the others.
“It’s a shoe!” the first insists angrily.
“Sandal!” shouts the other, and pretty soon there’s a fistfight going on.
My wife leans over and whispers, “The first schism.”
Nobody else in the theater heard her, but people blocks away heard me.
Ooh, ooh. Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to present my wife, author of the greatest one-liner I’ve ever heard at a movie.
So we’re watching “Life of Brian”, and they’re at the scene when Brian is running from the Romans and he stumbles into an area full of itinerant street preachers. He starts mumbling some kind of quasi-religious New Agey-sounding jazz, watching the Roman centurions out of the corner of his eye. The Romans drift off, and Brian heaves a sigh of relief, hops off the plinth he’s standing on, and starts to walk away. By now, however, he’s gotten a crowd of incredibly interested hearers, and they start to pester him for more cryptic apocalypticism. Trying to back away gracefully, Brian soon finds himself at a dead run through the market, down the lanes, and out of the city into the desert. By now, the crowd is enormous, and they’re chasing him all over, begging for scraps of wisdom. In the chase, Brian manages to lose a shoe. He hops painfully for a second, getting his balance back, and then he’s tearing off for dear life as the crowd stumbles raggedly to a halt in front of the sad-looking abandoned footgear. One of the mob lifts it triumphantly above his head and hollers, “His shoe! He left his shoe as a sign!”
“It’s a sandal, dipwad,” says one of the others.
“It’s a shoe!” the first insists angrily.
“Sandal!” shouts the other, and pretty soon there’s a fistfight going on.
My wife leans over and whispers, “The first schism.”
Nobody else in the theater heard her, but people blocks away heard me.
Got Mrs. Skeezix back t’other day.
We’re all sitting about the living room, watching Blue’s Clues. Well, actually, only Mrs. Skeezix was watching it, as the little one and I were constructing the castle of doom with her over-sized lego blocks, and fighting over which blocks would go where. Those of you with kids/nieces/nephews/baby-sitting jobs will be familiar with Steve’s ‘mail-time’ song and dance. (For the rest: The host of this kids’ show literally does a songe and dance number at some point every episode about the mail, when it arrives.)
Immediately after this bit (he’s just so excited to get mail, every single time) I says, “Man, that Steve is a lonely guy.” Mrs. Skeezix thought it was pretty funny. Ya definately hadda be there, though, I think.
[sub]Those of you who are familiar with this can attest, I think, that you get a little slap happy after watching this stuff for weeks.[/sub]
I hate to break it to you, McJohn, but all your wife did was correctly identify the humorous element in that particular scene.
And the schism was wether the shoe was sacred, or the gourd.