Ooh! I’d like to be the good-time gal. You know, the one who’s always at the tavern when the guys come in needing consolation because they can’t figure out the next step. Inevitably, the good-time girl (who has a heart of gold that is not on any treasure map, sorry but no profit here Rue) will innocently pass along very important information.
Only I don’t want to be killed by the bad guy when he finds out. I wanna fall in love with the eccentric guy who turns out to be nice, and surprise! he’s rich, too.
I’m having a hard time posting a reply to Ashes, Ashes–I keep falling down!! Ha, ha–I crack myself up! (Good thing, too, because nobody else ever laughs.)
Okay, so I don’t have a problem with a good-time girl per se, but I see no reason why she should get a share of the loot. If Mr. Eccentric but Nice wants to share his loot with her, fine. Otherwise, she gets a 20% tip at the end of the evening, maybe 25% if she remembers I like my vodka on the rocks.
And the darlin’ dog don’t get no loot, either. He can have table scraps like the rest of us, and anybody he rescues owes him a steak.
So, any more adventurers, or should we just start bartering with Rue for the map?
Well, I’m too old and tired for adventures, but I’m always available to dispense advice and offer counsel. Usually cryptic. Potentially misinterpretable. Guaranteed to make any adventure more adventuresome.
You’ll find me in the slightly run-down cottage by the clearing. Mind the stones on the path - they’re a mite irregular.
Very funny, Rue, but you try lugging a full-sized rapier around all day. Just try it, okay? The big 'un is just for special occasions. Besides, I’m lazy.
Does a nice cup of tea and a cucumber sandwich come with the advice, FairyChatMom? 'Cause I aint walking all the way out to the clearing for some cryptic advice. Too much effort. I’ll settle for some garbled gossip from the potman at the inn.
Just playing with the buttons on the reply screen:
I don’t understand the concept of cucumber sandwiches. But I do make a wonderful cucumber salad. And I can do tea.
Of course if you’re too freekin’ lazy to make a stroll to see me, regardless of the advice dispensed, well, just forget you. Those who do venture this way will be rewarded in many ways.
You, on the other hand, will be stuck at a smelly, smoky inn, and you’ll be robbed in your sleep. And your horse will develop shin splints.
That’s okay, I forgot that I get the brawny men. If I could get brawny and brainy, I’d be in heaven. But heck, one out of two ain’t bad.
What constitutes a whole collection of burly men? And would they all be bearing cookies and beer, or might one or two of them carry thick juicy steaks or a couple pounds of spareribs?
You know, I’d be more interested in adventuring if the treasure at the end of the trail was a brawny man or two.
Not at the Inn of the Galloping Gelding, where I, the wise, wizened, wiry hostler, will tend your steed faithfully, provide comic relief, and drop a casual comment that hides a crucial clue to the only safe way through the Forest of Fungoid Ferns.
Horse? Nothing could convince me to bestride one of the vile beasts. Perhaps I could hire a carriage of some sort. Or maybe Angel Pants will lend me a few burly men and a sedan chair.
Forget the cucumber sandwiches. We’ll do a barbeque.
Ok, but only four of em and only if ya promise not to bruise any of em. And all I got right now for a chair is a bucket seat chair. Will that do?
FCM they do indeed still make that vile concoction of a satanic cola named :eek: Tab. I shuddered as I walked by a display in the grocery store just yesterday.
Angel Pants, I hereby swear and affirm, before God and as a cough gentleman cough that I shall return your burly men and chair none the worse for wear. On my cough honor cough, sir.
My arm and my blade(s) shall forever be at your service if you would be so kind as to provide me the means to receive some cryptic advice regarding navigation.
I’ll bring everything back no more than slightly knocked around and bruised*.
*Ex- leaving plenty of room for Rue and welby to make jokes.
Slightly bruised is ok. I would enjoy “nursing” burly men back to health. And good news, I found a sedan chair! This one is cool cause it has a little mini fridge/bar in it. Please try to not scarf down all the Academia nuts, ok?
BTW, cause I know everyone worries so if I ain’t around, I am a travelin’ bear next week. I get to spend 4 days working in Louisville, KY and that part of Indiana that butts up against that part of KY.
I said butt and KY in the same sentence! Heh! Heh!
