Please explain this homoerotic MasterCard ad...

OK, so maybe it’s not homoerotic… I’m just missing the in joke because I literally don’t know the players, but it certainly looks gay to me.

A lean, mid-20’s jock-looking guy greets towering NFL linebackers getting off a bus at a spa. He looks happy, they don’t. He gives them welcoming hugs and is mildly distressed by their hugs (not uncomfortable weird, just uncomfortable too tight).

They’re walking along the beach in their spa bath robes and one linebacker pushes the guy away for no apparent reason.

They’re getting massages (the linebackers are all relaxed with their eyes closed) and the jock leans up to look over at them.

They’re doing yoga and all the linebackers are eyeing this guy, and when he senses their stares and looks back, they all close their eyes.

At the tag, there’s some pushing and shoving.

The voice over is all about coming together and doing things with friends and how MasterCard makes that happen.

So… is the jock some rival quarterback that the linebackers just wanna sack? (You know, it’s really hard to stay away from double entendres.) Or some Joe Schmoe who won a vacation with a football team and they see him as some jerk?

Or, is this an NFL gay bath house?


The thin guy is quarterback Peyton Manning. Superstar player, etc., etc.

I took it that the other guys are the offensive linemen on his team , the ones that keep him from getting killed every play.

Ot they could, as you say, be linebackers from other teams and he’s trying to appease their wrath.

Whichever, he’s using his Master Card to reward or appease the others. Or not. I haven’t paid enough attention to that commercial to know. If ya’ wanna’ get ME to pay attention to a commercial, ya’ gotta’ mix some chicks in bikinis in there somewhere!


The other guys are defensive players from other teams. I remember one of them is Brian Urlacher (sp?) the star linebacker from the Bears.

I think the commercial is about Peyton (a.k.a. Goober) trying to get the other guys to not kill him when they play. The, of course, just want to follow their natural tendencies for defensive players and kill him…

The Yoga scene is funny because they’re all supposed to be meditating - inner tranquility, and all that. He’s all into it, and they’re sitting there with their eyes closed, waiting for it to be over.

So in other words it’s just the normal homoeroticism found in pro football.

:smiley: Spat out my diet soda after reading that.

Well, it’s not quite as good as the other Peyton MasterCard commercial (“cut that meat! cut that meat!”), but it’s definitely enjoyable Urlacher and Strahan giving him the stare of death during yoga sessions :smiley:

Guys, the key is in what the announcer is saying. The voice over guy is saying something about not taking your eye off of something important. Strahan and Urlacher, being defensive players, have to watch Payton, the opposing quarterback, carefully to find out what he’s going to do and make the play - namely sack him. The funny part about the yoga is that they’re totally not yogaing, they’re watching Payton, so’s maybe they can put the hurt on him. When he looks around and notices, they quick close their eyes like they weren’t watching.

It’s a really funny commercial if you’re a football fan.

Yeah, pretty much. It’s the gayest sport since the Ancient Olympics.

You’re not into ice dancing, I take it?

It’s even funnier if you’re not; I thought the theme was “jealous boyfriends.”

Heh, do the ice dancing commentators spend long minutes discussing how flexible and powerful and built the particpants are? Do you ever hear “He penetrated hard and drove it up the middle” in ice dancing?

Because if so, then yeah,maybe football is the second gayest sport…

Now we’re getting into raw, naked football. ooops, the topic is homoeroticism.

I’ve never seen an ice skater pat the behind of another ice skater. Although, the number of ice skaters that have appeared on Will & Grace v. number of linebackers is 1 to 0.
Thanks for the info on the who’s who in the ad.

Hmmm, big beefy men in jockstraps, lycra pants, kneepads, shoulder pads, and helmets, leaning over, grunting hard, slamming into each other, then patting each other on the butt. Totally straight! :wink:

And the difference is…?

You are all highlighting the reasons why it is so difficult, if not downright dangerous, for a gay football player to come out of the closet during his career.

All I can say to that is, they also must not be into bears, or have tremendous self-control, cause if I had to play in the mud with 21 fit, young women, I wouldn’t be able to control certain bodily expressions…

They do wear protective gear down there, I think.

And yes, when I think “homoerotic,” I definitely think of sports where guys beat the living crap out of each other. Natural as the gay- er, day is long.

I honestly don’t recall the last time I saw two football players patting each other on the ass. If ever. I know I never patted any male asses nor had mine patted when I played in high school.