This is stellar advice. Aside from the fact that I was the rejecter rather than the rejectee, that’s pretty much what I did, finding myself 22 and suddenly single after three years. Ending the relationship was, bar none, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life; I knew that what my ex and I had couldn’t possibly be love because there was so much unresolved anger and so many tears, but I also felt like maybe I should stick it out because, who knows, maybe this is the only chance I’ll ever get. I almost convinced myself that wanting to put my fist through my car’s dashboard every night was a normal feeling.
Travelling to Europe made me realize that yes, those good feelings that come with loving another person and being loved in return will happen again. But it’s not the geographical location that made me realize that, however. It’s all about challenging yourself, finding some experience that will take you out of your everyday role and let you see yourself stripped of others’ opinions and expectations. Get to know what your limitations are. Ask yourself probing questions, about both your own psychological makeup and what you liked and disliked about your former relationship. Eventually you’ll find out which of those thirteen or so criteria are necessary and which ones are just fantasy.
I’m 23 now. And I’m single. But, I’ve realized that people can truly surprise you with their complexities, and that I would hate to think I passed up the perfect girl just because one of my requirements were that she had to be left-handed or something. And that the person who meets all of those standards still might turn out to be madly in love with your best friend or a sociopathic axe-wielding murderer; the world is funny like that.
