Please get a lawyer or a realtor to read this agreement. It is entirely typical for a mortgage agreement to have a provision like this to prevent the loan from being transferred without permission. Such a provision does not prevent the house from being sold.
That’s understood. The goal is not to sell the house, but to pay off or transfer the loan if possible. We’ve asked permission, and are awaiting the seller’s response.
Every fall at start of school, I buy my boy–16yo now–a pair of basketball shoes and those are the only shoes he has to wear winter, spring, etc., unless we need something for a funeral or that. Well, this year, I just figured out that his feet are growing faster! Now I need to get him shoes at beginning of summer instead of in fall, when I budgeted for it.
What I’m wondering is since you’ll probably get a good chunk of change using your present method, if you could send to me just $40 and I’ll get him shoes.
Housewise, we lost ours long ago and had some hefty medical experiences, and such. But we’re doing fine on our own other than this shoe problem coming up. Thank you for sharing with us. I have great wishes for you and your family, too.
You reported this thread with the reason given as “Fund-raising plea” despite the fact that it was stated clearly in sentence #2 that permission was granted.
You post in the current Pit thread about another request so you are obviously aware of the current discussions.
You make this post which a reasonable person could interpret as snarky threadshitting.
All of the above leads me to believe your motivation may be less than pure in this thread. How about you knock it off so no further action needs to be taken?
Very nice chunk of change indeed, and already more than I could have hoped for, from strangers and friends alike.
As it happens I got a $50 Amazon card for my last birthday. I don’t really need anything and I already have enough yarn - since the money I raise is going into my father’s checking account and not mine, just let me know where to send this card and I’ll throw in a handmade scarf. I’d be more than pleased to ensure your boy had decent shoes and could stay warm, too.
One of us is very sincere here.
Have you begun to seek out a mortgage? (I assume for your sister, as you have no income.) Wouldn’t getting qualified now, ease a lot of the pressure your family is under? Everybody could breathe easier knowing, if the fund raising comes up short, or the note holder won’t cooperate, you have a ready ‘Plan B’, in place. And wouldn’t you prefer to know, right now, if that’s an option or not? I know I would.
I worry you’re all putting way too much pressure on yourselves. My thoughts are with you though, wishing you great good luck!
Do return and let us know how it works out, we’re all pulling for you anyway!
My sister (Cait, if I forget to refer to her anonymously) are pulling together all necessary financial paperwork in order to apply for our own small mortgage, yes. She’ll be here over this weekend and we have two appointments with local banks I have done business with in the past. At the same time we have to establish that we would be the inheritors of my father’s property, so that’s something I am encouraging Daddy to help us with. That’s slow going, but he’s assured us that he would do what was necessary.
We like to say we’re prepared to make the tough decisions if we need to. I think we will all be all right no matter what happens - but we would like to strive for ideal outcomes as long as it’s feasible. Cait pledging to move here if needed is HUGE, so I’d do my damndest to make sure it was only temporary. It is a lot of pressure - but I’m not broken yet.
Honestly, I still hold out hope that we have some time to get this all worked out! I will until the day that hope is forcibly removed from my heart. Hoping to avoid sounding too sappy and pander-y…all the well wishes, hopes, prayers, and expressions of support for my family and me mean more than money ever will. Thank you, you’re all helping me to stay strong so I can deal with any of this at all.
Make sure to confirm this. But off the top of my head there is NO reason for him to scramble to pay off his credit cards. That debt is his and his alone.
And it may or may not make sense to scramble to pay off the vehicle or any other bills. You need to check what the consequences would be for not paying those off.
Now, if he is doing this just to be financially upstanding. Good for him. But many of these various folks that are owned money work the occasional not getting fully paid due to death into their cost of services to start with. Now, that’s no excuse to scam the system, but if your financial shit is hitting the fan, don’t pay what you can’t or don’t need to (again, making sure of the consequences of not doing so).
Good advice, and I will add it to my list of ‘things to cajole out of Daddy’. 
The vehicle payoff would be very beneficial if possible. I think the plan we’re currently working under is to pay off the remainder of a 2012 pickup, then sell/trade my car, Cait’s car, and another pickup to either a) obtain more house funds or b) get another decent vehicle. That way my sister and I would both have something reliable and paid-for. The three older cars are still decent, but let’s not be paying insurance on so many, eh?
But I will dig out the Ford Motor Credit paperwork as well. You guys are growing my to-do list, which is awesome!
My larger point is that nothing you have indicated about the mortgage document suggests that it is anything other than a relatively standard mortgage agreement. You have not shown any basis for thinking that the house is actually in some sort of unusual rent-to-own arrangement or that you need a quitclaim deed for some reason. You can confirm this point by checking the county’s property records to see whether your father is recorded as the owner (the holder of the deed).
If in fact your father owns the house, then you may not need the lender’s permission for any reason. Federal law provides that there are some situations where a mortgage lender is barred from enforcing a restriction upon transferring a loan, and a transfer to the borrower’s children is one of those situations. You may be entitled to assume the loan whether the lender consents or not.
You do not know your rights here, and you may be hurting yourself and going to a lot of unnecessary trouble. Please seek out professional advice.
Disclaimer: I am not your lawyer. This is not legal advice and should not be relied upon. This is just anonymous chat.
I’ve redacted and uploaded the only two pieces of paper that we have that outline the contract for sale. I agree that I need to get all of this in front of a legal professional and seek advice on what my options are.
If it helps anyone to understand, or to help ME to understand:
Mortgage Note
Mortgage Deed
You are not my lawyer, and I am not seeking legal advice or taking our discussion as such. This is general advice ONLY, on an anonymous message board.
PropertyShark lists Daddy as the owner. I am taking this as very good news, and also taking it over his head and straight to a legal professional. Thank you, Tom Tildrum. I will go by the courthouse first, and see what it takes to obtain their filed records. I bet they could refer me to some assistance, as well.
I concur. It seems to me that for a 35% LTV a bank, mortgage lender or hell even a hard money lender would have a contract written up, pay the $55,000 and then have a mortgage on the property. Something is just not right here.
This is so incredibly classy. I really hope that you find a way to keep your home, hon.
You need a lawyer. I read the two posts you made and it appears to me that your dad can sell anytime he wants to. It is just that when he does sell the note must be paid in full just like any other property sale.
As to your stays as a caregiver, it seems to me as if SSA allows relatives to receive a stipend for their service paid for by SS. Call SSA and check this out.
As far as your inability to maintain a job due to your health problems, you may be eligible for Social Security yourself. If you feel that your condition is keeping you from gainful employment apply immediately for SS. Most people are routinely denied the first time so be prepared to appeal the initial decision. Most law schools have student manned organizations that represent indigent persons in such appeals. Get to a law school and see what kind of help might be available.
I’m sorry that your Dad won’t get to enjoy his retirement as he should be able to. Hopefully he’ll at least be left with the peace of mind that his daughters and granddaughter are taken care of.
It really is. I doubt I would have responded as politely.
Have you actually applied for help yourself as either a carer or a disabled person? Mortgage companies will be likely to ask, so even if you think you won’t get anything you will have to try.
If you were due to go to college it might be best to matriculate and do your best at the classes, because then you might be eligible for student loans or other help from the college that would provide something that would either help with general living costs or help you have some income when it comes to mortgage applications. I appreciate that this would be a very bad time to start back at college, but your Dad, from the sounds of it, wouldn’t want you to suffer due to his illness. And actually it could really help your mental health to have something else to do, and help both you and your Daddy if you could come back to him on college days and tell him what you did there.
Can your mother not help at all? What about the Grandmother who your father recently moved down? They all want the home to continue, and I think you have very good reasons for keeping it going, but I’m a bit confused about why they’re not in the picture for repayments on any mortgage or at least bills or funeral costs.
In case this sounds hostile, I have donated, and I think your cause is worthwhile because it sounds very difficult even with the others’ help.
You also mention in you gofundme that if there’s any money left over that you’d take your Dad to see Alaska, and I think that’s fair enough for a recently-retired man who worked his whole life, was in a horrible war, raised his family well, and deserves more than early death (especially since perhaps his death wouldn’t be coming so soon if he hadn’t had to wait). Sadly it doesn’t seem very likely that you’ll raise enough but I do think that’s a reasonable use of any theortical extra funds.
Lemme see, I got some 'splainin to do!
@denquixote - I believe you are correct, but it’s simply that selling out is to be a last ditch effort to retain possible value from this homestead. If we can possibly avoid the need to sell, we will. I’d much rather my dad be here at home when the time comes, not in some uncomfortable hospital, yelling at all the nurses.
To my understanding, state-sponsored caregiver support (stipend) comed through the MedicaID program, which my dad is not eligible to receive benefits from. I will look into the SSA for this, though. Bureaucratic nightmare! But worth it, certainly.
It’s not an inability to get a job due to my health, I never left the workforce until last December when things started getting bad. And here we’re addressing SciFiSam, too - I have applied for SSA disability benefits/SSI. I have been turned down once, lost my appeal hearing. Am in my second round of applications with a hearing TBD. Three different law firms have declined to take my case. MS is a tough one, I’ll give them that. If you saw me standing on the street you’d have no idea that there was anything wrong, but actually I’m using all my strength to remain upright, I can’t feel my right leg, and the double vision makes life super interesting. That’s on a GOOD day. The SSA says if there is ANY kind of work that one may do, that applicant will be denied. All I can do is continue the process.
Rather than cut college out of the picture entirely, I have changed my program of study (Tallahassee Community College) to a 100% online A.S. degree. Being a paralegal might be right up my alley, too! And no matter what I graduate with, the GenEd courses (and my remedial math after 18 years out of school) have to be completed first. Any and all monies I receive after tuition, books, and fees (PELL, essentially) will be going into the pot for the house. I am taking student loans, as well. I do have the option of changing back to a traditional course at any time, but online classes will allow me to be here. I don’t really think I need in-person instruction in English and Composition anyhow. 
HOO BOY - The grandma thing. She’s 83, and meaner than a snake. He moved her here after learning she’d been rushed to the hospital three times in 8 days very near comatose. She would take her insulin right on schedule - and then not eat. She fought him tooth and nail, is bitter that her dog-pee soaked trailer got sold, and at the first opportunity (2nd week of December) she went to Charleston to my aunt’s house for Christmas and hasn’t been back. The whole time she WAS here, Dad asked for her to contribute to the household - $300/month out of a $750 SS check to cover room, board, food, utilities - she simply refused. Dad has online access to her checking account, and we see that she’s written 4 $700 checks directly to my aunt. 20 year age difference between Dad and my aunt, and Grandma actually raised his sister. Dad was essentially an in-family foster kid. Long and rather sordid tale there, so I’ll just say my daddy pulled himself up by his bootstraps and did his best to never go back.
My parents are long divorced, and it was bitter. Mom is indeed concerned that we keep a safe place to live, but she’s 67 herself and on SS income, modest part time wages from her job. She supports us, but isn’t able to lend any financial help. We have reached out to some of her family, and the swallowing of pride on Dad’s part for that to happen was commendable.
**
SciFiSam** - Not hostile in the least. I am happy to report that I do intend to start back to school, just nowhere near the way I’d planned. Thank you so, so much for your donation! We’re looking into one of those Alaskan river cruises, it may yet be far out of our reach, but I definintely think he’d enjoy one last adventure.
I’m unsure why y’all can’t do what every other person who wants to keep their Gran’s house does. If most of its paid for why can’t you secure a mortgage to cover the remainder? The payments wouldn’t be onerous if most of the house is paid for surely.
Why the mad scrambling to pay off the balance when you could finance it and stop worrying about losing it?
I know several people who did exactly this to secure a relatives house upon their death. And it seemed to go swimmingly, no scramble, way less stress, and nobody lost the house.
One thing I would look at is how the money is being accounted for. The last thing you would want is for your dad to have all this money and a house and lose it all to medical bills. Have you talked to anyone about setting up a trust for you and your sister and all the money goes there? Also, I believe it is illegal for a mortgage-holder to require a “due on sale” if a home is given to children* but your situation is complex enough and that process needs to be done absolutely correctly so an attorney should handle that part.
*12 USC 1701 j(3)(d)(6)
First and foremost, I’m so sorry that your dad’s diagnosis is so poor. That is really sad.
Now onto the “tough love” part:
I think that starting a fundraising thread and/or a GoFund! me page with a goal of $50,000 so that you can pay off your dad’s house in full was ill-advised. First of all, very few people have the luxury of owning their house outright, especially at your age, so the goal is way too lofty from the get go. People don’t often donate towards something that they can’t even afford themselves. (That’s part of the reason the “Help me pay for my daughter’s $4000 vacation” left such a sour taste in people’s mouths.)
Secondly, $50,000 is an astounding amount of money. That’s a completely unrealistic goal for someone who doesn’t have a huge social network. To boil it down in realistic terms, you’re basically asking 5,000 strangers to donate $10 each. I’d be shocked if you were to get 50 people to donate, not because your cause isn’t worthy but because it’s, sadly, not uncommon. We all know people, good, hard-working people, who are struggling through no fault of their own, and most don’t have substantial equity in the family home to tap into should it become absolutely necessary. The poster whose son needed new shoes was pretty much saying that, albeit not in the nicest of ways.
Personally, I think your fundraising attempt would be more successful, and better received, if you were to change your goal to a more humble and defined goal: “I need $2000 to help pay my dad’s mortgage for 2 months. This will allow me to spend time with him in these last few weeks of his life, and will also buy me time to figure out a game plan to keep a roof over my head once he passes.”
Anyway, that’s my creative advice. I do wish you good luck and strength to deal with your dad’s illness. Having a great dad is far, far better than having a rich dad.