Please help my family keep our home.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Two reasons: creditworthiness and ability to repay. No, we wouldn’t need to take a large loan at all (in house terms). However, I have no credit, never had any sort of credit, never wanted it if I could avoid it, and I have no current source of income. I won’t ever regret the choice I made to become a full time caregiver for my dad, but that’s where it is at this moment. My sister has BAD credit, nearly $35k in charged off debt. She makes a decent living, and could handle the house payments and upkeep, but she’d have to move here from Chattanooga, and there’s no guarantees about her being able to transfer smoothly within her company.

If we can find a lender, and we’re trying, I absolutely agree that barring a payoff, that’s the best solution. She’s on her way to Florida now, and we’ll be speaking with several professionals together on Monday morning.

@SaintCad - The goal is to have me and/or Cait set up as beneficiaries, signatories, Powers of Attorney, whatever we need to make sure that Dad’s estate doesn’t get lost in probate. I also stopped in for some advice this morning at our county property appraiser’s office. I confirmed that the deed is listed solely in my dad’s name, got the name of the underwriting company, and asked about steps to take to add my and my sister’s names to the deed as…survivor? Right of survivorship? Not sure what to call ourselves in this situation. I will also be speaking with the underwriters of the deed to gain any advice and assistance they can offer as far as officially asking/informing the sellers that we are Dad’s heirs and need to inherit the whole package.

I have never had any reason to deal with any of this before, and so all the advice I am receiving is quite valuable to me! Since my MS diagnosis, I had kinda given up on the idea of being a property owner. I am now having to learn so much as quickly as possible, and I came to the right place for that!

62

I agree with what PunditLisa said above; asking for people to contribute $50,000 so you can pay off the mortgage entirely is far too much. Especially as you haven’t even determined whether you and your sister can assume the mortgage or get a new one. PunditLisa offered a more modest goal, of asking for two months worth or mortgage payments. That might be achievable as would asking for contributions towards his funeral expenses.

63

I’m pretty tough, and I’ll take all the love, for sure.

Honestly, I agree with you. I think my thinking was along the lines of “We need a lot of money for all sorts of things - every dollar helps SO MUCH - it can’t hurt to ask - aim high, expect low - etc”. I have tried to avoid going into too much of my personal thoughts here and stick to the facts, but the nitty gritty is I know I have no right to be simply handed the luxury of home ownership. I would say (and in my darkest hours, I remind myself) that there are things I have done for my family to earn some sort of consideration, but I feel overly blessed by the possibility of anything beyond a nursing home in my future.

SO NOT A SYMPATHY PLOY - we simply don’t have much beyond this house in our family, and I have to account for what is slowly but surely becoming a serious physical disability. I’m single, no children, and my sister and niece are my whole support unit, once my parents leave this earth.

And really, we don’t need the whole $50k even to make a payoff. I have reduced the goal to $10k, knowing that if by some pure stroke of luck and generosity hits us and we receive more, a goal won’t stop them. I will also do some editing of my campaign - I mean it when I say I have learned so much from everyone here and don’t think asking for whatever help the boards can give was ill-advised, at all!

If nothing else, that the straits I am floundering in aren’t quite as dire as they seemed when so much was so fresh and raw. Thank you all.

Absolutely. My efforts are ALL to help fulfill his wishes for the end of his life, because he deserves that peace.

64

I need to think and speak to my sister and work on a bit of a rewrite of our actual goals, but for all of you, these are the things we could use help with (that I know of so far) - and most of them are conditional upon circumstances and events.
[ul]
[li]House payoff if at all possible[/li][/ul]
[ul]
[li]Barring payoff, keeping up the payments until we get everything sorted[/li][/ul]
[ul]
[li]Possible funeral/burial expenses (if the VA does not award service-connected benefits, we don’t expect them to in time)[/li][/ul]
[ul]
[li]Fees incurred in the transfer of ownership of assets[/li][/ul]
[ul]
[li]Application fees associated with applying for loans? I think that’s a thing.[/li][/ul]
[ul]
[li]A bit of a rainy day fund for me, in case things go very south.[/li][/ul]

These are just the KNOWNS, but a revision is coming. I agree with you all, I was asking too much, but I assure you - with the best of intentions.

BTW in my attempts at transparency, I am entirely vettable if someone should feel the need. I have no problem proving I am who I say I am, or that this is all very real. It’ll all be public record someday anyway.

65

IANAL and this is not legal advice. It is simply a few idea for you to discuss with a professional in your jurisdiction. And btw, the appraiser is not qualified to answer the questions you are asking, it should (probably) be the county assessor. It needs to be an attorney. I don’t know that I would trust the legal advice from people that have a financial stake. How can you be sure they are not wanting YOU to act in THEIR financial interest. You’re asking the wrong people the wrong questions.

First, see if your dad can quit-claim the property to you and your sister. I believe that you or your dad cannot be forced to pay off the balance. Talk to an attorney about that (see reference to United States Code in a previous post). There might be tax implications because the equity might be a gift. IDK just saying the IRS might be interested as assets move around. If that quit-claim is not the best because of tax reasons or your dad still needs (or wants) to be on the deed , you may be able to simply have your dad quit-claim from himself to himself AND you and your sister as joint tenants with survivorship. The county assessor’s office may be able to help you with this. I just did this in my county and the total cost was the fee for the notary (but my bank did it for free) and the recording fee.

I’m not sure how the underwriter fits into this. Are you talking about the lender? Did someone buy the note? Yes it would make life easier if the mortgage owner gave their approval but I would question if they could legally stop you. Long story short, please stop running around. Spend some $ (I know that’s tough right now but it will be so worth it) and talk to an attorney in real estate law. Have them write up the appropriate paperwork and take that worry off your plate.

Not that this is your best option, but as a last resort you could always look for a hard-money lender. Guaranty they will jump at a chance to lend you money with that LTV. Hell if I had $55K laying around and knew my money was safe because you had so much equity, you better believe I’d be PMing you to discuss terms for the mortgage.

66

SaintCad - everything you said before this quoted part - noted and agreed. I am going to seek out options for legal assistance asap. Thank you. I believe you put into words better than I did what my goal in speaking to the county property assessor’s office was - the method for inheriting without a traditional mortgage lendor. I may be using the wrong word - I was referring to the abstract and title company that drew up the deed. They have no financial interest in the property itself.

Dad agreed with you - he figures worst case scenario that a $55k max risk on a property worth at least $124k (number on the property records from this morning, no appraisal made in 15 years) is a deal worth making for almost anyone. He’s floated this very idea past a few family members who may be able to even keep it all in the family, which is far preferable to the kinds of lenders who might be predatory. With no solutions as of yet, we’re truly exploring all possible avenues.

67

Regardless of unknowns in terms of what the future holds in terms of whether your father will need nursing home care under Medicaid, I would advise him to talk with an estate planning attorney. I would NOT advise him to quit claim his interest to you because of this; Medicaid would disqualify him going back five years to the tune of the value of the gift.

Not sure what you mean in prior posts about “losing” in probate. If you’re saying that you can’t afford the mortgage payments on the place (the lender/mortgage holder (sellers) aren’t entitled to call the loan when the kids are the one inheriting, though they’d be free to foreclose if you couldn’t keep up the payments). I’m not sure why all the talk of needing a new mortgage.

Ask your father to talk with an estate planning attorney.

68

With no job, no savings, and a bad credit score, your options are extremely limited. The one where strangers pay off the house is highly, highly unlikely, so much so that I wouldn’t even consider it as a viable option.

One option that might be open to you is taking in legal roommates. The owners might extend financing to you if you can prove that you will continue to pay the mortgage. A bank might even lend you money if there’s enough equity in the house and you can prove that you can cover the mortgage, property taxes and utilities, but that will undoubtedly require a track record, so you’d have to get on that right away.

If that doesn’t work, I honestly don’t see any other option than selling the home, extracting your half of the equity, and using that money to buy an ADA-adapted home or condo, preferably in a city where you can get work. You’ll have to work since your disability has been denied, so you need to set yourself up for the best chance of landing a job.

Also be prepared for the fact that your sister is probably going to want her half of the equity. You might be able to buy time, perhaps a year, if you appeal to her conscience. But you need to do what you can to repair your credit rating now so that you can qualify for credit.

I know it’s a sad prospect to sell the family home. If it’s any consolation, it happens every day not just because of death, but more commonly because of divorce. If one party cannot afford to buy out the other, the courts will force a sale of the home.

69

OP,

You state that your father’s diagnosis is liver cancer, with “complications” of congestive heart failure and type 2 diabetes. Please know that VA does not recognize liver cancer as due to exposure to Agent Orange. VA does, however, recognize type 2 diabetes as associated with Agent Orange. VA also recognizes ischemic heart disease as associated with Agent Orange.

My question is whether your father had DM11 prior to his diagnosis of liver cancer. (I am not aware that liver cancer causes DM11, but I haven’t done the research. I do believe that DM11 increases one’s risk of developing liver cancer.)

If you want to provide more details of his medical history, I’d be glad to offer advice with respect to his VA claim (either in this forum or a PM). I’m somewhat of an expert in this area.*

In any event, my prayers go out to you and your family.

*29 years claim adjudication/policy

70

A few miscellaneous notes:

Have you talked to your community college’s financial aid office? You sound like a good tuition-waiver candidate.

Check with the office of your state assembly representative, too – they often have an allotment of scholarships to grant to constituents. Mention that you are a “non-traditional” student (that is, not a recent high-school graduate).
Alaska river cruises are very expensive, and the small-ish boats on which they are run are not likely to have good accessibility provisions. An inside-passage or Gulf-of-Alaska (preferable itinerary; you can extend your trip with some land sight-seeing) cruise on a mainstream line can come in at as little as $100/per night/per person. Some even have veteran’s discounts.
The veteran’s burial benefit is not in any way tied to any other service-connected benefits. All you need is your dad’s DD-214. Benefit is described here:

Social Security will also give a small-ish cash allotment.

Endorsement – my parents, both WWII vets, are in Florida National Cemetery in Bushnell, which is lovely (you are not restricted to the closest national cemetery).
Whenever your credit rating comes up, explain that the problem was medical bills. This is a common situation, and lenders, etc, may be willing to bend a little if your payments history is otherwise clean.

71

For a monetary burial benefit, the veteran’s service-connected status does affect eligibility. A veteran must die of a service-connected disability to qualify for the maximum amount. Service-connected death is not required for burial in a national cemetery.

72

You can’t afford the house. If a bank won’t give you a mortgage on it because of creditwothiness and ability to repay, that’s them telling you that you can’t afford the house.

73

I’m not exactly sure either but if I were the OP, I’d be worried about losing the house to pay medical debts after he dies.

74

It’s been a bit of a rough day, so I apologize for the lateness of my reply to some of you. If I miss any important questions here, poke me to clarify if you want! My brain is slightly jelly-like.

“Losing” the ability to have immediate use of funds remaining to my father in all accounts upon his passing. He currently has no will, I currently have no power of attorney, if he goes tomorrow we’re quite screwed. I will not be letting much more time pass before we start getting down to getting everything straight to all our mutual satisfaction - and for me that means being as prepared as possible so that we may enjoy the time that’s left with fewer worries.

[QUOTE=Fallen]
whether your father will need nursing home care under Medicaid
[/QUOTE]

No Medicaid, he’s not eligible. We’re relying entirely on the VA and Medicare for his healthcare.

One of the things I must reiterate is that I am not alone in this venture. My sister and I are 100% on the same page, and comitted to a partnership. We intend to find a way to hold joint ownership of this home. She can afford the monthly mortgage payments, even as they are - and will move to Florida if and when it is necessary to do so.

To my growing understanding, the mortgage contract goes with the house, not with the owner. I think what we need to do is file all paperwork that will establish my sister and myself as the inheritors - and then as long as we maintain payments on the contract, it must be honored by both parties.

So, my dear and very educational friends - I don’t believe we need to pay the mortgage off entirely. That would still be the most ideal thing to have happen, but it’s not feasible (I always say I never stop trying until I find a good reason not to!). That’s not to say that I couldn’t use some money, this is still far from being a simple situation, so to those of you who have been kind enough to offer financial assistance, THANK YOU again, and the goal is still the same - saving our home.

[QUOTE=Cheerful Pessimist]
My question is whether your father had DM11 prior to his diagnosis of liver cancer. (I am not aware that liver cancer causes DM11, but I haven’t done the research. I do believe that DM11 increases one’s risk of developing liver cancer.)
[/QUOTE]

Dad was diagnosed with the diabetes in 2009 or 2010. Several years before any indication of liver problems. I am aware that Hepatocellular Carcinoma is not on the VAs presumptive list for Agent Orange exposed vets, but they have recently added another liver disease and are looking into more, from what I understand. The American Legion rep that did his service-connected disability claim seemed confident that he WOULD be awarded a service-connection, just not WHEN. That’s my major issue - having that in place for Dad will mean all these recently incurred medical bills will be 100% covered, we get the maximum funeral/burial benefit, and won’t have to pull from what we have left of his savings just to have him…ugh I don’t know polite ways to say this…I’d rather his body not languish in some morgue just because we can’t pay for a burial. My only goal there is to make sure he gets the respect in death that he had trouble finding in life.

[QUOTE=FeAudrey]
Have you talked to your community college’s financial aid office? You sound like a good tuition-waiver candidate.
[/QUOTE]

I have not, not for anything like that. Absolutely worth looking into - any help I can get or earn to get me through school is very worth pursuing.

Dad’s the one who mentioned the Alaskan River Cruise, but he’d be thrilled with nearly any option. He’s always had a bit of a fascination with Alaska, and even if we don’t get to go, I definitely hope he’s not stuck in this house for the rest of his life. He has nice strong days too still, so an adventure is still very much in the picture.

[QUOTE=buddy431]
You can’t afford the house. If a bank won’t give you a mortgage on it because of creditwothiness and ability to repay, that’s them telling you that you can’t afford the house.
[/QUOTE]

Thanks man - that’s actually kinda the point of this whole thread. If it was as simple as walking into a bank and taking out a mortgage loan, I wouldn’t need to ask for help. I hope I haven’t come across as so very unworldly - ignorant to the ways and means of property ownership certainly, but lucky to even be ABLE to fight for an opportunity to own a little part of the world for my family.

We can afford to keep the mortgage contract as-is and continue payments. Our concern is how to go about ensuring (with as few hitches as possible) that we are allowed to. Budgets made, input/output understood - that is not an issue. My sister and I are one entity with my father, and we’ll remain as one when he is gone. That’s three of us still who need and desire full rights to this property. My father is hard-headed, and doesn’t act as if he thinks I have any idea what I am talking about (for anything :rolleyes:) but from all your help, and my own research, I’ll come right out and say it - he’s been a bit paranoid, and he spooked us. There’s still A LOT we need to handle, it’ll cost us more than we have at the moment, we need help, but I meant it when I said advice was as good as money any day.

75

Your dad should have no problem establishing service connection for type 2 diabetes. Your AL rep was wrong, however, in that there has been no recent addition of a liver disease.

Here is the current list of diseases recognized by VA as presumptively associated with AO exposure. The only one that may have liver manifestations is PCT (which must develop within one year of exposure to qualify for service connection).
AL amyloidosis

Chloracne or other acneform disease consistent with chloracne

Type 2 diabetes (also known as Type II diabetes mellitus or adult-onset diabetes)

Hodgkin’s disease

Ischemic heart disease (including, but not limited to, acute, subacute, and old myocardial infarction; atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease including coronary artery disease (including coronary spasm) and coronary bypass surgery; and stable, unstable and Prinzmetal’s angina)

All chronic B-cell leukemias (including, but not limited to, hairy-cell leukemia and chronic lymphocytic leukemia)

Multiple myeloma

Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma

Parkinson’s disease

Early-onset peripheral neuropathy

Porphyria cutanea tarda

Prostate cancer

Respiratory cancers (cancer of the lung, bronchus, larynx, or trachea)

Soft-tissue sarcoma (other than osteosarcoma, chondrosarcoma, Kaposi’s sarcoma, or mesothelioma)

Note 1: The term “soft-tissue sarcoma” includes the following:

Adult fibrosarcoma

Dermatofibrosarcoma protuberans

Malignant fibrous histiocytoma

Liposarcoma

Leiomyosarcoma

Epithelioid leiomyosarcoma (malignant leiomyoblastoma)

Rhabdomyosarcoma

Ectomesenchymoma

Angiosarcoma (hemangiosarcoma and lymphangiosarcoma)

Proliferating (systemic) angioendotheliomatosis

Malignant glomus tumor

Malignant hemangiopericytoma

Synovial sarcoma (malignant synovioma)

Malignant giant cell tumor of tendon sheath

Malignant schwannoma, including malignant schwannoma with rhabdomyoblastic differentiation (malignant Triton tumor), glandular and epithelioid malignant schwannomas

Malignant mesenchymoma

Malignant granular cell tumor

Alveolar soft part sarcoma

Epithelioid sarcoma

Clear cell sarcoma of tendons and aponeuroses

Extraskeletal Ewing’s sarcoma

Congenital and infantile fibrosarcoma

Malignant ganglioneuroma

Note 2: For purposes of this section, the term ischemic heart disease does not include hypertension or peripheral manifestations of arteriosclerosis such as peripheral vascular disease or stroke, or any other condition that does not qualify within the generally accepted medical definition of Ischemic heart disease.
IMO, you need to get his treating physician to provide a statement that his liver cancer was caused or exacerbated by his diabetes, and to support that statement with his/her rationale for reaching that conclusion.

76

Perhaps consider having your Dad put you and your sisters name on the title. That way you all own it, (and the outstanding debt!), as partners. There will be a fee, but it will be worth it. When your father passes it does not become part of his estate then. It simply becomes owned by the surviving partners, you and your sister. Then the house is not part of the estate, in case there are taxes on it, etc. My Mother in law did exactly that before she passed and it worked perfectly.

If the house is not part of the estate, my understanding is, it cannot be sold to pay debts. Also I don’t think credit card debt is survivable so your Dad should stop worrying about that one. It will disappear, effectively upon his death, I think.

I wish you good luck, keep us posted! And I hope your Dad gets his Alaskan cruise!

77

Mental confusion can be an effect of liver disease. It’s treatable, but his doctors have to be told that he wasn’t like that before his illness took over.

With regard to the confluence of medical and financial issues, the people to talk to are medical social workers and patient financial counselors. The first, and likely the second, should be on-staff at the hospital where your dad is being treated.

Real estate and inheritance laws vary from state to state. You need to talk to lawyers, bankers, etc, who practice in your state.

The American Legion is a fraternal organization, in no way official. You will be dealing with the VA.

78

This is the one we’re looking into, and pulling all available medical records to see if there is a connection from his time in Vietnam. I will say his initial DX was hepatocellular carcinoma, but from what I read about the eventual effects of PCT on the liver, it can cause fibroid tumors, and cirrhosis, and cancer - which has certainly now happened. There are (as far as anyone can tell) no other cancers in his body, but we’re still checking. I believe the liver DX will be modified or changed based on his upcoming liver-specific MRI tests. He’s also had several issues with skin and sun exposure related issues, some peripheral neuropathy that he says has lasted years and he blew off, and they’re also still working on narrowing down exactly what sort of heart disease he has.

So yes, we’re trying to build a big picture, for our own understanding as well as for his case with the VA.

[QUOTE=elbows]
Perhaps consider having your Dad put you and your sisters name on the title.
[/QUOTE]
That’s what we’re hoping to be able to do, as a first step. Have several people to talk to about that, and gotta cover the costs. I definitely agree that needs to be the next step toward dealing with the house.

[QUOTE=FeAudrey]
The American Legion is a fraternal organization, in no way official. You will be dealing with the VA.
[/QUOTE]
The gentleman we spoke to is installed in the VA Medical Center in Tallahassee. He is an American Legion rep with a mission to act as a patient care advocate on behalf of the State of Florida. Our intention was to speak with the on-site DAV rep, but he’d gone home sick for the day and the AL rep stepped right up to help us, and we’re not picky. We support both organizations.

79

The note says that you are paying 8% interest. The interest plus the original $90,000 is the “aggregate sum”, about double the original amount. Your dad has paid about $130,000, and there is $55,000 outstanding.

The part on the deed that says “in consideration of the aggregate sum named in the promissory note … the mortgagor hereby grants (etc)” means that you do not get title until it has all been paid.

80

After reading the mortgage deed, I’m not so sure the bolded sentence above is correct. If you read the first sentence after THIS IS A PURCHASE MONEY MORTGAGE in the deed, it appears that conveying any interest in the property without written permission from the mortgage holder causes the full amount to come due.

IANAL and I could be wrong.

Time Like Tears, I suspect you would qualify for the maximum Pell Grant for your education (amount depends on its cost). Fill out the FAFSA here. It gives you an estimate immediately.

Hugs.