Well, I never heard the term “Ferberized” before this thread, but that’s what we did with Shayla. It was awful for awhile, but it paid off. Eventually she was down to waking only once during the night, and with that we did the formula-diluting trick. Eventually she came to have no interest in an overnight bottle.
Two other things we did – when she was around Baby B’s age, we were using PediaCare Vapor Plugs every night, and those seemed to be a big help. Eventually, we picked up a white noise machine, just to provide some background to mask our creeky old house’s noises.
It could also be the the vent in his room blows into his crib and wakes him up, or there is a draft coming from the window.
You just never know. My daughter was waking up every night and moving into our bed until we realized the cool air return was probably waking her up, we moved her bed and all was good.
For what it’s worth, every time my son starts teething, he gets terribly congested and has intestinal issues and night waking every 2-3 hours, sometimes every 1-2. When he’s uncomfortable, we usually just have him sleep with us. It allows all of us to get some sleep and he gets the comfort he needs. In general, if he’s not uncomfortable (and not experiencing separation anxiety or some other disruption), he’ll sleep in his crib pretty well.
Whatever you decide to do, just remember - there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for getting a baby to sleep all night. With ours, we just can’t let him cry it out. I don’t agree that it’s the best approach for all babies (though it may work for some), ours is extremely tenacious (we tried it once only, and at the time, he cried for three hours until we couldn’t take it anymore) and if allowed to cry for too long, he’ll throw up.
All I can say is, good luck, try different solutions to find the one that works best for you (giving them all the appropriate amount of time to work, of course) and try to keep your sanity in the meantime.
I went to Target at lunch (didn’t have a chance to hit the bookstore), and the only book they had was the Weissbluth. I really did try to read the part about CIO with an open mind, and I may revisit that in a few weeks if what we’re trying now doesn’t work - I may have to force myself because my stomach went into knots at the part about leaving them to cry for an hour or more. The kid doesn’t cry unless he’s hungry or there’s something wrong (seriously, before this whole ‘hungry’ phase started, he would wake up sometimes in the middle of the night, and talk himself back to sleep. We wait until he’s actually crying before we go get him - we don’t jump up at every fuss because he’s a noisy baby (it freaked me out when he was a newborn because he would cry in his sleep - I’d go over there and he’d be sound asleep). I just want to wait it out a little more and see if this is a growth spurt and if it’ll pass.
I picked up a nature CD at lunch to try, too - I think the white noise may help.
I do appreciate the advice - I’m truly not disregarding the info about letting him cry - I just may need to work up to that and use it as a last resort if all else fails. He’s a pretty good kid - he’ll put himself to sleep without a problem for naps and bedtime, it’s just the night-waking that he has a hard time going back to sleep.
He did cut one tooth about five days ago - it’s still working it’s way out, but we think the hard part’s over with that. The other bottom tooth feels like it’s on the way, but not ready to come out just yet - I’m thinking another week or two, based on how long it took the first one to come out. His teeth really haven’t seemed to bother him, since he hasn’t been cranky or anything with them. But that could be it - we may just need the second tooth to pop through so that he stops waking up.
If you’re not comfortable with CIO, you don’t have to do it. It’s not the only way. We didn’t do it with either of our boys and (if I may brag a little) they both went to bed at 8:30 last night and woke up after 9:30 this morning (although that is very unusual…they’re usually up by about 6:30 or 7). My little guy (10 months) woke up at 7 to eat, but then went right back to snoozing.
Anyway, find a method that works for you. No need to be even more stressed out listening to your babe cry in another room. I was never able to do that, either.
I’m seriously considering sleeping with him in the guest room tonight just to see how that goes. I did co-sleep with him by myself when I visited my parents a few months ago, and that actually went really well - the kid who never napped in the mornings, even at 2 months old, slept for 3 hours right next to me. I’m just a lot more comfortable with it than my husband is.
I also think the sleep deprivation is affecting me more this week because Sunday was my night to get up with him, and if I start the work week tired, I have a hard time recovering.
"I will not let him cry - I just can’t do it - my whole body tenses up when it’s ElzaHub’s turn to get up with him, and he cries longer than a minute or two - I have to get out of bed and help. "
Sounds like this must be your first child. Have a few more and you’ll get over the “can’t let him cry” stage. I felt the exact same way with my first. In fact, to this day when I hear either of my girls cry in the night I still get what feels like an electrical shock running through my body. But after you’ve checked on them and made sure they are not hungry, poopy, dropped their “lovey” or whatever, then you really can let them cry a little. They’ll be OK.
For my sleep strategy I used the book “On Becoming Babywise” (recommended by a mommy friend) and it worked like magic. But if you can’t bear to allow your child 10-15 minutes of tears then it won’t be the plan for you.
Since he was diagnosed with reflux, we actually had been putting cereal in his bottles from about 7 weeks on (it’s also why I mostly stopped breastfeeding - he refused to nurse from about 2 1/2 months on because it hurt, and pumped milk couldn’t be thickened with cereal, and plain breastmilk hurt him). We stopped that a few weeks ago because his reflux has improved. We actually did try that again last night to see if that’s what was going on, but the waking was exactly the same as it was when he has regular bottles. We’re also trying to transition him back to regular formula - he’s been on a ‘gentle’ formula that’s more broken down, so it’s digested quicker, so we’re slowly moving back to regular formula as his reflux has gotten better, which takes longer to digest. (But his thickened bottles always had the gentle formula, so we know it’s not just a matter of the formula digesting faster).
That’s a really long-winded explanation of my kid’s feeding issues, but thanks:). We were actually hoping that would be the magic key last night.
While my husband was out of town last week and the week before, I co-slept with our little one and he was out for about 8 hours at a time (he slept for the first few hours in his crib since I wasn’t ready to go to bed at 7:30 p.m.). I was nervous at first, but it worked REALLy well. He fell asleep on top of me but rolled off within 15 minutes to sprawl next to me on the bed. I just stacked up some firm pillows on the empty side of the bed so he’d have a barrier between him and the floor.
Your mileage may vary, of course. I hope everything works out well for you - it stinks being so sleep deprived. Our son had really bad congestion last night (teething again, so he was also covered in drool) and I was up with him for about 3 hours because he’d cry every time I put him down. It was torture, but I finally got him back to bed…about two hours before I had to wake up for work.
There is, however, a limit to the number of methods available. They are all some mix of:
Address any root cause (always a good idea, but harder to do than it sounds - if my daughter woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep at night, she had an ear infection. Almost every single time - after she started sleeping through the night - which was later than six months. My ped said it was scary how i could catch them early before she had a fever. I never thought so - it was pretty simple - if I didn’t sleep, she had an ear infection.)
Give them physical comfort - either stay in the room with them, rock them, let them sleep in your bed, or do something else. The question with this one is “how much can you take” in addition to what your kid responds to. Lucky Mom who can rub a back for 45 seconds and walk out the door. The lazy mom’s way of physical comfort is co-sleeping - if your husband won’t go for it, find a twin bed and move it to Baby’s room. In the middle of the night, you and baby can sleep there.
Cry it out - once again - how much can you take and what does your kid respond to. Some kids - cry it out works great - a few nights, no extended crying and then learn to go to sleep by themself. Others are more stubborn.
Drug em. Not advised, but its amazing how well a breastfed baby usually sleeps if Mom has had a glass of wine or when baby has a cold and is on Benedryl. A health food store will have a “calming herbal” of valarian and something else. I wouldn’t give it to a five month old though - but we’ve had luck with our seven year old with valarian - she can have a hard time winding down at bedtime.
Distract them. Never worked with my kids, but some parents get by with crib toys or music or white noise. Actually, books have worked fairly well once they’ve gotten a little older.
He’s been napping at the sitter’s for 2 1/2 - 3 hours in the afternoon. I know all of the books say ‘sleep begets sleep’, but they don’t have my kid. She let him sleep for two hours yesterday afternoon and woke him up (he also had an hour long morning nap). We got him home, and instead of feeding him around 6:15 and putting him to bed at 7, we waited to feed him. He actually napped a little from 7 - 7:30, then we woke him up and fed him. He stayed up and played for a few minutes, and went down to bed at 8 PM. He slept from 8 PM until 5 AM :D. Then he woke up to eat, and went right back down for another hour and a half. I did have to get up twice when he was fussing - once because he’d rolled himself over, and once because his pacifier fell out, but as soon as I’d gotten him situated and put the paci back in, he was out both times.
I’m not getting too excited because I know it could change tonight, but I think we’re on the right track. I really think he might just have been getting too MUCH sleep - even shortening his naps, and keeping him up an hour longer, he’s getting more than the recommended amount of sleep for a baby his age. And he’s not cranky at all - he’s still quite happy no matter what time of day it is. Plus, I think he was eating too much - he was in the habit of eating when he got up in the middle of the night (partly our fault, but he really wouldn’t go back down without eating), so it may have been bugging him. Now we’re back down to his normal 28-34 oz of formula a day, plus with starting solids, he’s right where he should be.
Tonight, I might actually get 6 or 7 uninterrupted hours of sleep since it’s ElzaHub’s night to get up with him, and if it’s just a matter of putting his paci back in, I can snuggle back under the covers without really waking up.
FWIW - Here’s my experience with 3 kids under my belt -
All children go through periods of sound sleep and fitful sleep as they grow and develop. So a baby that sleeps through the night at 6 months may wake once or twice at 9 months, sleep through at 10 months, wake up 3 times at 11 months…
Probably parents credit something they’ve tried to when their baby sleeps through the night when in fact the baby was just going through normal development and would have started sleeping through anyhow.
When my oldest was 8 months old (and waking in the middle of the night like clockwork), we tried the “cry it out” method. She cried for 5 minutes the first night, a 20 second “waa-waa” the second and that was it. It didn’t “cure” her waking in the middle of the night, however. She’s always been a fitful sleeper and still wakes up in the middle of the night with insomnia at 20 years of age.
My second would wake up in the middle of the night and just stay awake. Eventually I started doing this: Get up and feed her when she woke up. Take her to my bed (she was over 6 months and too big to crush), turn out the light and go back to sleep. Perhaps she stayed awake for hours, listening to my snores. Perhaps she went to sleep herself right after I did. I have no way of knowing, I was sound asleep at the time. I do think I modeled sleeping when it’s night and it’s dark. At 17, she now sleeps like a log.
