Oh, a timely bump of this thread…
I just got back from (duh duh DUH duuuhhh) Orlando (Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure), and spent the week dodging these gits. In the vast amounts of time spent waiting for them to GETTHEFUCKOUTOFTHEWAY!, I came up with a theory…
There’s now a hybrid of sloths and humans that are infiltrating the world’s population…
Here’s what I think’s happening…the sloth/humans travel in large groups; unable to think and reason on their own they must commiserate nearly constantly to make sure they don’t fall off the edge of the world or something. They have to stay in the exact middle of the way through and cover as much of it as possible to keep the concrete from flying up and swallowing them. It’s very hard for them; they waddle ten steps, then the whole group stops, then they commiserate again. I couldn’t understand their sloth/human pidgeon, but I from the body language, I think it went something like this:
“OK, whew, that’s ten steps! Whatever shall we do now?”
“Wait! I don’t understand! Why are we walking?”
“We have to keep the concrete from flying up around us, duh!”
“OK, everybody ready to do ten more steps?”
“Ummmm, I don’t know, do you think it’s possible?”
“Of COURSE it’s possible; we’ve been doing it all morning.”
“Yeah, but why?”
“To keep the concrete from flying up, that’s why!”
“Hey, why don’t we walk over there to the right, in the shade?”
“BLASPHEMER! You KNOW we must never leave the center of the way through!”
“OK, OK, everybody, let’s do 10 more steps!”
“What’s the dang hurry; we’ve got all day, and we’re the only people here, as far as I can tell”
“Well, maybe there’s something interesting up ahead”
“Yeah, like the edge of the world…I’m staying put!”
“No, no, we have to see some of the, um, what are we doing here?”
…and so on.
And yes, apparently the left lane of I-95 is the only safe place for sloth-brains to drive, as well.
I’m going to die of a fucking heart attack cursing sloth/humans with artery-pounding vitriol. :mad: