I can’t take it any more! The two major offenders at this moment is a Quiznos commercial and one from Burger King. Come to think of it, these two
companies have pissed me off before. Quiznos with those strange gremlin type things and Burger King with the creepy king peeking in windows and shit.
I have nothing against the voice actors who perform these commercials but are they trying their best to out baritone James Earl Jones or what?
Also Hardees with the loud crunching noises when biting into one of their burgers, fuck you!
Yes, I had a bad day at work, but I feel much better now.
We are known as Basso Profundo, and fuck you right back. That is how we sound. It is bad enough that the vast majority of modern music sounds ridiculous when we try to sing it, now you want to take away commercial announcements too? Girly- voiced dick.
Yeah, go listen to NPR for awhile. An hour of Ira Glass and his droning, sound-alike pipsqueak pals will have you yearning for a little throatiness in your on-air personalities.
If you’re one of the lucky ones who hasn’t seen the newest Quizno’s commercial featuring a pair of nuclear holocost rodents singing and playing the guitar, consider yourself lucky. I don’t know who thought these minature monsters would make people want to run out and buy sandwiches. They make me want to retch.
Seriously, they look like something you might see on a PETA flyer. You know those shocking photos undercover operatives manage to get that graphically depict lab rats in various states of living disassembly?
If Quizno’s was going for furry and cute, they missed by a longshot. What they ended up with was night of the living roadkill.
If that wasn’t bad enough, you ought to hear the voiceover. Loud, screeching confused lyrics. You can almost feel the pain of cosmetic products being rubbed into their eyes while they were in those animal testing labs.
I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since I saw that commercial, and I don’t think I’ll ever eat at Quizno’s again. I’ll just keep watching that conveyor-belt toaster, expecting bleeding rodents to come scurrying out.
Go to Quizno’s home page and have a look. If you’ve got a cast iron stomach and won’t be eating for several more hours, click on the furry little mutant rodents to see (and hear) them in action.
Well, the Quizno’s commercial is voiced by Michael Clarke Duncan, and if its any consolation he isn’t faking it, his voice really is that deep pitched. I think the greater sin is his furtherance of the Rachel Ray term “sammies” into the wider lexicon. If he starts talking about how their sandwiches are made with the finest EVOO, I’m heading down to the studio with an elephant gun.
[QUOTE=Loach]
No they are not being used in commercials. The Spongmonkeys existed before the commercial. They come from a website named rathergood.com.
[/QUOTE]
I used to think that was ill-advised, until Dairy Queen did that thing with the models from that 2girls1cup site.
[QUOTE=Acid Lamp]
We are known as Basso Profundo, and fuck you right back. That is how we sound. It is bad enough that the vast majority of modern music sounds ridiculous when we try to sing it, now you want to take away commercial announcements too? Girly- voiced dick.
[/QUOTE]
It’s cool Acid
Like I said I had a bad day. I’m sure they would do well trying to get the whole Barry White "thing " down. I blame the commercials themselves not the voice talent.
And I knew that baritone was the wrong term for that type of range, I had a brain cramp.
Don’t worry about it. I get a little touchy because bassos are always typecast as the generic evil villain, or “the movie announcer guy”. Dammit I have more of a range than providing back up to some dork who sounds like a eunuch when I sing as well. Just isn’t much of a market for it though, sigh.
[QUOTE=flurb]
Well, the Quizno’s commercial is voiced by Michael Clarke Duncan, and if its any consolation he isn’t faking it, his voice really is that deep pitched. I think the greater sin is his furtherance of the Rachel Ray term “sammies” into the wider lexicon. If he starts talking about how their sandwiches are made with the finest EVOO, I’m heading down to the studio with an elephant gun.
[/QUOTE]
Amen, my brother!
Deep man-voices may be “hawt”, but deep man-voices talking about twee “sammies” are definately NOT.
Instead of an elephant gun, though, I recommend we team up to drop 'em into boiling water and use an immersion blender to puree them into “stoup”.
Not only do I hate hearing super deep voices saying stupid words(otherwise they’re lovely), but I distinctly hear a slight lisp in the Quiznos commemrcials. Not sexy. Or appetizing.
[QUOTE=astro] The lovemaster disagrees.
[/QUOTE]
Okay, that was funny. But what does it have to do with the issue at hand? You’re not calling that a deep voice, are you?
I cannot tell you how much I hate the word “sammies” - I’ve never seen the ads on TV, but when I saw it in the print ad, I vowed never to eat there again.
[sub]not that I really ate there often to begin with[/sub]
[QUOTE=scout1222]
I cannot tell you how much I hate the word “sammies” - I’ve never seen the ads on TV, but when I saw it in the print ad, I vowed never to eat there again.
[/QUOTE]
I can barely tolerate “sammich” and hate “sammie.” What I really hate is “veggie.” And of course every fast food type place that even offers a vegetarian alternative calls it the “veggie”-whatever.
I’m sure they would do well trying to get the whole Barry White "thing " down. I blame the commercials themselves not the voice talent.