Barrels, thanks for sharing. You sound very similar to me as well.
I’m back from the doctor. I still plan to see the neurologist to have testing done upon the advice of my therapist, but my PCP agreed with the assessment of my therapist and me. I am now on my regular dose of Prozac, in addition to Strattera. I’ve started at 40 mg, will move up to 80 mg next week and go back to my PCP in three weeks.
I know Strattera’s not a stimulant, so I’m not expecting a miracle in a day. I suspect she doesn’t want me on a stimulant medication due to my prior experience with addiction, but she’ll try it if the Strattera doesn’t work. Even though I know that Strattera’s not a stimulant, I feel somewhat jittery after taking it. I’m guessing that’s why she wanted me to start with a smaller dose and increase it after a month.
I’m also going to go pick up those books at Borders tonight with DH. I want him to go with me.
I feel like I’ve got a handle on this now, I’ve learned what the deal is, now I need to find the tools to learn to handle my life every day as it comes. And I can do that.
If you’ve just started taking Strattera, then the jittery feelings are psychosomatic; the drug just doesn’t take effect that quickly. When I took it I felt a distinct jump in my mood about a week later, although it may have been two. It didn’t do much for my attention, however, and I ultimately had to quit taking it.
I don’t know what you were addicted to, but I’d be surprised if addiction to stimulant meds would be a real issue. You don’t get high from Ritalin. Concerta is longer lasting and much more mellow, and nigh impossible to abuse; e.g., you can’t crush it up and sniff it; yet it’s more-or-less the same drug as Ritalin.
You need to talk to someone, as I mentioned above. The reason is so that you can have somebody monitor you and see whether you’re making progress. It’s quite hard to tell, to be honest. I’ve been taking different meds in different quantities since about '94, and it’s been a long process learning to tell whether anything is making a difference. If you have a spouse or co-worker who can do that job, that’d be a Very Good Thing.
The only drug I’ve had success with is Ritalin/Concerta. But the mood effects of Strattera were wonderful—unfortunately it made me puke and get loopy in the head.
Well, neither labelling yourself as a “lazy bastard”, nor declaring that you have ADD is very useful unless it leads to some way of addressing the problem. The point isn’t the label; that’s just a useful hook to hang the statement of the problem upon. The correct attitude is to use that pathology (if it is correct) to determine what methods and measures would be most effective for you to overcome your lack of initative, inattention, et cetera.
In a way, the medicallization of “mental health” has been as much a hindrance as a boon; while it allows for a more scientific approach to the problem of social and neurological problems, it also brings with it the disease model which argues that every set of symptoms is the result of a discrete pathology stemming from a single root cause (bacteria, virus, cancer, trauma, whathaveyou). Even in medicine this is a somewhat tenuous and misleading notion; with regard to the misfunctioning of that poorly understood mass of gooey grey circuitry in your gulliver the model is constraining and often inapt. People and their “disorders” don’t generally fit neatly into the categories that are somewhat arbitrarily laid out in the DSM, and trying to wedge a patient specifically into one or two easily defined categories often results in a blindness or oversimplification of their actual problems. I liken it to orbital mechanics; it’s impossible to formally describe a general n-body (many objects) system, but if you make enough simplifications and assumptions you can come to a reasonable approximation…provided you don’t forget to calculate the influence of one of the major bodies. Calculating the Earth’s orbital path about the Sun is pretty easy, and accurate enough for anyone who doesn’t work for JPL, but trying to calculate the Earth’s orbit with regard to the common barycenter of the Solar System is fiendishly difficult even using approximation methods.
So, if the label seems to fit it gives you a starting point to look at what to change. Just don’t use it as an excuse not to change anything.
Heh. This is me, to a T. I’m not a big impulsive spender but I’m dangerous at the bookstore, and I’ve more books checked out of the library right now than I’ll possibly be able to finish before their due dates.
Well, the general theory is that ADD is a result of your mind cruising along at a higher speed than your environment provides stimulation for; sort of like an engine that isn’t getting enough air. By finding something that engages you mentally (an intricate task, an energetic activity, a daydream) or creating an environment that is more kinetic (hyperactivity, disruption, social discord) you satisfy the need for the requisite stimulation. It’s the difference between walking down a flat, level sidewalk and bouldering across a treacherous mountainside; in the latter, you don’t have time or energy to be bored.
Structure is one thing that people with attentional problems crave, and yet, have difficulty enforcing. One of the things I like about Hallowell’s approach (despite some of my misgivings about some of his claims) is that he doesn’t focus specifically on the pharmaceutical treatment and acknowledges that the drugs don’t help everybody, or sometimes have unacceptible side effects. Certainly, many people in the past have gone about without the advent of chemical treatment, and while its kind of foolish to speculate on which historical luminaries may have had ADD, there are definitely many successful and renowned personalities who have displayed ADD-like traits and yet accomplished great things. Diet, exercise, structure, et cetera may be just as effective, if not moreso, than drugs; but it all depends on the individual.
I do. I have a therapist who I see once a week, and will continue to see as long as he’ll have me. We began through my treatment for addiction, and have continued since. I think it helps that we seem to hit it off as friends, or at least, I can talk to him like he’s a friend. He’s been incredibly helpful. I’m also going to visit the neurologist upon his recommendation.
I suspected it was psychosomatic - I tend to do that. The Prozac didn’t have that effect - it took a week before I felt a change, but the Paxil did feel that way the first week - I felt somewhat jittery and affected by it after 1-2 doses. I’ll just see how it goes. I’ve been burned in the past by Paxil, so I’ve always been hesitant to try a drug that builds up in my system, but my doctor seems to have confidence in Strattera. I see her again in three weeks, so we’ll see.
I just feel a lot more hopeful now. I feel like I have a chance to understand why my brain is working like this and I can work to fix it.
Digging in usually works. I mean a deliberate and unwavering focus and dedication to the task at hand. When mental panic or chaos ensues, I redouble the effort. It’s kind of like wrestling my own brain into submission. It’s draining but rewarding in many ways. Trouble is, it can’t be accomplished in a group setting. I work alone and don’t communicate the details until the task is complete.
Stopping to explain or answer questions is entirely distracting unless I know the task by wrote. Often I suffer from vocabulary loss. I know I need the chuck bit key but I’ll be damned if I can articulate the need to an assistant.
The devil is in getting myself into that frame of mind. Damn near impossible.
So you see, since I know I can, at times, will myself into accomplishing the task, not doing it because of the sheer effort required makes adopting the *idle bastard * label seems almost apt.
OK, so I now know why I slept only four hours last night. I’ve been on Strattera for about two weeks, and every morning I feel like I swallowed a hedgehog. I haven’t noticed anything different about my moods, except that I have less patience with my three-year-old, but I think that is mostly due to my lack of sleep. And his innate three-year-oldness.
I agree with this completely. It’s extremely difficult to evaluate what effects the meds are having on you. There are many things that friends, family members, or a good therapist will notice that you won’t.
Hello again twin The first and last paragraphs sound familiar to me, but it’s the middle one that really stands out as matching me to a t - The TV is on, because I like to listen to what’s going on, and so I can check out what else is happening when I’m busy reading the forums or playing a game or whatever. Yes, I’ll come out to switch channels even if I’m not watching it actively, because I’m bored with what’s on. I’ll also come out and watch him playing the PS2, or just wander around for a bit before settling back down on the 'puter again. I can never settle on one TV channel, I always have to know what else is on the other channels and it drives hubby nuts. He’ll take the remote away from me, then watch me fret each time the ads come on and I can’t go and see something else at that time…
FWIW, I used ritalin for 1 year as a kid. You would have no problems identifying which year it was, based on my grades.
I know it’s supposed to be an attention disorder but I could force myself to concentrate if need be. The problem for me was the level of comprehension. If the subject matter was new (like statistics), I had problems with the lingo. I remember reading the same paragraph over and over and over in college and was really frustrated at my skills involving new concepts because the words didn’t sink in. For me, when things click, they click in a big way.
Currently, the popular drug for college kids is Aderal. It is purchased illegally for the purposes of learning quickly.
Yeah, you may want to give your doc a call and ask about it. It’s probably just coincidence since a fairly small proportion of people actually get side effects; however, asking the doc about it will definitely be good for your peace of mind and for keeping track of what you’re experiencing.
When I first started taking Ritalin I was also put on Prozac. I’ve found that my patience goes way, way down when I’m not taking it. When I go off it, I get really annoyed really quickly.
Hey Elza thank you for this thread. I’ve known for years that I’ve had ADD, but refused to medically address it. It’s now become a huge problem with work, but I still haven’t been to the GP or the psychiatrist yet.
I haven’t done it because I didn’t want to admit that there was something wrong with me. I didn’t want to let myself be diagnosed and treated becasue it seems like such an out. Emotionally my brain tells me I’m just lazy and it’s stupid to think that there’s a special diagnosis out there just for me, but logically I know damn good and well that anything would be beneficial and I simply can’t take care of it on my own.
And then there’s the part of me who simply thinks my choice of career (office/desk job) is the problem. I think ADD in part allows me to think differently than most people. I think outside the box and I’m damned brilliant when it comes to doing things I enjoy. I’m worried this will go away if I get treatment. Any thought on this?
I have to force myself to avoid distraction. That usually means sequestering myself in a room or office and organizing the work I have to do. That in itself is a challenge because I begin to agonize over how to segment/separate the tasks into manageable chunks. If that weren’t enough, I catch myself trying to figure out what colour folders they should go in and if the folder colour is representative of the nature of the task. (WTF? :smack: )
So the organization alone is a challenge. Then it’s starting the sub-tasks. Which one first? Then, while tackling the taks at hand I begin to automatically analyze impact to the other subtasks and realize that I may not have classified them correctly and perhaps I need to re-organize. Before I know it, time has flown buy, the deadline is approaching and all I’ve done is compartamentalized the work without actually getting it done. Then I’m overwhelmed by the work itself because time is passing, the problem looms bigger than I originally thought and panic sets in.
I’ve learned that the panic is not a reflection of the complexity of the task but my obsession with the details. Taking a step back and breathing helps me refocus. Going off to do something else sometimes helps but not with a deadline approaching. When I’m under a time constraint, nothing but shear force of will and fear of failure gets me to forge on ahead. Often, before I know it, I’m well into the work and making progress.
Sounds like you’ve got a problem one way or the other.
I doubt you’ll ever get rid of the feeling of being lazy; I know I haven’t and it’s been eleven years. But it does put it into a frame of reference that makes it easier to deal with. Some things, like the document scanning I mentioned earlier, I ultimately admit (with a sense of shame, I confess) that I just ain’t wired for that job. I asked our receptionist to do it for me. She does it, it’s easy for her.
If you’re in a workplace where people are understanding and give a shit, then a bona fide diagnosis & meds will really help because you’ve got a way to communicate your quirky problems with simple tasks, a way to explain why you need some distraction-free time during the day, and why some days you might as well leave early and some days you want to stay late.
YMMV.
QuickSilver, you’re light years ahead of me, man! Congrats on that!!
The first and last paragraphs sound familiar to me, but it’s the middle one that really stands out as matching me to a t - The TV is on, because I like to listen to what’s going on, and so I can check out what else is happening when I’m busy reading the forums or playing a game or whatever. Yes, I’ll come out to switch channels even if I’m not watching it actively, because I’m bored with what’s on. I’ll also come out and watch him playing the PS2, or just wander around for a bit before settling back down on the 'puter again. I can never settle on one TV channel, I always have to know what else is on the other channels and it drives hubby nuts. He’ll take the remote away from me, then watch me fret each time the ads come on and I can’t go and see something else at that time…