Skerri, I’ll give you three, none of them mine, more’s the pity.
Oldest and longest first. He was an engineer from Lancashire, England working for the BBC. She was about the youngest of their group of friends, still in her teens. I get the impression he saw her as sort of a tag-along until one weekend when they needed one more person to make up a group to go sailing. Someone suggested her. She was upper-middle class from Surrey, and her father did not consider anyone from north of the Thames to be truly civilized, so they waited until she was 21 before they married. A few years later, he asked her to leave her friends and family behind and move to America. She wasn’t at all sure about the proposition, especially with two kids and one on the way, but she agreed. They’ve now been married over 40 years and she has close friends in both America and England, including some who go back to her childhood. They are still very much in love with each other, even though they do sometimes drive each other nuts. They’re well balanced in wit and spirit, and I love them dearly. I should; they’re my parents.
Next couple. I’ve talked about them a few times here. He was a country bumpkin from southwest Pennsylvania; she was upper-crust Baltimore society. He met her at a church get-together. As I’ve described it, he found her one night and Jesus the next. He was in the Navy at the time, a tall, skinny, uptight kid who wouldn’t even swear. There were times when she would just need to retreat from the world and “go blue blanket” but he always knew how to find her and comfort her. He was assigned to Puerto Rico, but they stayed friends and kept in touch by mail. Over the years the friendship deepened, until one day, friendship turned into love. He came to Baltimore to see her, and, despite her parents’ disapproval, they were married in true society fashion. It took a lot of adjustment for both of them. One of my favourite stories of the early days of their marriage concerns the time he noticed one of their knives looked a bit bent. He thought he must have damaged it himself, so he took a lot of time and worked very hard to straighten it out. Sometime laer, he was surprised to hear her ask what happened to the grapefruit knife. 
He’d never seen one before them. It hasn’t always been easy. They’ve been through strains which would tear a lesser marriage apart. Still, I’ve had the privilege of calling these two friends for over three years now. At first I was nervous. I get along with men better than women as a rule, and I am closer to him than her. I was worried about her seeing me as a threat to the marriage. Then I got to know them better and see the love and devotion between them. I could no more damage their marriage than I could tear down a mountain with my bare hands. About a month ago, I got a late night call from him. She’d had a stroke. I heard the fear in his voice, and I did what I could to reassure him while he wondered if he’d have to live without her. He’s never loved anyone but her, nor could he picture marrying anyone but her, and she feels the same way about him. They’ve been married over 25 years now, with a daughter who’s as wonderful and unique as they are. She’s back home, and I’m so glad they’re getting to spend time together. These two are two of my closest friends.
Now for the newest, my best friend and her husband. She met him while we were in college, over a decade ago. I still remember a time when we were walking across campus and she turned to me and asked, “Do you think it’s possible to love someone too much?” I knew who she was talking about, so I answered, “For you, no.” It took a long while to sort things out. First she wanted to get her Masters Degree, then came a time when they were working in different states, and even one point when he was working in Germany while she was in Indiana, I think. I lost touch with them after I moved to Hawaii and dealt with my own share of issues. Finally, a few years ago, she got the best Christmas present ever – an engagement ring from him. She came over that afternoon, and her feet weren’t touching the ground. The next day both of them came to a Boxing Day Brunch at my parents’ place, and his feet weren’t touching the ground either. They were finally married about a year and a half ago, but there has never been anyone for her but him. I spoke to him this evening, and he is still amazed that this wonderful, amazing woman has chosen to spend her life with him. He doesn’t think he’s worthy of her, but then again, neither do I. By the way, Skerri, they live about 250 miles away from me now, but trust me, when she and I get together, even on the phone, it’s like we’re back in high school, but a lot more fun!
With all three couples, the love between them is almost palpable. The relationships are well balanced and all six have been through hard times, but for all of them, their marriage matters most. The first two were somewhat unlikely pairings, and like I said, in both cases the brides’ families did not approve, but they’ve produced strong, beautiful marriages between true equals, regardless of social status.
I haven’t had the privilege of marrying yet, perhaps because I do consider it too important to take lightly. At the risk of sounding like a complete romantic, it is nice having three examples of good ones surrounding me. I’m acutely aware of how much work it takes, but some things are well worth working for. I only hope I do as well as these three when my turn comes.
CJ
