Please VOTE!! in the SDMB Poetry Sweatshop, June, 2013 Edition - Anthology Thread!

Cafe Society
1

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Anthology Thread of the SDMB Poetry Sweatshop, June, 2013 Edition. A quick recap of the rules -

On Thursday, June 27th at 9:00 AM EDT, I selected three words at random and placed them in an out of office auto reply message at the e-mail address sdmbpoetrysweatshop at gmail dot com. Anyone interested in participating could send an e-mail message to that address. When the auto-reply arrived, they then had one hour to write a poem - any style, form, length, rhyme scheme (or no rhyme.) - but the poem had to incorporate those three words.

This is the anthology of the poems produced so far. In a little under an hour, I will start a multiple choice poll. You may vote for as many poems as you choose, and no special knowledge is required. Whatever poem resonates with you, call it your favourite and give it a vote.

I’ll set the poll to run for 8 days - at the end of that time, whichever poem has the most votes will earn its author the honour of being called the ‘Poet Laureate of the Straight Dope’ for a time.

In addition to voting, readers are encouraged to comment on the poems. This is an extremely valuable aspect of the Poetry Sweatshops - poets’ communications with their readers tend to be restricted to rejection letters from editors. This is a rare chance to hear directly from our readers. SDMB members have a long history of providing positive, constructive criticisms in these threads, and it is of great worth to the poets.

And now, the poems. The poets’ names can be found in the spoiler box at the bottom of each post. Don’t be mislead by the fact that they are all posted under my user name - only one of these poems is mine.

The three words are -
Present
Passing
Completer

Please - read, savour, enjoy and above all - vote and comment!

2

Does
the Kaleidoscope
Mourn
the
Passing Pattern

or

Rejoice
in the
Jeweled Dance?

But that’s an old one.
Complete.
Behind me.

From a time
When I read
Blue Mountain
From the rack
With the future
Strapped to me
Holding me back.

Long, thin lines
in blank
Snaking
Down
The page
Seemed

Significant.

That was the past.
This is the present.

The frog
Now dances
At Safeway
An hour
Away

But I won’t be seeing the frog today
I’ll be seeing an old friend
In the same area
(Don’t tell him.)

She has the complete set
And more
Of the Community Cable shows
We taped
Way back.

Not as far back
As the Passing Pattern,
But far enough.

We will be sorting and organizing the tapes,
Converting
Them
To Digital.
So the set
Will be
Completer.
More available.
Home
Editable.

I assume it will be a pleasant and interesting day.
But I need to shower now, or I’ll be late.
waves

Does
the Kaleidoscope
Mourn
the
Passing Pattern?

or

Digitize
them for
YouTube?

Yllaria

3

Knowing you will push me
for clarity, why not just jack this whole
steamy contraption off its trestle
and flag down your own passing

transport. If I attempt some sort of citrine
revelation, an all encompassing
present to burn down your stunned
economy, I expect to be
forgiven. Not by ecclesiastical

wager, but in the way we always
toast doubt with a companionable
clink and then agree to push
the planchette around the board.

You may be an enlightened peer,
a completer to the set of polar sequels
to faith, but I am still your artless
apprentice, sworn to strike the fantastic
from my own grimoire of odds.

koeeoaddi

4

They say in passing, “No time like the present!
But as soon as it’s said, that present is gone.
No time like the present, unless you are passing
As once dead, we know that presence is gone.

Like a song that erupts from nowhere
Melody, lyric and heartfelt beat
From unseen vibrations, rippling the air
Invisible earworms, quite a feat.

From nowhere to nowhere
A song starts and it ends
Heard only by those there
Does it live? Does it end?

We think we are special
We’re alive and we’re here
But after our song ends
We’re another completer.

No befores and no afters
Just the here and the now
Sing your song to the rafters
Ignore the why and the how

Simple rule, simple life
Do it right, don’t do wrong
Let it loose, don’t be stife
Sing your song, then you’re gone.

DMark

5

Passing the present to Peter,
did nothing to truly complete her,
so she took it back
then gave it to Jack,
and now she’s feeling completer.

Trinary

6

Here in the present, awestruck, we tread this hallowed ground,
but so do those who fought and died here, a century and a half ago;
Yankee and rebel, but still Americans, and even now no less than we,
passing us on the trails, dust on their boots, glancing down to see
their names etched on row upon row of graves, a last link to mortality
Look! there, onward, the serried ranks of the gallant dead
and above, the hum of the locusts and the murmuring of the wind
through the lofty heights of history-crowned trees
'neath a brilliant Pennsylvania sun, fiery witness to all wars;
but it knows that there is something about this place,
something incalculable,
invaluable.

Green fields, gray stones, and enduring memories of the fallen
the men, both blue-clad and grey, who fought here for three days, struggling
to define what this broad land was, what it might be, what it would be today
no mere alliance, no pact, but a republic, once riven but now, for all its faults,
indivisible, a more perfect union, their sacrifice our birthright,
a promise fulfilled, a people freed, a nation redeemed under that starry flag,
a completer domain of liberty for all who now flock to see these hills,
but my friends, can you not see those soldiers, and know
that their task is now our own?

Elendil’s Heir

7

Between each pair
of passing present
moments, The Completer

ruins everything.
Prepares the way
for me. I present

a completer picture.
I’ll paint you in–
if you’re passing.

Frylock

8

Surely time is passing,
And the past is a memory
Blinking like a flashlight
With a bad battery:
Shake it and bring that past,
Fully present, to the light.

Light the worn sofa in the parlor,
The waving green July corn,
Coffee bubbling and browning in the glass percolator,
The way late afternoon lies on the grass.

Surely these memories
Illuminate this present, and
Not without pleasure.
Surely this present
Is completer for their presence.
Turn on the light
And then, off again.

kayT

9

Around about they sit and natter
Of slights quite real and just illusion,
Of stuffed up heads, of aging joints,
Of notes they’ve tweeted, old delusion,

Of rising prices, stupid crimes,
Of shows revamped, of jokes thrice-told,
Of budget cuts, of babies teeth,
Of summers hot, winters too cold,

Of passing fads, of present fears,
Of a sin complete, of its completer,
Of grammar faults, of nits twice-picked,
Of songs off-key, of poems off-meter,

Of herbal cures, of science quotes,
Of politics, of old wives’ tales,
Of memes and themes and broken dreams,
Of dates gone wrong, of epic fails,

It seems so brittle to my mind,
This triteness that they keep on bringing,
The universe is ours and more:
How can they keep from singing?

Prof. Pepperwinkle

10

In summer, let my mind lie fallow -
Still the clock, the calendar’s precision.
Let the days be divided by plants in bloom
The hours by their shadows
The minutes by song.

Silence the city’s ceaseless chatter
Savour this passing present
Let the day job wait
This season of renewal is all too brief
Absurd. Deadlines call.
Ants must moil the summer to shiver through the winter.
I’m behind, and getting behinder.

Yet this ant suffers
from Grasshopper Envy.
What’s to savour in winter?
Let me pause
To make my life completer.

Le Ministre de l’au-delà

11

At present time I have a line
that follows no known meter.

Hard to define, I know it’s mine
by how it seems to teeter.

It’s passing sign wends like a vine
that doubles back completer.

No use to whine, this “tell” is fine
and won’t get any neater.

Becky2844

12

…and now the poll is open.

13

I’m gonna give this a little bump to say I’m glad so many people voted and I hope some of you will have some comments for the poets. Thanks! And thanks to Le Ministre for running this thing.

14

Let’s just say that if I were to write a poem critiquing my own poem, the word “Nantucket” would be needed to rhyme with the most apt words about how I feel about my entry.

I liked most every other poem except mine…but in my defense, this was my first attempt (and boy does it show!)

I think I will stick to the Short Story contests and leave the poerty to Bards who, unlike me, have a clue how to write poetry!

15

I still hate the word “completer” - but I like how most of our poets were able to incorporate it.

16

Hey DMark I would never have guessed that was your first attempt, if you mean your first poem? You did good, dude (or dudette?); don’t give up!

And yes, we all hated completer. So, where did these words come from?

17

Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you in suspense - we had quite a storm here yesterday, and I was a bit preoccupied.

The words came from the Penguin edition of the ‘Complete Poems’ of Walt Whitman - I opened it to a random page. Unlike the sort of thing I’ve done in times past, I took all the words from the same line, using the first noun, verb and adverb/adjective I found. The poem is called ‘Thoughts’, and it starts on page 501 in my edition - the words are from the first line on page 503.

The full line reads -

And so, although I find myself thinking ‘Is “completer” really a word? Well, I suppose it is now.’, I also found myself thinking ‘Should I reject a word that Whitman himself has coined?’ and off we went.

It could have been worse - if I’d grabbed my Milton instead, we might have had to deal with ‘yclept’ as the verb…

18

This makes it sound like that was quite a storm, Le Ministre. Glad you are ok and I hope you weren’t on one of those trains.

Interesting to know that Whitman is to blame for completer. At least yclept would have been entertaining and no one would have thought we had bad grammar.

19

My first thought was that, just like George W. Bush was the Decider, a great football quarterback would be the Completer.

20

My kids and I came through it just fine; the worst thing that happened to me was that I was trapped at the Palmerston Library for 45 minutes. Quel horreur!

It took my wife nearly 5 hours to get home from downtown, as the subway was shut down, there wasn’t a cab to be had, the underground PATH system was shut down sporadically by the power outages - she holed up and had supper and a beer, then very cleverly rented one of the Bixi bikes, only to find the return rack near our house was full. It was a long walk in the wet for her.