'plot line'/development of McDonalds commercials

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
21

Actually – I do believe you’ve hit upon a UL worthy of the SD – ‘The missing ingredient’

It’s akin to the 'thre word ending with ‘-gry’ (which has been beaten to death): in my school, at least, there was a persistent riddle “What ingredient is missing from the Big Mac jingle?” I tend to agree that all the ingredientswerepresent and accounted for. But that was simply no fun.

You’d hear the myth rear its ugly head from time to time. Someone at another table would suddenly yell “Pickles! My god, it’s the pickle!” followed by slaps echoing off the walls as students in seven grades hit themselves in the forehead and thought “Of course, why didn’t I think of that?”

Of course, a few moments later, we’d all realize that pickles (or whatever) were indeed in the jingle.

Maybe it was a (very) local phenomenon. One kid in my class kept it alive with his smug certainty that one was missing, and he knew what it was. I don’t recall him ever sharing that information, however.

As for salt and pepper - well, there’s a wealth of theologic references there: Lot, Ruth (ancient Hebrew version) and all the tales with spice caravans. But that’s hardly the point, is it?

22

As a minor aside, I was moving some furniture for my sister today, and as I hauled one particularly doorway-filling chair into a bedroom, she warned her dog off, fearing it would be scissored in yet another of those freak interior decorating tragedies.

“Back! Back!” she cried.

“Arg! Back, Back, ye mopheads!” I added automatically in a pirate voice. It occurred to me that this came from Captain Crook in the early McDs commercials – and that I’d been saying it automatically whenever someone said “Back! Back” for 30 years.

It also occurred to me that whenever I said it, I got very strange looks. Apparently it was nevera popular catchphrase.

Then again, I have a friend (a former Chorus/Drama geek) who bursts into ‘Turn back O man!’ (from Godspell) under very similar circumstances. So in my crowd, at least, my behavior provokes little notice.

23

OK, someone correct me if my memory is faulty, but wasn’t the Grimace “Evil” because he made shakes disappear, or something like that? I distinctly remember him as a shake-related character.

24

Yes, I also recall that Grimace was the shake thief. But does that make him ‘evil’? Surely it’s misdemeanor in the McD penal code - like fries, they are generally stolen by the sip, rather than in toto.

Further, while the denizens of the fry patch were clearly living in constant terror of abduction, the shakes seemed unaware of it. Indeed, while I can’t recall Ronald ever actually eating a fry on camera, I recall him ending commercials with a sip from a drink (Orange soda, for sure, possibly shakes) which would put them in the same category as the Hot Apple Pie (which he also ate on camera)

Grimace originally had six pouches (one for each hand) designed for storing shaked. My first reaction was to cringe at the idea of applying a semi-frozen shake directlyto my torso. Even placing one in my mouth could be a risky endavor, I always preferred to let it warm up a bit first).

I have it on good authority that the current Grimace is but an idiot nephew of the Evil Grimace, the original having retired on the royalties he earned for inventing the automobile cupholder.

25

Nobody’s yet mentioned those little mobile Chicken McNugget characters…I seem to remember they (at least in the beginning) always had to get rescued, too, but I dont remember who from. Also, Birdie’s original name wasnt “Breakfast Birdy,” it was “Birdie, the Early Bird,” and she was indeed the avatar of breakfast. As far as jingles goes, in the mid-to-late eighties they had that singing crescent moon (thankfully short-lived) who ripped off Bertholdt Brecht and sang about “Mac Tonight.” I dont remember exactly…was that because McDs started staying open really late?

the Scarlet Pimpernel
_/_
()/
|/|

26

Well, I hope that perhaps by time I will have some other silly things to reminess about other than current McDonalds comercials, because they are in quite a poor state these days.

It seems they try far too hard to make Ronald McDonald seem cool. . .but really, how is is red haired clown, in a yellow suit, to in any way achive coolness? I don’t care if you stick him on a skate board, he looses all the respectability he gains for thrashing by putting on that knee pad’s and helmets.

I know what you’re saying. . .“How can Ronald be updated for today’s youth” It’s rather simple, at least in my opinion. First things first, ditch the hair; even as a straight male, I have to say that Ronald would look hot with a shaved head. Next, Ronald should lose the shirt, as to better display the platnium chain; he should get “Thug Love” tatted across his stomach as well. Next, Ronald needs to quit haning with losers like Grimace. Grimace just sceams out dope-fiend, and honestly Ronald could do better. Birdy is also a difficulty, however, it can also be a positve for Ronald, if he takes up pimping as a passtime. Lastly, instead of all this goofy magic, Ronald should perhaps look into automatic weapons. It’s a sure bet that if Ronald put’s a cilp into the Hamburgler, no one will ever try and rob him again

CactusRome@aol.com

27

KARA:
Wow. considering that the introduction of the the McNugget in 1983, you’d think the McN characters would be memorable. ButI’m drawing a blank. Then again, if there’s one lesson in the McDL commercials it’s that they aren’t promotional tools, they’re showcases [“See your favorite McD foods in action” vs Make the McX product a household word.

All I recall about the McNugget campaign (for children and adults alike) is that it inspired distaste. For some reason, they made me avoid McNugs for years [Er - doesn’t ‘chicken nuggets’ have en entirely different meaning on the farm?]

Then, one day, I was with a friend and her kids, and I tried them… and found them amazingly tasty. What a marketing concept! Food that tastes good. Whod’a’thunk it?

And finally, re: “Mac tonight”… Despite being a major Bertoldt Brecht/Kurt Weil fan (both in German and English - there are some delightful cross language puns in there, like the way the article in ‘Das gute Mensch von Szechuan’ changes the meaning entirely) I have to say that the person I thought should sue was Jay Leno. Okay, he’s no singer, but I simply couldn’t see that moon without feeling sorry for the fact that there was no way he could get up in court and make the obvious argument “C’mon judgie-wudgie, everyone knows that’s ME! Can’t you see it?”

ROMEDOG:
I like your concept, but perhaps I’m just a little too uncool for childrens marketing. If you don’t mind, I’d like to make a slight modification:

Instead of ditching Grimace and Hamburglar, let’s just acknowledge that it’s the good guys who’ve fallen by the wayside in the false McDL (vide supra). I mean when was the last time anyone saw that lame narc Big Mac, or that establishment patsy McCheese – RMcD busted a cap in their lame asses a long time ago.

No, what we have now is clearly a criminal gang. Only the Bad survive (not knowing Birdie, I’ll give her the benefit of a doubt and deem her the House Bitch.

Rename the Drive-Thru (McD even spells like gangstas) to the Drive-BY (and who but inner city drug dealers sell their wares out a window?)

All hail the Ronald posse. When we come on yo’block, it be OUR block. We be dealin’ some dope "Happy Meals’ out da window wid a little something extra in every bag. Here’s a freebie, cuz we know da kiddies will be screaming ta come back soon.

[rapping - hope this formats properly]
If yo posse don’t got/no dope wheelz ta tool
We be da man. We be /dealin’ in da schoolz.

If you gots da loot/we sho’ got da goodz
Check our dope new suits/we be da Burger hoodz!

On the mornin’ PA/they be playing our dope pitch
Don’t whine to no PTA/The principal’s our bitch

Peace out. Pig out. Stroke out. Word!

28

KP
Member
KP posted 09-04-1999 12:07 PM

I understand the “needle in the groove” reference, but what’s with “23-skiddoo”?

KP posted 09-05-1999 12:05 PM

Gee, I think we sang that song in a school musical.

RomeDog- Did you use a different font on purpose, or is the BB just being strange?

29

You know, The (since I assume we’re all on a first name basis here), I’d been sure Cecil had covered this, but I guess I was wrong – at least it doesn’t appear in the search engine (and I’m too lazy to check further).

23-skiddoo (or skidoo) is an expression from the flapper era (1920’s) meaning ‘Get lost’ or ‘Shall we leave?’ (depending on your social stratum - though any social stratum that would still use this phrase can’t be too picky) Even though it’s associated with flappers, I’m given to understand it predates WWI, and was actually pretty dated by 1920. Perhaps cultural mores didn’t change as fast then or maybe it’s of like ‘groovy’, which was already uncool by the time people started using it widely [Why do I feel unhip and uncool every time I use those two words?] I included it as an example of a phrase that seems ridiculous now.

I’ve never seen a plausibe explanation for its origin but here is just one of the many pages that address the topic. I haven’t triedto track it down in five years, so maybe there’s something better on the Web now. Please come back and tell us if you find something.

30

[[JillGat - can you be convinced to intercede on our behalf for a ‘preview’ feature/button. I am firmly of the opinion that any Board or other display that permits formatting should allow previewing of how that format actually displays, before it is committed to stone. I realize that UBB is probaly a commercial package, but this is a fundamental design issue - maybe they have that feature already.]]

I’ve passed on your comment. Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner.
Jill

31

I always preferred the alternate “kid’s” version of the Burger King “Have It Your Way” song:

Shove the pickles,
Shove the lettuce,
Sit down, shut up,
Don’t upset us,
All we ever ask is that
you have it our way!
Have it ouuuur way, have it our way . . .

32

>in my school, at least, there was a >persistent riddle “What ingredient is >missing from the Big Mac jingle?” I tend
>to agree that all the ingredients were >present and accounted for. But that was >simply no fun.

Onions.

Onions of the tiny, re-hydrated variety. The same ones that USED to be included in the regular hamburger/cheeseburger, but which have recently been omitted.

Similarly, they’ve stopped toasting the buns; a measure which, I recall from my (thankfully-brief) employment there years ago, was intended to prevent the condiments from making the bun soggy.

Apparently that’s not a concern any more.

shrug

33

Uh… no, but thanks for playing

two all beef patties,
special sauce,
lettuce, cheese,
pickles, ONIONS,
on a sesame seed bun

Or as the McD corporate site officially
stated on the 30th anniversary of the Big Mac
“Twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedbun.”

But please don’t feel bad - as I said in my original article, I’ve fallen prey to that same error many times (it takes the sting out of it when 300 other kids fall for it at the same moment)

Due to the overwhelming positive response to the earlier audio, here are two (experimental??) versions of the current “Did somebody say MacDonalds?”: Jazzy and Contemporary

34

I’m very disturbed now. (Oh? Just now?) A few weeks ago I saw a new McDonald’s commercial in which the Hamburgler speaks regular English! Sacrilege! His head has also been redesigned to look cuter and less sinister. Yuck.

Before they clear it from the site, be sure to read the last “News In Brief” item from the Sept. 15th The Onion.

35

I always forget the cheese when I think of the “Two all-beef patties…” phrase, due to a joke I learned as a kid to which the punch-line is, “Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester pickin’ bunions on a Sesame Street bus.”

36

dfas, you beat me to the punch! I too recall the joke - recounting a school bus driver’s first day on the new route, along which she collected 2 obese Pattys, special Ross (must have been the short bus, if you know what I mean), Lester Sneeze, and Pickled Onions (so called because he ate them incessantly).

I also have some recollections about the McNuggets I’d like to share… Weren’t they once involved in some Dumbo-esque circus act involving jumping out of a burning building? I think the firemen were also McNuggets, and the jumpers fell through the nets into containers of sauce. Another time they were kidnapped and required rescue, but I don’t remember any details other than it was outdoors. Anyway, they always ended up in the sauce just before Ronald made the mystical Sign of the Arches to end the episode.

37

Sorry, dfahs, had I looked a little closer I’d have 1) noticed the complete spelling of your screen name, and 2) realized you posted almost a full day before me.

Also, a random question to the board - was there a link to Cecil having actually addressed this issue, or did I miss it because it’s not there?
“Please excuse my enthusiasm”

38

Sorry, when I started this thread, I used the “Respond to this week’s column” button - and it seemed redundant to tell everyone what “this week’s column” was.

But of course (sigh) time marches on. This is the column I was responding to, though of course, there was another McDonaldLand column years ago.

39

After reading this thread I felt

[ul][li]Nostalgic[/li][li]Then Forgetful[/li][li]Then Happy[/li][li]Then old[/ul][/li]
But now I feel sad

Sad that the things we enjoyed when we were kids this generation is considered to “Above and Hip” to enjoy. [or is it hep - I’m too old to be cool and I don’t care - That’s why I’m cool right?]

40

I was reviewing the thread today and noticed that a line or two were dropped, rendering my usually garbled posts even more meaningless.

What I meant to say was:
KARA:
Wow. Considering that the introduction of the the McNugget in 1983, made McD the number one vendor of chicken products in the world (by tons of chicken sold) you’d think the McN characters would be memorable. But I’m drawing a blank.