Whenever I hear the police on tv they use so many words to describe anything and use strange expressions such as " execute a u-turn, exit the vehicle " and until I was old enough to understand their jargon I thought " sexual interference " was her father turning on the porch light unexpectedly
I’m… intrigued…
Reported.
It looks like tomandjudy meant to post this as a reply in another thread, not start a new one.
I thought this was going to be about puppets beating each other. 
Welcome to the SDMB, tomandjudy. We ask that people use descriptive titles for their threads (you just entered your name again) and place them in the correct forum. If this is about cop shows on TV, it should go in Cafe Society – if it is just a random thought, this forum is fine. Or perhaps you meant this to be a reply to someone else.
In any case, I’m going to lock this thread while we sort this out – you can email or PM a moderator if you need more help.
twickster, MPSIMS (and Cafe Society) moderator
Reopened thread with descriptive title provided by the OP.
I’ve almost started this thread half a dozen times. But now I’m having a hard time coming up with examples.
It’s true that in the copiverse, there are no such things as cars. There are only vehicles.
They talk the way they’ve been taught to fill out reports. They don’t want to commit a 478, failure to fill out a report in cop lingo.
I don’t think I’ve ever entered premises in my life, but police seem to say stuff like “I entered the premises” on the TV.
I’ve done some ride-alongs with cops before, and one of the things mentioned to me is that they need to be very, very careful with terminology in case something they say ends up in court. “Restraining a suspect.” sounds a lot better and is more concise than “well, I had to shove him to get him off me so I could cuff him,” which would then open them up for questions about proper force, etc.
Long story short, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of this jargon just becomes their general way of speaking when around the public. If you guys want, I can ask a cop next time I see one here at work.
All professions use specialized jargon. One reason is because they need to communicate specific ideas with precision, while general-use terms are not quite correct or too ambiguous. Another reason is that jargon gives some exclusivity to the profession–it separates the insiders from the outsiders.
And vehicles don’t have drivers. They have operators.
And there are never any men or women. Only males and females. Apparently, cops are reluctant to assume that they are humans. They could be some kind of extraterrestrial humanoid that objected to being called “men” or “women.”
This is at least part of it. A big part of the job of law enforcement that rarely makes “Wildest Police Video” is professional witness. Use of professional jargon has a legitimate use in increasing precision, succinctness and accuracy in communication, and a byproduct of that is that the use of professional jargon adds credence to the image that the witness is a professional. Any old shmoe can walk up to a car, but the police officer approaches the vehicle.
A cop would say he “proceeded to approach” the vehicle.
… on foot.
A senior detective may have enough pull to approach the vehicle. A rookie would proceed to approach the vehicular conveyance via ambulation.
This. They are very good at testifying. They are trained witnesses. Which is why they can NEVER be trusted!!! 
Except when they’re “gentlemen”. I cringe every single time I hear an officer on the news describe a crime “Then I witnessed the gentleman punch the female several times…” and “The gentleman evaded police after striking three parked cars…” “The gentleman boofed the contents of his pockets before I could search him thoroughly…”
Really? Are those things a gentleman would do?
And that it’s “occupied three times”. What’s wrong with “three occupants”?
I don’t really consider it jargon per se. For the most part its regular English words in a bit more formal way. All the flowery language and creative writing is drained out. The only jargon (specific terminology defined by the activity) is usually confined to a few specific terms which are defined legally and are used for precision. I could hold an entire conversation with someone using Army jargon and acronyms and you wouldn’t understand a damn thing. Not so with coptalk. After all it comes from writing reports that may be seen by a jury. When testifying you want to be able to communicate to the jury, not translate for them.
As stated above it comes from a need for precision, succinctness and accuracy in communication. Its also because as you do it you come up with a formula for reports. We are not novelists that have to come up with a unique way of telling a story each time. In my head I have a formula such as:
On xxx I was dispatched to xxx on a report of xxx. Prior to my arrival headquarters informed me that xxx. Upon arrival I met xxx who stated xxx…
If I have to come up with a unique structure each time it would take me forever.
BTW police writing has ruined me as a creative writer. I used to be fairly good and once thought about attempting to write a book. At this time I’d have to rewire my brain.