Monday Morning Thread #6
In another thread the discussion turned to politically correct terms for races and PC terms in general. Over the past few years I’ve “collected” some PC terms that really made me laugh. For example:
He’s not short, he’s “Vertically Challenged”.
She’s not dead, she’s “Vital Sign Impared”.
He’s not stupie, he’s “Intellectually Imperfect”.
She’s not easy, she’s “Horizontally Accessible”.
Yours?
Too easy.
He’s not illiterate, he’s “Spelling Impaired” 
touche
He’s not ignorant, he’s “Spellcheck Deficient”. :o
He’s not a sexual predetor. He’s the President of the United States.
He/she’s not fat, they’re “Diameterially (sp?) Enhanced”
Har-Har-Har. Gee, one never gets tired of horny Clinton jokes. They’re all so original and well thought out. And well spelled, too.
What are all you ought-to-be-on-late-night-TV wags gonna do in a couple of weeks? I mean, Bush is squeaky clean, right?
Let me just note that none of the PC terms mentioned so far on this thread were ever used by anyone seriously. They were made up as parodies of PC talk.
He’s not bald, he’s combing impaired.
He’s not dead, he’s Past Imperfect.
Shell Shock -> Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (also Combat Neurosis).
Conservative -> Reactionary
Women -> Womyn
Janitor -> Sanitation Engineer
Psychopath -> Socially Misaligned
Anti-abortion -> Pro-life
Dog -> Canine Companion
Retarded -> Mentally Handicapped
And of course,
Rude -> Politically Incorrect
• - • - •
Also, any term involving the word “deficit”, such as:
Hyperactive -> Attention deficit impaired
In real estate, it is getting improper to use the following terms:
Family room
Master Bath
Master Bedroom
Nobody in the workplace has “problems” anymore; we all have “challenges” or “concerns” now. Sheesh.
You may have “challenges” or “concerns”, I have “issues” and “opportunities”!
AAARRRG: We have opportunities here as well. We also don’t make mistakes, we have learning experiences.
Sheesh, PC speech is just rebottled Orwellian “New Speak”. It is merely another thinly veiled attempt to limit free thought and not much else.
This one has reared its ugly little head recently.
Pet owner -> Animal guardian
Give me an effing break! I own my animals, period, that’s it, they’re mine. All of the frou-frou crap is really getting on my nerves. What a bunch of flaming namby pambies!
It gets worse.
Pet owner–>non-human animal companion caretaker.
I have seen people say that with a straight face.
honkey mo fo --> melanin-deficient.
I’m not sure whether or not that one is serious or joking.
I know a guy who, after an argument, will refer to people as having “a severe case of recto-cranial inversion”.
…I’m “Gravitationally Enhanced”
It helps me corner better when I’m walking.
My dad’s a trucker – he calls himself a “Material Relocation Technician”
how about dead = metabolically-challenged?
In some hospitals they actually use the term;
Negative Patient Outcome
Just say “they died” you blinking idiots.
I’m a fan of the Oakland Binocular-Vision-Impaired, Double-Y-Chromosome-Cursed Plunderers of Other People’s Property. I’m hoping they get to play the New York Spatially-Advantaged Individuals in the Super Bowl.
I’ve heard this one IRL: A person who pulls his or her utterly incompetent coworkers’ worthless bacon out of the fire, he or she is an workplace hero.
A place with lots of people for a soldier to kill is a target-rich environment.
I’ve actually heard people substitute “gifted” for “retarded.” Gifted as in “an extra capacity for love.” I’m expecting to see some six-year-old popping off integral calculus.
You know it’s PC when you can’t tell what the hell someone’s talking about.