Poll: For what crime(s) would you turn in a loved one?

espionage as a crime is generally understood to be spying for another country.

Somewhere between all-of-the-above and never. Depends on the loved one, circumstances, reward, etc etc etc…

Texan here. I voted - “I wish you’d asked me about ___” because the answer to even the most serious of the crimes listed would depend on the circumstances as to whether I would turn someone in or not. If I thought that innocent people would continue to be murdered then I probably would. I might also include treason and espionage. In general, I would rather try to help kith and kin through a tough spot than to turn stool pigeon:)

But I don’t believe I would ever turn in immediate family or lifelong friends.

Would the police be able to do anything or even be interested in some of the listed crimes? What would happen if I called the police and said “My cousin, Crazy Guggenheim, drove home drunk Saturday night”?

ETA: Just noticed this was a zombie. I guess polls don’t expire either…

This gets my vote!


Good a reason as any, I guess. Will have to cruise on up and make my choices now.

I went pretty much everything except the parking and various minors. The only bigger offenses where I doubt I would drop a dime on a loved one were DUI, blackmail and extortion. Don’t know what it says about me as an individual but there it is.

Oh, and in the category of I wish you had asked ----- I would probably drop a dime on anyone who decided to become a Resurrection Agent. :smiley:


The first three aren’t even things you can turn people in for. They pretty much have to be caught in the act. While I hate it when people drive drunk, alerting a cop that it already happened isn’t going to change anything, and warning them that a guy does it regularly won’t work.

As for the rest, I won’t turn in anyone for drug dealing of any kind in on its own. Weapon smuggling is why criminals have guns, so of course I turn that shit in. Minor tax evasion is, I assume, stuff the IRS would just audit you for and have you fixed, so I don’t think I can turn anyone in for that. The major stuff I would, because I’m tired of that “taxes are stealing” mindset and I have no tolerance for greed.

I guess I could have left out extortion, since I can see some versions that I consider moral. But I decided it’s mostly a horrible thing, and the few exceptions don’t count. Same with blackmail. Embezzling is always wrong, however.

I accidentally didn’t vote on the stealing stuff, but would do it for anything that was done more than once–as long as it is actual stealing, and not stuff like “taking too much of something offered for free.”

I’m just not sure about what minor fraud is, so I didn’t pick it, but went with major fraud. I skipped minor vandalism as I assumed stuff like spraypainting and stuff, and I can’t report what I enjoy looking at. Major vandalism gets it, though.

Everything down from there until kidnapping is violence, so it’s obviously reported. Kidnapping might arguably not be violent, but it’s still horrible. I can’t do “espionage” and “treason,” though, because they depend on a form of tribalism.

Minor assault can mean getting into a fight with a horrible person, and I can’t turn people in for that. Major assault I can, though. And of course I turn in any form of murder.

One thing you may note is that none of these are different for non-loved ones unless it’s someone who is horrible, and these are the only illegal things to pin on them. As I said, I reject tribalism. People who hurt other people are evil, and need to be stopped.

I would have included election tampering, witness bribery, gay bashing and animal abuse.

And I’m appalled that there are significant numbers of people who wouldn’t turn in someone for serious crimes like child rape or serial murders.

Well let me clarify my case. I don’t have any loved ones who could be capable of those things. If they did them, it would mean they were having a major brain malfunction or some similar crisis and I would make sure they got the help they needed, or some kind of isolation, rather than letting the police push them through the legal system into a hellish future of incarceration.

I wouldn’t even turn in a person I hated. I refuse to feed the for-profit criminal justice industry.

I would certainly turn in ANYONE for necromancy.

OK, I’ll just come over and steal everything in your house, and burn it down, knowing you’ll never even report the crime, lest the F-P CJI get me. Thanks!

And please leave the door unlocked, I don’t like to work too hard.

Yeah. And PM me your address, would you, jtur?

I would turn in anyone who had this attitude. It’s criminal.

This. I find it hard to imagine I would still love someone who was raping children, or whatever.

But I’ll go answer the poll re close relatives, because I think that’s what you actually meant.

Okay, okay, I’ll pretend that could happen, and I still love the person, and take a stab at the poll…

I see I’m in the minority who would turn in a relative for DUI. That seems like one of the easier ones. My relative probably wouldn’t be imprisoned, they’d likely just lose the right to drive. Which would be a good thing for all concerned.

I was more troubled about the (other) drug offenses, because those have been demonized and we just lock people up rather than try to treat them. I think I’d try a lot of private stuff before considering the law for a drug offense.

Crimes against persons are an automatic phone call.

Crimes against property don’t excite the same sense of outrage, but I would take a second look at that position if a family member was running a ponzie scheme financed by elderly folks’ life savings, for example.

Traffic crimes are minor. The police patrols can sort those out.

Crimes against country would be taken seriously, with a fairly low threshold needing to be crossed in order for me to make that call.

Fine. I have acquaintances that will make you wish the cops had been called. But they won’t bother you just for the hell of it, they won’t keep 10% of your bail money after your parents mortgage their house, they don’t get paid by the government to debate your high-priced lawyer, and you won’t wind up in a prison owned and run by a corporation listed on the stock exchange.

US here.

cocaine and heroin dealing, drugs and weapons smuggling, extortion, blackmail, arson, and all the variations on stealing, all the domestic violence charges, all the rape charges, basically all the violent crimes, espionage and treason and murder/serial murder.

Some of the crimes listed are, to me, just obviously wrong no matter the circumstances. Some, notably, murder and assault (and battery) for me are circumstance dependant, except serial murder. Espionage and treason, well heck what can I say, I love my country, if it is espionage against another country, yeah, I still would, just so I could clear my conscience and hand it off to someone better equipped to handle it.