Somebody DID say that. It’s a quote from earlier in the thread. Someone was answering someone else’s question about what constituted a homosexual experience.
Hmm, you’re right, I didn’t see that before. Though it was levdrakon, who is gay, and I’m pretty sure he was saying that “messing around” doesn’t make you yourself homosexual, not that it doesn’t count as a ‘homosexual experience’. I could be wrong though.
That’s exactly what I meant. Thanks.
Well, again, I wasn’t refuting anyone’s answers, I was simply offering a possible alternative explanation for the statistics coming out the way they were. (Alternative to “they’re lying”)
It seemed to me that given some of the statements, it was likely that at least some of the people in the thread weren’t counting “messing around”.
I do see what you’re saying, but based on pure conjecture, any explanation could be formed. The main thing I don’t see is what’s suspect about “the statistics coming out the way they were”.
I don’t see anything suspect in them–I wasn’t the one who expressed that opinion. I merely offered a possible explanation for any perceived incongruity for those who were seeing one.
Personally, I think the sample is both too small and not random enough to be statistically valid anyway.
I agree that this is too small a sample size to draw broad conclusions from, but the answers are interesting, and self-reported statistics are never all that reliable anyway. For one thing, answering the survey itself is voluntary, which can make it difficult to get a truly random sampling. For another, there’s no way to determine the veracity of the information given. Any statistics based on survey results should be taken with a grain of salt, especially when the subject is something like drug use or sex where there are social pressures to give a “correct” answer.
That said,
- Yes
- Female
- Bi-tending-towards-straight
I haven’t had the time to gather all the stats, but I have seen several answers such as the above, where a straight woman says that she has not yet had a sexual experience with another woman, but she is interested in doing so and would not say no under the right circumstances.
Basically, women appear to be quite nonchalant a about their desire to sleep with another woman, whether they are straight or not, and whether they have had a sexual experience with a women or not.
On average, I do not get this attitude from men.
I think that one of the factors (besides possible genetic differences in male/female sexuality) is the fact that woman/woman sexual experiences are not frowned upon anymore in modern culture, while man/man sexual experiences are still frowned upon, especially if the men are claiming to be straight.
However, I think that this recent acceptance of female homosexual experiences is affecting only the younger females. It’s possible that your grandmothers would be horrified to admit that they would have wanted to sleep with women when they were younger.
So:
a) I wish I had asked in the OP for people to provide their age as well, to see if there is a correlation between straight females nonchalantly admiting a desire for homosexual experiences, and age.
If it’s not too difficult, it would be great if all the straight and straight-ish females
that have replied so far, can come back and add the answer to question
- What is your age? (or age range)
b) If social acceptance results in women openly expressing an interest in having homosexual experiences, then I wonder: If there was social acceptance of male homosexual acts among straight men, would straight men who grew up in that environment be interested in sex with other men, and express it openly in as lighthearted manner as the straight women have done in this thread?
If the above is true, does that mean we are by nature designed to be attracted to both sexes (not equally, for straight people, but still present), and it is only due to social upbringing that most straight men today don’t even want to think about sex with another guy?
I’m 34.
No
Male
Straight
Over 60
Yes
Male
Bi
44
That said, I have to mention that health care professionals have learned to never ask men if they are gay, ask them (if this is important, obviously) if they have sex with other men. Men often get pissed off if you ask them if they are gay, but if you ask them if they have sex with other men, they’ll nonchalantly reply, “yeah, all the time.” I attribute this not to any homophobia, but rather to an unwillingness to be associated with gay culture since they consider it less manly. I would not be offended to be asked if I were gay by a health care professional, but I do understand these men. I have little knowledge of contemporary gay culture in spite of my numerous experiences years ago (still consider myself bi, though), and have little interest in the gay community. I consider my identity as a man to be much more important than my sexual orientation, which I consider to be trivial.
Lama Pacos did a good job of answering this in post #133, but to expand a bit:
I can see no reason why someone would bother to lie, on an anonymous message board, about something as mundane as sexual encounters, or lack thereof.
Also, the SDMB is not a place known for members with poor reading comprehension skills.
Yet, after a number of people answered “no”, some chose to call those people either liars or reading comprehension impaired. I suppose because the answer “no” didn’t suit their view of the world as they would like it to be.
So, yeah, I get defensive about being called either a liar or stupid.
First, it isn’t really an anonymous message board. Huge numbers of the members here meet each other in real life, and even more form pretty real friendships/other relationships with other members that extends far beyond “just some anonymous person”.
Second, I didn’t call you a liar or stupid. Yes, some other people questioned the statistics, and the accuracy of the answers, but I was not one of them. I merely suggested a possible reason, based on how some of the comments seemed to me, why it might seem that way. Actually, it would be more accurate to say I was defending you against accusations of lying–I was giving another possibility (and again, I never expressed an opinion one way or the other on the validity of the answers). So don’t accuse me of things I never said.
(I want to mention, for clarification, that the comments which made me think that it was possible that people were interpreting “encounter” differently… well I didn’t pay attention much to who said them, or what the people who said them gave as their answers, or any of that. Which is to say, I made no connection as to whether a person said “yes” or “no”, I simply noted that some of the comments made it seem like some of the people might be thinking of it differently. For all I know, the people who it seemed were considering it to be intercourse-only were the ones with the “yes” answers. I didn’t pay attention. It wasn’t relevant. It simply seemed to me that given how some people were phrasing things, that it was possible that they (and therefore possibly also others who didn’t comment on it at all) might have been thinking of it in that way.)
No
Female
Straight
35
I’m 23.
I was a No homosexual experiences, female, straight.
I am 28.
- 24
- 30
-
No, not according to the definition put forth by ambushed although I have had several makeout sessions with female friends where clothes were off. It wasn’t sexually naughty, it was just having fun. We’re a very friendly group.
-
Female
-
Straight
-
25