Poll: How Often Do You Encounter Rude People?

In My Humble Opinion
1

It just occurred to me, via the tipping thread and others, that there are a lot of reports of people being rude in public. Rude waiters, rude restaurant patrons, rude shoppers, rude customer service agents, rude people everywhere.

You know, I can’t recall that last egregiously rude thing I witnessed. The only thing that could come close is a lady talking on her cell phone during a movie, but she cut the conversation short so it was over before she could really get my blood boiling.

My one exception is on the road – I think every third vehicle I encounter is the epitome of rudeness with speeding and cutting people off and passing on the right, but I’m a defensive driver and willing to acknowledge they aren’t actually rude, I’m just overly sensitive about driving.

I don’t know if I just don’t get offended as easily, or if the people where I live are just nicer in public overall. I just don’t see very much rudeness on a regular basis. I can’t EVER recall having a rude waitress, not once in my entire life. And believe me, having a waiter comment on your weight, as mentioned in other threads, is the absolute height of rudeness as far as I’m concerned. I can’t recall a single customer service experience where I was treated rudely. I’ve just never actually witnessed behavior like that.

Personally, how often do you encounter this kind of behavior? Daily? Monthly? Do you live in an urban or rural area? Is there anything about your environment, circumstances or personality that you would attribute to your experiences with, and perception of rudeness?

Me, I think I encounter genuine, obvious, egregious rudeness maybe once a year if that, and it’s rarely of the sort I would remember. I live in a suburban area near a university campus. I think almost everyone I run into has decent manners, but I don’t really look for it either. I’m both laid back (as in, don’t care) AND a bit of a doormat (as in, do care but don’t want to cause a stir.)

Also, feel free to share anecdotes of rudeness you have encountered. The more egregious the better. I find it fascinating that people behave in public like this on a daily basis–even at work! :eek:

Thanks,
Christy

2

I don’t know if I could reliably calculate a rate of encounters because my sensitivity to rudeness varies so much. Like, sometimes I might perceive a coworker’s nosiness as innocently curious rather than rude, especially if I’m not the target. Or if I see someone do something gauche (like blow their nose out in the open), I might find it funny or pitiable, rather than something to be offended by.

But if I was going to record a whole week’s worth of human interactions and score every person I encountered based on their actions, on average I’d probably find two or three people that would be sufficiently rude as to make the list. These people would probably be those who are guilty of committing sins of personal boundaries (e.g., asking too many personal questions, offering unsolicited advice…just being overly familiar with me). I’m less aware of Emily Post-type offenses (you didn’t bring a hostess gift! OMG!!) And I don’t particularly care when people depart from basic “home-training”, as long as their unwashed hands don’t touch me.

3

Daily. Some of the patrons I have to wait on in a suburban public library are just the epitome of rudeness. And some of them seem to revel in being rude.

4

Not very often. It’s small-town and you know you will see the person again in three other contexts; that keeps you on your best behavior.

It’s been very good for me since I moved here from NYC.

5

I work in car rental and we have clear set rules about our policy on what a customer needs to bring with them before they can hire. Before I go on I have been told that I am over sensitive with certain things… Anyhoo on the phone the customer is told that they must bring their FULL driving licence (I even go on to clarify that they must bring the paper part of their licence as well as the photo card part), a proof of address (additional to the licence) which I then give examples such as utility bill, bank statement, council tax letter, etcand a credit or debit card for payment. Personally even before I worked in Hire Drive I would have expected to take such items. It is unbelievable how many people tell me that they were told NOT to bring the paper part of their licence. Every time I hear it my blood boils. Sometimes these people take it one step further and try to tell me that you no longer get a paper part. Genuine people are easy to spot but where I work people have such attitude. They demand the vehicle now and can get quite aggressive. I ve had a man throw a set of car keys at me (luckily his aim was off an he left a dent in the wall instead). I often wonder if these people would be happy to hand over a vehicle worth over £15,000 to someone who could not prove they had a licence or where they lived.

At uni people can be extremely rude. An example that stuck out for me was when I was sitting my exams. All bags must be left at the back of the hall. When I finished my exam I went to the back of the hall to get my bag where ot only did I find other heavy bags sitting on top of it there was also a footprint and a heel indent in the leather. There is no reason for bags to be placed on bags and even less of a reason for people to be walking on them. Its so disrespectful to treat other peoples property in such a manner.

At home (I live in a high rise building in the centre of town) the people thta live above me make noise at all hours of the day. They stand on the balcony and smoke and swear and generally just make a nuisence of themselves. UGH! There are also young groups of children how hang around the communal areas and shout abuse as you enter and exit the building.

I think I encounter at least one rude person a day. I think that younger people are becoming increasingly rude (Im only 22 and feel so old saying that!) and seeing as I am a student I am more prone to come across this type of behaviour.

I wish there was a way to make being rude against the law. Its not difficult to be nice and manners cost nothing!

6

I meet ignorant, inattentive or selfish people more often than I meet rude people. There is behavior that is rude, but I think you actually need to be aware of what is expected and ignore that in order to step into rude.

Never credit malice where you can credit stupidity.

Lucy’s thread on wedding invitations is a case in point. I suspect his daughter is not actually being rude - from this definition - though those invitations are a violation of etiquette. I think she is being ignorant (everyone else does it, it must be ok) and/or selfish (this will get me what I want).

7

I work with a guy who prides himself on his rudeness. Truly, I relish the days I work when he’s not scheduled because he’s guaranteed to go out of his way to be a rude asshole. On purpose. It really alters the ambiance of an otherwise pleasant place to work. I take solace in knowing that one day he’s going to be egregiously rude to the wrong person who will then give him an unforgettable lesson in polite manners. I hope someone videotapes it for me.

8

One of my many personal quotes is this regarding driving;

If you’re being passed on the Right,
YOU are in the wrong.

Being passed on the right isn’t rude of the person doing it, it’s rude of the person requiring others to do it.

Speeding? Also not really rude.

Cutting off? I’ve been followed, harassed and screamed at for “nearly running people off the road” when I waited until I could clearly see the other car in my rear view mirror before moving over, which implies several car lengths. Some people are exceptionally sensitive and downright insane when it comes to the horrific idea that other people might pass them. OTOH, When I finally get the chance to pass (almost always on the right) that slow moving road hog sitting in the left lane at 15mph below the speed limit, I will occasionally, based on how long I’ve been forced to sit behind them and how many suggestions to yield they’ve ignored - cut the fuck off the front end of their car. Fuck those people, they’re rude beyond measure to park in the left lane so far below the speed limit and refuse to move.

Only once myself, about 15 years ago. We were two of the four whole people in the restaurant and she chose to ignore us and be rude when we got angry about it. Unfortunately for her, when we got around to the front to pay, the owner of the place was sitting right there. Believe me, we told her what happened, and the waitress got completely stiffed on a tip.
Mostly it’s petty rudeness, of a sort which I’m sure I’m guilty of too, depending on your point to view.

I get really short tempered when I’m waiting at a register behind someone whose transaction is completed, but they’re taking their sweet fucking time packing up their purse or screwing around even though there is a line of people behind them. I’m sure they think I’m rude in saying something about it. But I’ve reached a point where when the cashier is trying to get me to hand my goods over the top of that person and deal with my cash around that person, I choose to stop and say “No thanks, I’ll wait until this person is done and I can step up to the counter” (followed by dark glare at offender). It’s amazing how often the other person gets pissy about it, but I’m not handing my credit card or cash over someone’s shoulder.

Another sort of that is worst at Christmas. Women who wait until the cashier has rung up their entire purchase and being told the amount before they suddenly act like they’ve just woken from a long coma and are shocked to be asked for money. Then they have to spend half a fucking day looking for their checkbook or credit card, take two minutes to sign their name and audit the receipt, then revert to staring off into space while we go back to situation 1, with the cashier trying to deal with me over the top of them.

You know you have to pay money. You know there are people in line behind you. WAKE THE FUCK UP AND BE READY FOR IT. Get that fucking purse out before they ask you. Bag up your shit and get the fuck out of here. Wake the fuck up and be at least slightly aware that you are not the only person in the world.
The bottom line is that people encounter petty rudeness all the time, but most of the time, it’s completely unintentional. People walk in front of you and stop, because they were in their own little world and didn’t see you. The choice about how offended you are and how much of a scene you make is yours. But you’d better believe that you do the same thing yourself, without realizing it.

9

I get a lot of people in our library who don’t have a lot in the way of manners or social skills, but I wouldn’t call all of them intentionally rude. We have the teens, tweens and smaller children who haven’t been taught most of the manners that would make me more comfortable with helping them out*, and the adults often don’t have all the nonverbal cues down either, like the “you stand on the other side of the desk from me” rule or the “don’t try to fondle strangers” rule. Some of this is cultural, some of the people we have come in are mentally handicapped, and some of them just don’t care. At this point, I’d rather assume that it’s a cultural issue or that they’re not smart enough to understand that they’re being rude rather than assume they know they’re acting like an asshole.

[sub]*Some of the things that annoy me, in list form: chewing with their mouth open, smacking their gum, interrupting me while I’m with another patron, getting huffy when I tell them that I’m helping someone else and it will be a few minutes, chewing on the temporary internet cards, picking their nose, picking at their crotch, taking drinks over to the computer, not using “miss” or “ma’am” when trying to get my attention, touching me to get my attention (including pulling at my clothes), not staying on their side of the counter, taking more than one coloring page, arguing with me when they know they’re doing something against the rules, lying to me about how old they are so they can use the computers that aren’t meant for them…[/sub]

10

There are cultural reasons for not knowing that you’re supposed to NOT fondle strangers? :confused:

11

Some of the new immigrants around here think that being touchy-feely with anyone you meet is okay. I’m an American, but raised in a Scandinavian culture-based household, so I don’t like to be touched by strangers at all unless I welcome it. My idea of “fondling strangers” may be a little different than actually fondling strangers, but, personally, I don’t like it when people grab my arm/ass*/touch me to get my attention, especially if they can see I’m already helping someone else.

[sub]*Yes, people have grabbed my ass while I was working and I didn’t know them at all. Yes, they did it on multiple occasions. No, I didn’t like it and told them as much.[/sub]

12

I see rudeness every day. Is it Pit worthy rudeness? No.

Pts and visitors can be (and are) very rude to staff. When I make my phone calls (to tell them the time of their scheduled surgery) I can get any type of response from “thank you so much” (which is not rude at all, it is the antithesis), to “why are you calling me?” after I have explained. The number of people who do NOT know they are scheduled for outpatient surgery (you know, the voluntary kind that you arrange with your doctor ahead of time and usually get pre-tested for) amazes me. (and to be fair, I have seen staff being rude to pts and visitors).

I see much rudeness in the grocery store-people just about knocking over children who are (it must be said) out of control and perhaps in need of a slight lesson because the people who spawned them are oblivious or worse, think their precious child needs no correction; people on cell phones talking about their gyne symptoms or how they got lucky- the bitch came across last night. Rude people in cars, playing their “music” so loud I can hear it over my music in my enclosed car. Rude people on the road, waiting in line (I was called a bitch, loudly at LensCrafters because I told an older man that I was next in line just a few weeks ago), at the movies, in restaurants.
I see much rudeness to wait staff and to retail clerks, but I also see CT techs getting irked by an out-pt on the phone and deliberately putting that person on hold unnecessarily. I see lots of miscommunications where no rudeness was intended, but much offense taken. There’s lots of rudeness out there.

13

I don’t seem to encounter people who are rude to me on a personal basis, but if you count generic rudeness against the world, I encounter inattentive drivers talking on cell phones once or twice a day. (I only count it as rude if they’re drifting around in and/or out of their lane). Also, a couple of days ago, I saw someone roll down their window, toss a used tissue out, and roll it back up. I think that’s rude.

14

I don’t actually encounter all that much rudeness in my day-to-day life. In Iowa, people are frequently oblivious to their surroundings but seldom intentionally rude unless provoked.

I work in technical support (international), so I’ll get the occasional jerk, but for the most part my challenging calls are dealing with people who don’t listen very well. When I get an actually rude person, it’s a noteworthy occurrence. I hate to generalize but it is almost always someone from New York or south Florida. However, my experience isn’t typical of technical support. We’re very easy to reach compared to 99% of the world’s technical support, so the emotion most people are feeling is pleasant surprise rather than frustration by the time I get them.

Even as a moderator, very very few of users who I deal with are rude to me, whether or in public or private, even when we disagree.

15

It happens and typically I try to ignore it if I can… Though last night I went to bingo with my mother (at her request) and holy moley. If you don’t call those numbers fast enough, if someone is being to loud (when they aren’t really being loud at all) or if there is some sort of technical difficultly with the computer system… holy shit stand back. The people that go there can get down right uppidee.

16

I didn’t write that post very clearly at all. I meant to say that I get little personal rudeness (mostly the people on the phone at work that I’m talking to are just anxious about their surgery)-the LensCrafter guy was rare.

But I do see rudeness almost every place I go (or it seems like it–I freely admit to confirmation bias here). Mostly I think it’s carelessness or thoughtlessness, not actual rudeness. Sorry if that wasn’t clear. :wink:

17

Everyday…

Profession: Teacher

18

Retail baby.

Every time I go to work.

19

Very rarely. My daughter, on the other hand, has an issue with a teacher in the school building where she works. The building is owned by the high school but two college classes are held there, and my daughter monitors those classes.

Every day at 4 p.m. one of the high school teachers makes a point of turning out the lights in the bathrooms and locking all but one of the doors, even though she knows that there will be college students coming in for classes later.

When my daughter asked her please not to lock the doors, the teacher responded that the students were supposed to use the door near the parking lot, not the other doors. My daughter explained that some students walk to school and would like to use the closest door. The teachers says “Well, they don’t need to use that door.”

So every day my daughter waits five minutes and unlocks all the doors, so the students don’t have to walk all around the building.

What a petty little power tripper! I think that qualifies as rude.

20

Every time I go to the grocery store. Doesn’t matter which one as it seems like the clientele all check whatever manners they have at the door on the way in. Not sure if this is just a large city phenom or a Houston one but either way it blows.

Each trip you will suffer from being run down by a cart(s), held up by a group that is intent on taking up the entire isle, suffer at the hands of someone who is clueless when it comes to personal space, or put up with other shopper’s kids that are running with wild abandon.