It’s like on Conan O’Brien. A couple of thuggy priests come around and rough you up. Then Jesus himself shows up and tells them to knock it off. The Jesus looks at you and says “You owe me.” Pause, to all present: “You ALL owe me!”
I try to go every Sunday, but I miss one here and there.
Sunday is also obligatory, so the same thing that happens if you don’t go Sunday. Mortal sin, son. Which means, don’t receive communion until you’ve attended confession.
(Trying to imagine her 70-ish priest roughing anyone up)
I do think the idea is good, though. Might up attendance. Is anyone else thinking of the Monty Python sketch, The Bishop? 
Missing Mass on Sunday or Holy Days without a grave reason is a mortal sin, yep. Easier in Canada, since there’s only two extra Holy Days.
The relevant section of the Cathechism is paragraph 2181:
Catholic.
Every weekend (Saturday afternoon or Sunday) plus on Good Friday and on Christmas (Eve) when it falls on a weekday. I might miss one weekend in a year for some vacation/logistical reason.
Roman Catholic
I try to go every Sunday, I genuinely enjoy going because I truly feel a deep personal connection with God during mass. Oh yeah, and the holy days of Easter and Christmas mass. Every now and then, I do miss mass, oh well
Never. My mom is a lapsed Catholic, but she lapsed long before I was born, and my dad’s family are a bunch of communist (hence atheist) Jews. I have been to exactly one religious event with my parents in my life - my grandfather’s funeral mass, fourteen years ago. When I was in college I connected more with my Jewish roots, and attended Hillel services and events fairly regularly, but in the intervening period I have pretty much stopped. The last time I was at shul was last year at Rosh Hashana, at one of Bulgaria’s two operating synagogues.
The last time I was in a church was a few years ago for my cousin’s wedding. Hubby and I are not churchgoers.
Using “church” extremely loosely, in the last ten years, I’ve been to:
- an atheist funeral (very beautiful too, I must say) at a crematorium chapel
- a funeral at a Roman Catholic church
- a wedding at an Anglican church
- a funeral at an Anglican church
- 3 Buddhist funerals at the same crematorium chapel
I’m an agnostic. I attend these things out of politeness/duty. On the other hand, I don’t make a point of remaining silent during prayer, etc. If it’s somebody else’s special day, it’s only decent to mouth along with the ritual, even if you think it’s mumbo jumbo, and pretty rude to make some sort of pointed stance at that time.