Oh, heavens, Octopus’s Garden and Don’t Pass Me By are Ringo’s attempts at getting some song-writing royalties - give the guy a break, willya? 
I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to come with a notably bad Beatles song until I got to this. The lyrics are offensive.
Offensive? They’d be offensive if we’re intended to sympathize with them, but I don’t get that impression at all. I think it’s a song that’s intentionally written from the POV of a bastard. I actually really like it, not just for the chilling words, but combining it so effectively with music that provides a creepy sense of impending disaster. I always picture a woman driving down a dark highway at night, trying to escape, turning on her radio and hearing a song left for her by this jealous fucker of a boyfriend.
Aw, Octopus’s Garden is a goofy, sweet kid’s song. And I think Ringo’s voice, weak though it certainly is, works well for the few songs he used it on. With a Little Help from My Friends wouldn’t be nearly as charming with the stronger pipes of John, Paul, or even George (though the latter might’ve been an interesting version).
I think “Octopus’s Garden” is lovely. It has some of the best guitar work on any Beatles recording, for one thing. The opening guitar lick is just sublime.
I don’t know, I’m not that into later Beatles stuff (Sgt. Pepper and onwards), and it seems like the later songs that I do like are despised by some of the real fans. “You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)”, for example. I can’t understand why it is dismissed by so many people. It’s a good tune, it’s funny, and it’s strangely hypnotic. I could listen to it all day.
For worst track, I would probably pick one of the many dreadful indulgences on the white album, or “Flying”, or “Blue Jay Way”. In fact I think about 75% of George’s Beatles songs are clunkers. But not “Here Comes the Sun”, which has no place on the list however the OP arrived at it.
Christmas Time is Here Again.
Yeah–add me to this group. Plus, the kid’s a fucking coward (she leaves a note and sneaks out at 5:00 am? To prove she’s all growed up? And the note says “Dear mummy and daddy–you sacrificed everything for me…but I’m not haaaving fuuuun. Wahhh.” :rolleyes: ) The huge horrible thing that makes the kid sneak out like a cockroach in the dead of night in the way that will most deeply hurt her parents is because they don’t provide is…“fun”.
I always hoped that the little twat, after being sold into prostitution by the man in the motor trade went on a date with Maxwell Edison.
:smack: I voted for “Honey Pie” thinking I was voting for “Wild Honey Pie.” I really do believe “Wild Honey Pie” is the worst piece of crap ever released by the Beatles, but the White Album has a lot of self-indulgent crap on it. I suspect a lot of other voters made the same mistake.
I didn’t much care for “She’s Leaving Home,” but I wouldn’t say I hated it. I didn’t actually start liking the song until I heard it at the proper speed for the first time when I finally got to hear the mono version.
For more than twenty years, I always skipped over “Revolution No. 9,” as I considered it pretentious tripe. Somehow or other, the durn thing grew on me, and now it’s one of my favorite pieces on the album. (Yes, I’m aware it’s a sound collage, not a song.)
(Though I was tempted to say Mean Mr Mustard, just to tweak the OP a bit.)
:D:D:D
I’m going to watch that when I get home. I have all the Christmas records, taped from WBCN and now safely on CD. That version of Christmas Time is Here Again is great fun. But they went downhill as the Beatles got further apart. I think the last one has a songlike object sung by John and Yoko, and if that one counted it would outstink anything mentioned here by several orders of magnitude.
I voted for You Know My Name but in reality I should have said “Ballad of John and Yoko”. To this day I don’t see how this song got to #1. I was 9 when that thing was released and I don’t recall the world being so starved for Beatles material, that this trainwreck of a song was
so well received and revered. I wish I could gouge it off my Beatles #1’s CD.
I don’t really like the Beatles that much. Certainly not their later stuff.
Maybe the “girl” who left home was Polythene Pam 
Question for any Brits in the thread: What exactly is the “motor trade”? A car dealer? A bus/truck driver?
Brit here:
“car dealer” - possibly “used cars” which might imply some shadiness, not sure where the implication that she was sold into prositution came from in previous posts. I assume thats some kind of er…joke.
I suspect it was half joke, half recognition that all too often, runaways end up in prostitution, with the men they meet as their pimps, so let’s not be too quick to romanticize the situation.
other-- number nine, number nine, number nine
they did so many amazing songs, i can’t complain about any of the others. some were silly. so’s monty python. Let It Be.
i remember that when the album came out, some people suggested that “meeting a man in the motor trade” meant she was having an abortion. people tried to read things into everything once the rumours about Paul being dead and replaced by a look-alike started.
To paraphrase David Cross: I’d rather hear the death rattle of my first born son than listen to “Yellow Submarine”. That song with its symplistic melody and lyrics drive me up the wall (and yes, I know it was meant as a children’s song, but that’s not an excuse for creating such a loathesome tune).
[del]Seriously, how can you have a list this long without the unlistenable dreck that is Revolution 9?[/del]
That’s what I get for not reading the OP. Please ignore me.
Since we can’t vote for “Revolution 9,” my vote has to go to “I Me Mine.” Total Dreck. (And for the record, I love “Honey Pie.”)
Other: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.
This song has annoyed me for years.