When I was in college, I was dealing with a number of personal and professional crises, and a friend said something that struck a chord. If you rate every day of your life on a scale of 1 to 10, you’ll have some 1’s and some 10’s and lots of others in between. Over the long run, these will probably average around 5 or 6. He posed this question: Would you trade in all your 10’s to eliminate the 1’s? Would you want to spend your life at 5? This is similar to the amusement park analogy in the movie Parenthood. Do you prefer the roller coaster or the merry-go-round?
I’ll take the extremes to avoid the tedium. Overall, things are better than worse, so I vote for joy. Pain eventually passes if you want it to…
Good stuff: I’m 36, and got to enjoy all 4 grandparents for quite a while. My immediate family is disease-free, so barring any accidents, they will remain with me for awhile. I have 2 wonderful cats. None of my monthly bills are in arrears.
Bad stuff: I’m 36, and will be getting laid off this summer. I have experienced love once, only to have it vaporize before my very eyes. Probably will never have children, and my cats will live for 20 years only if I’m very lucky. And getting off to a very slow start here on the boards. I’m nobody’s virtual anything, to the best of my knowledge.
All in all, though, it’s been a hell of good ride so far. I really can’t complain.
[hijack]
I love the Internet. I’m at work…but wanted to get my 2 cents in…and have this quote (below) on my home 'puter. (All the descriptions of “joy, peppered with pain” obviously made me think of this.) And, g’bless Google, was able to find it.
[/hijack]
Although life is seasoned
with bitter dragon tears,
seasoning is just a spice
within our brew of years.
Bad times are only rice,
tears are one more flavor,
that gives us sustenance
sometimes we can savor.
I don’t know if I would characterize my life as “filled with joy,” but I would say that I go about my life with joyfulness. Not fakehypercheeriness, but with the attitude that I deserve a full and interesting life, with extremes of joy and pain.
Some people find this mildly irritating.
Other people assume that I have not experienced pain. :mad:
Joy… and pain, Sunshine…[yes yes] and pain
Give me one more time…
Joy…and Pain, Sunshine… and pain, give it to me Rob Base.
Sorry. Its just too tricky to rock a rhyme thats right on time
My life, Aint nothing but a G Thang baby, but maybe after I go back to CALI, cali, cali [I dont think so], Ill be the real slim shady living in a gangsters paradise with Ice ICe Baby talking about sex with salt-n-pepa, you know, my babys got back.
Word to your mutha,
[Insert name of washed up rap act here]
[hijack] Hey, activgurl, slow isn’t bad. You’re here, arentcha? That makes you a Doper. (It isn’t an exclusive country club, but the members are a hoot.) Most of us aren’t virtual anythings.
That part of your post just sounded a little sad. I hope you stick around and give us a chance; there’s plenty of room for whatever style posting you’re comfortable with.
I had a wonderful childhood… I have a mother and father who have NEVER had a serious fight much less contemplated divorce, they loved me. I have 2 older sisters that loved me, taught me to be caring and compasionate. From them I have gotten 2 great brother in laws and 6 AMAZING neices and nephews that are absolutly wonderful and that I love and that love me. What have I talked about so far? LOVE! My life has been full of love!
And pain.
Since gradeschool all I have known is pain… a chubby child… tormented and ashamed. A non-athletic boy…couldnt fit in. A self esteem smashed. A Junior high PE game of basketball… why did the coach make me skins and not shirts? A life in highschool in rebellion and anger, a lust for everything Satan, a continuation of torment from demons. A graduation from High School, a realization that I would never graduate from College… a dropping out in my senior year, a Biology degree never realized. A joy of God, a pain when that feeling faided. A pain of knowing i’ve never been loved outside family. A joy of thinking someone did, a realization knowing it never was. A smack in the face of alcoholism… a shirking of responsibility. A wondering of why I cant stop. A wonder of how it WILL stop. A knowing of uselessness.
A lot of both. I’ve had some bad times, and I’ve had times that make those times look like a party.
On the other hand, I’ve got a group of friends who love me because I’m Robin and a husband who’s truly wonderful and the opportunity to finish college in a field I love. I’ve also been fortunate enough to learn to use the pain to grow from it and become a better person.
Oh, God of dust and rainbows,
Help us see
That without dust
The rainbow would not be.
My life has been mostly rainbows (and sunshine!) but I’ve had my share of major dust clouds too. But the pain only makes the joy that much sweeter. I’ll take a little of both.
The good:[ul]
[li]I’m very happy with my job. I’m pursuing a path that’s right for me and I’ve been successful at it so far.[/li][li]I’m financially secure. As a matter of fact, I’m about to pay off my truck a year early. No outstanding debts beyond that, besdies the pool and my house.[/li][li]I’m very close to my family, including, parents, sister, grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins.[/li][li]I have my share of close friends who care about me.[/li][li]I get to sing with a very talent choral group.[/li][li]I live in a great part of the country for hiking and camping.[/li][/ul]
The bad:[ul]
[li]I live so damn far away from my family (who, as I said before, I’m very close to). That, and they’re so spread out so I really don’t get to see them too much. I’ve vowed this year to get back to Georgia, Chicago, and Indiana more often than I have in previous years. The past few years, I’ve been only getting back to GA for Christmas, and Chicago/IN for weddings and funerals (then again, would it kill people to come visit me sometime? Sheesh!). Not only do I miss seeing them but I’m out of the loop.[/li][li]Loneliness. I have no SO right now (although I did break someone’s heart the other night – heh). This could be a good or bad thing. My mamma said you can’t hurry love. No you just have to wait. She said love don’t come easy; it’s a game of give-and-take. I think my main gripe here is that the vast majority of my other friends are hooked up, so it’s not as easy to just call someone up and say, “Hey, wanna come over?” or “Hey, wanna go play pool?” or anything like that. Generally I just see friends in large groups with the main activity being beer drinking. Weekends tend to be pretty boring. I’m dealing with this by putting more effort into my hiking club, remembering my friends who are single, and taking more opportunities to spend time with the ones who are married or attached. I just wish I could be more spontaneous with people.[/li][/ul]Well, there’s my baggage.
As much as I wrote about the bad, I think that “the bad” are things I can resolve with changes in habits and attitude, and so far I think I’m going in the right direction with it. Overall I’d have to say the joy outweighs the pain, especially when I consider how many people have no joy in their lives.
I’d definitely say my life is filled with joy. I’m happy because I make my own happiness. Even when I’m sad or I see others suffering, I look at it as an opportunity to learn, see if I can help others, and then move on. I love and accept myself for who I am, and I try–don’t always succeed–to love and accept others.
