I’m not insulted as I’m not poly amorous. But you asked what you might need to apologize for, and since a couple self identified polyamorous folks showed up, who you implied were not appealing and orgres right fom the get go, but you’d love if they’d give you insight into their deepest feelings, maybe a quick ‘I’m sorry’ wouldn’t be a bad idea, no?
Sorry for using the word ogre. I meant, not typically attractive.
I’m not sure that IvoryTowerDenizen was personally insulted. But, as stated upthread, you poisoned the well.
So how is that fair to those secondary partners? What if they have stronger feelings than being a second to your first?
I don’t know if I’m typically attractive. What does that have to do with anything?
Then my guess is they choose not to participate or break it off, like any relationship where one person isn’t as into the other.
The issue is people like yourself. If three fully consenting adults like living in a non-traditional relationship, why do you have such a problem with this? Do you talk about same-sex couples this way?
Again, I am sorry. That was harsh. It was the first thing that came to mind, and it was a hyperbole. The same could be said for myself, so it wasn’t necessarily a pot shot.
I am genuinely interested in trying to understand why one would chose to be polyamorous or the secondary to a polyamorous couple. Is it fetishistic? Is it always sexual?
You mean compared to articles featuring cis relationships (is that a term?), where everyone is gorgeous?
You asked why poly people were ugly, which is quite a blunt question. Several of us pointed out attractive poly people, discrediting your assumption. You then went on to ask how poly marriages function. You may have done better to open with that less insulting question. You’ve have gotten more answers.
What happens when children are involved? And no, I have no problem with SS couples? Do you? Why would you equate polyamourism with homosexuality?
Many nontraditional relationships often get scorn and derision, and despite its increased acceptance, SS couples are still not traditional as well.
First of all, only one allegedly polyamorous guy was pointed out who is attractive. The other examples are just the word of others. But that is all inconsequential. If physical attractiveness and testing the waters isn’t the point of polyamourism, then what is?
homosexuality is pretty darn traditional. It’s only derided as not being traditional in so called “conservative” circles. They are stuck in a fantasy era that never really existed.
Bazinga, you got me.
Trust me. This level of more widespread acceptance is a fairly recent phenomenon. I know too many SS couples who would disagree with the idea they’re considered traditional by the bulk of society. They’ve lived the scorn and derision that is still plenty prevalent. But we’re moving the right way.
It’s still the answer to your question though.
Try to think of people as individuals capable of making their own choices and expressing their own opinions and you’ll have a much easier time here.
Your questions keep presupposing there’s a single answer. The truth is much larger than that.
How is it fair? Because people communicate what they want and need.
Sometimes people DO find they can’t handle their position in a relationship. This can end in big angry fights, but doesn’t have to. Sometimes it means negotiating a different space in a relationship, sometimes it means the relationship has to end.
You meant polyamogreous? I’m sure a mod could fix that for you.
A friend of mine wrote what I think is a great short story, Escape From Burning Man, that begins with a bewildered and infuriated middle-aged protagonist thinking a young beau’s statement that “I’m into poly-am” was about “some new emo band” and flipping out at Burning Man when she finds out it means “you like to fuck anything and everything under the sun all at once and everyone around you is supposed to be okay with it”.
I now cannot read the term “poly-am” without thinking “hey, a new emo band” 
They let middle-aged folks into Burning Man? Who knew? 
Because my argument for supporting both is the same. It is their opinion of their relationship that is important, not yours. If Alice is in love with both Bob and Charlie and they with her, and all three are happy with the unusual relationship, why on Earth would I begrudge them that?