Polycarp’s a fucking liar.

[badchad]

Ok, so here’s the scoop for those who think the 21 plus pages http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=226859&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 are too many to read through.

In this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...40&pagenumber=1 in which the topic was the recognition of the second coming of Jesus, Poly quite clearly stated that he thought the second coming was here now:

And any evangelical today can tell you exactly what’s going to happen – just like any devout Jew could back then. Nobody expected the Incarnation, the Crucifixion, and the Resurrection. Nobody expected an itinerant rabbi who taught in parables, and who redefined the law as radical love of God and compassionate lovingkindness towards all human beings.

IMHO, He will make Himself known fairly soon, and in a way that nobody, including me, expects. Those who believe in Him will recognize Him from His teachings – but a lot of those who claim the Christian faith will reject Him because He will contradict the dogma they hold more precious than following Him.

I have a very strong hunch that I do in fact know his identity – and his surname is already a household word. If I am correct, he is fairly short, a very handsome young man with dusky blonde hair and beautiful-but-insightful blue-green eyes, slightly disabled by a chronic heart-valve problem, in his late teens today. He will probably be accompanied by a companion since childhood, a dark-haired young man whose heart is given to him.

And His teachings will shock the evangelical community.

After several people inquiring about Polycarps sanity, a few mentioned that they thought he was kidding and Poly replied as follows indicating that he was indeed talking about Jesus:

It was not a whoosh.

Nor was I speaking of family, friends, or acquaintances, nor of dogs (though I don’t ever recall mentioning to Knowed Out or publicly that my favorite dogs are retrievers – a mysterious concidence! ).

There is also a bit of jumping to conclusions going on here.

I made a three-part statement, with varying degrees of certitude on my part.

1. Christ’s promise to return is not something mystical, nor the sending of the Holy Spirit, nor any of the other “What He really meant was…” speculations.

2. I think it highly probable that His return, in history, will be in a manner that matches what Skammer said – something completely unexpected that will in hindsight match the prophecies, but in ways not expected.

The reason I think this is that any observant Jew can today give you a detailed explanation of why Jesus did not meet the quite specific conclusions drawn from Tanakh as to what the Messiah would be and do. Yet every Christian sees in him the fulfillment of Messianic prophecy – but in ways no Jew of the time expected.

Today we have a similar situation to the First Century – hegemony under a conquering ruler, widespread disbelief with a humanist ethic, believers in God who emphasize legalism over lovingkindness and compassion, expecting the same sort of miraculous Messianic intervention into history as did the Jews of that time. And just as the son of the carpenter became an itinerant rabbi and ended up being executed for preaching a truth that challenged the religious-political establishment – well, le plus ce change, le plus c’est la meme chose.

3. I have a hunch that I know the identity of the person who will fulfill the role in our time. It results from some things I read on his no-longer-extant website, conclusions as to his identity from what he did and did not say, and a couple of convictions which my wife or I have had as to what will be the result of his acting as he implied he would.

Of course true to Polycarp’s speed he after making things clear that it is Jesus he is talking about he throws in some double talk in the same post as the above:

I did not claim that this person is the Second Coming – only that my hunch, my speculation was that he’d be the person to fill that role.

Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean.

As the thread goes on he wavers more from his earlier statements to the point where dalovingdj takes notice and calls him on it with this post:

dalovindj
You state that it is your opinion that the person you are speaking of is ‘Him’. Now, from my past experience I’m led to believe you must be referring to your god (God) when you use a capital letter at the begining of the word ‘him’. So it is natural to assume that God is the subject when you say that you ‘have a strong hunch you know his identity’. One could conclude that you suspect Adam to be God in a human form. But when you get to the ‘I have a hunch that I do in fact know his identity’ you use the lowercase ‘him’. This capitalization stuff can get confusing.

You have now said:
quote:

I’d rather not attach a proper noun (“saint,” “savior,” “reformer,” “agitator”) to him.

This looks like it has a different meaning than your original statements. Tell me if I am getting it wrong:

1. You expressed that you suspect a certain person is “Him”.

2. When you say ‘Him’ you mean God.

3. You, therefore, suspect a certain person is God.

All of this seems clear to me from your post. However, now you do not want to attach a proper noun to (lowercase) him. From this I can only come to a certain number of reasonable conclusions:

1. You have changed your mind. In the initial posting you think you know someone who may be God. Now, you just think you have found someone who will become religiously important. If this is the case, what changed your mind? What did you see before that you don’t see now?

2. When you said ‘Him’ initially, you weren’t talking about God. This would seem to conflict with your standard usage. I would be surprised if this is what you meant.

3. You think of this person as being God in the sense that we are all God. An “If God is everything than we are all God!” type of sentiment. In this case the fact that the kid is God isn’t really significant. We’re all God. I’m God, you’re God. All 7 or 8 Billion of us and the stars and the Earth too. I also doubt that this is what you meant, and I don’t recall you subscribing to the idea of the Universe as God.

4. You never thought the kid was God (Him) incarnate and just phrased it the way you did to generate attention. I really hope this isn’t the case.

5. You haven’t changed your mind at all, rather you are just trying to rephrase it in a way that is less shocking and gives you some wiggle room.

Could you help out a bit here? Does there not seem to be a contradiction? Is it because you changed your mind (fine if you did)? Have I missed something? Am I misreading your use of the word ‘Him’? Thanks.

DaLovin’ Dj

Personally I thought this was a great post and pretty much covered all the bases. Polycarp replied as such:

Polycarp
DJ, actually, none of the above, with just a hint of #4.

I expect him to fill a role, and believe that God intended that (whether or not he’s aware of it). That role will have the kind of significant impact that the historical analogs I’ve given, including Jesus, did. Precisely what that role might be, I don’t know.

So here Polycarp confesses being a bit pregnant by choosing #4 and backs his statement down further from the teen sodomizing Jesus (did I mention Polycarp indicated the second coming liked sodomy?) filling the role of Jesus to just filling some role, while admitting he was a fucking liar by picking option #4, or should I just say a “hint of” a fucking liar.

At this point I’m not quite sure whether Poly really thinks the kid was Jesus and is just trying to look a little less ridiculous now (I estimate this most probable) or whether he never really thought the kid was Jesus but said so to gain attention (I estimate this somewhat less probable) but it doesn’t really matter. Whichever way you cut it Polycarp is a fucking liar.

A tip for you in the future Polycarp. If you intend to deceive, do it verbally, cause this written stuff leaves too clear a trail.

Have a nice day.

[Helen_s_Eidolon]

Wow, starting a pit thread spawned from another pit thread you yourself started, both directed at the same person.

You set a new standard for assholishness.

[Michael_Ellis]

badchad’s a fucking one-trick pony.

[Early_Out]

*Originally posted by Michael Ellis *
**badchad’s a fucking one-trick pony. **

True, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s wrong.

[Helen_s_Eidolon]

*Originally posted by Early Out *
**True, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s wrong. **

No, but the fact that he’s wrong makes him wrong. Come on, there’s a huge fucking difference between different levels of elaboration of his views and “fucking lying”.

[vanilla]

This is SOunlike chad, pitting Poly.

Hey! You never lethimanswer your first OP?
about his forgetting his pills.
But then, you must KNOW he takes pills to have forgotten one eh?
Or are you a "fucking"liar?
thank you for clearing this up.

[Squink]

IANABS (biblical scholar), however didn’t Jesus spend the first 28 or so years of his life as pretty much a regular guy, and then get called by God to take up his ministry? For all we know, the Big Guy in the Sky has got 20 or 30 such proto-jesus’ running around on earth right now, and all He’s got to do is press the button on one of them.
At this point in time it wouldn’t be proper to call any of them the “second coming.”

[Squink]

IANABS (biblical scholar), however didn’t Jesus spend the first 28 or so years of his life as pretty much a regular guy, and then get called by God to take up his ministry? For all we know, the Big Guy in the Sky has got 20 or 30 such proto-jesus’ running around on earth right now, and all He’s got to do is press the button on one of them.
At this point in time it wouldn’t be proper to call any of them the “second coming.”

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

Oh, God – I just had a vision of a field full of badger-headed proto-Jesuses, bouncing up and down…

JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS

SATAN! SATAN!

[Ilsa_Lund]

Dude, you are SERIOUSLY FUCKING DENSE, aren’t you?

[Mr.Blue_Sky]

*Originally posted by Squink *
proto-jesus

BAND NAME!

[vanilla]

even his dents are dense!

[IWLN]

Badchad Here I was just wondering where you were and poof. Kinda like black magic. I missed you. We have to have balance in this world. Even God needed the Devil.:eek:

Even though on some fascinating level I really enjoy you, I would have to pick Polycarp as the winner of this conflict. He had the biggest audience ever here. He was not always believed, but most always liked. He got to spend as much time as he wanted airing his personal religious beliefs and is so good that most of the time people forgot they didn’t believe that one story, that started this whole thing. It was a win-win situation for him and he thrived. Sorry Badchad, I guess the good side triumphed again.

[Airman_Doors_USAF]

Jesus Christ, dude, haven’t you had enough yet?

DNFTT.

[badchad]

IWLN:

Even though on some fascinating level I really enjoy you, I would have to pick Polycarp as the winner of this conflict. He had the biggest audience ever here. He was not always believed, but most always liked. He got to spend as much time as he wanted airing his personal religious beliefs and is so good that most of the time people forgot they didn’t believe that one story, that started this whole thing. It was a win-win situation for him and he thrived. Sorry Badchad, I guess the good side triumphed again.

A tip for you IWLN. Reason isn’t a popularity contest and as I pointed out Poly is in fact a liar.

If I wanted popularity, I’d change my name to goodchad and tell you all how Jesus loves you and allows you to do anything you want.

[Darkhold]

Though I thought a summation of that endless thread would be nice I didn’t want one with and editorial. We’ve all reached our various concusions about Poly we should let it rest like that until there is some reason to air it all again.

What are your goals here? Discredit him? His supporters and detractors all chimed in already. Get him to leave the board? Not likely.

This is waayy beyond redundant. Time to move on.

[Kat]

Badchad, even if you someday are able to find some quote from Polycarp proving that he has managed to contradict himself on some small detail, no one’s going to listen to you long enough to make it stick, because you’re an obsessive raving psycho.

[vanilla]

*Originally posted by badchad *
**IWLN:
A tip for you IWLN. Reason isn’t a popularity contest and as I pointed out Poly is in fact a liar.

**

Pitting isn’t an assholery contest and you’ve won!

[AncientHumanoid]

*Originally posted by Airman Doors, USAF *
**Jesus Christ, dude, haven’t you had enough yet?

**

Aw, shit!

You mean Badchad is Jesus?!

That’s it. I quit.

Badchad, is your sole reason for being here to argue with and accuse Polycarp? Get a clue!

[galen_ubal]

To the tune of O Little Town of Bethlehem

*Oh, little tab of wastepaper,
Why can’t you let it lie?
O chad so bad I would be glad,
To see you go bye-bye.

But in the Dope so turgid,
this everlasting fight,
the hamsters pant due to your rants,
Please stop before they die!*

Man, nobody cares about your opinion, anymore.