OK, now I think we’re getting down to the root of the matter. For the record, I never “converted” to Christianity. By my church’s standards, the only time during which I wasn’t a Christian was the handful of weeks before I was baptized as an infant. If you want to apply American, Fundamentalist standards, I vaguely remember accepting Christ as my Saviour at about 6 years old, although I’ve no idea how valid that was. I’ve certainly been not only attending but actively participating in the Episcopal Church since I was 11 years old if not younger. As far as I know, I was not depressed at the time.
Badchad, I was not even aware of the southern, Fundamentalist, Biblical-literalist form of Christianity you appear to advocate as the only acceptable form of Christianity until I was in college. I’ve never found it appealing; to me, it appears to reject thought and logic in favor of “God or my preacher said so”. I’ve never been “born again” in the sense of finding Jesus and, when the experience which was closest to that happened I was a Sunday School teacher. As an adult, I’ve attended two Fundamentalist-style church services run by a former Baptist minister.
I said this once on a Christian message board and wasn’t believed, but I’ll give it another try. My experience of Christianity is heavily colored by my having been born in England and by growing up in America’s northeast. I had as much experience with Fundamentalist Christianity as I did with the Church of Latter Day Saints – little or none. In many ways, it’s as foreign a faith to me as Islam. What I’ve seen of the way Fundamentalists present themselves has given me few reasons to embrace their form of Christianity and their beliefs, and it’s given me a great many reasons to reject it.
On the other hand, the Episcopal Church has fulfilled spiritual and physical needs (they’ve given me money) at times when I needed them to badly. I have had experiences which do not easily fit into a strictly logical framework, and religion supplies needs which atheism does not. By the way, on the subject of exercise, I have two points. One, it’s no more a sure cure for depression than, well, religion, or simply trying to cheer up. Two, while I don’t belong to a gym because that costs money I don’t have, as a matter of fact I do exercise by walking and fencing. The latter, among other things, provides a marvelous outlet for aggression.
If I’d grown up in America’s south or some other place where Fundamentalism is prevalent, I freely admit there’s a chance I could have wound up a Fundamentalist Christian, although given my nature and my family, there’s a far greater chance I would have wound up an Atheist.
I see you as telling me an Atheist or a strict, Biblical-literalist Christian. I can see the virtues of Atheism, actually – my father is an agnostic or soft Atheist – but Fundamentalist Christianity is completely unappealing. I may be a fool; I’ve certainly done extremely foolish things which I believed to be morally right, and reserve the right to do so again. Those may be the only models of religion which you knew; they are not the models I knew and I’m not above attempting to create a new model if the old ones don’t fit. If some call me illogical or a hypocrite for doing so, so be it.
CJ