Ladies and gentlemen of the Dope-jury, I present to you my theory regarding the OP’s true identity:
He is a pledge.
He clearly doesn’t have the maturity to be an adult adviser to anything.
He clearly has no real-world experience dealing with insurance or legal issues, or large amounts of money, or large hierarchical organizations such as the administration of the university or even his own frat’s national headquarters; otherwise he would know that you can’t just cover up something like this.
My guess is that he’s 18 years old, and one of the pledging challenges he was assigned is to think up a scenario that, if it happened to the rival frat house across the street, would be the greatest prank of all time.
(And by the way, his objection to the term “frat” is because it rhymes too easily with a certain word which the rest of the campus uses to refer to these dubious gentlemen : “frat-rat” )
As someone who lives in Dallas, I have messed with Texas on many an occasion. And wow, I was even willing to give you some leeway if you were on the coast or someplace where Shiner wasn’t as commonplace as mosquitoes, but… really?
That’s like people in Mexico treating Corona like a fine delicacy.
I’m not saying the beer is bad, but if you gave me a list of “Omega sea diver watches, an Exeter background, and Shiner Bock,” I could pretty much tell you which one didn’t belong.
This is where we disagree. I was positive the supposed FRAT house is in Florida (or possibly West Virgina).
But Texas? Texas! ::clap, clap, clap, clap:: Texas. Well then, the story must be true; & where are your two other accomplices or are you the “One Stooge”? :rolleyes:
I don’t think that the frat stereotypes have much regional specificity. I was just referring to Texas’s general reputation for uncouth, self-aggrandizing shallow religiosity, douchiness, and buffoonery.
That list of characteristics is like watching a train wreck. It’s full of rich-kid classism and “undesirables”? Poor kids? Kids with the wrong haircut or clothes? Liberal arts students? Kids with the wrong parents? Public school kids? Racial minorities?
I get the impression [del]Niedermeyer[/del] Nickel Please wants us to think he’s an Omega, not a Delta. Except he blew it with the swimming pool in the frat house thing. I love the secrecy thing. I guess they’ll be sneaking the new joists in during the dead of night.
The week and a half spent “praying” should be a hint. Baylor? SMU? TCU? Any other candidates? Do any of those universities have a drinking ban? I’m sort of thinking Baylor might, but then again, frat traditions might outweigh university/God’s rules.
I guess the fireworks will start when the school newspaper cranks up for the new semester. There’s probably going to be some student or 3 on the staff that thinks [del]Marmelarde[/del] Nickel Please and his fellow frat rats are snobbish jerks and they’ve been waiting for this opportunity to let the Omegas have it.
Nickel Please, do you realize that this will not look good on your permanent record?
