Poor Little Lambs Who Have Lost Their Tails. Rectum-Related. (!!)

From the AP:

Mary had a little lamb
Its tail was bobbed too close
And everywhere that little lamb went
Those behind it shouted, “Gross!!”

Yeah, it’s a lot more common than one might expect. In fact, not only do they slip out of place, sometimes they fall off altogether.

Occasionally, you’ll see these packages for sale as a gift. I picked one up for my wife once, but I guess she didn’t appreciate it. She opened it up, and exclaimed…

“Ewe ass!”

“Deer, would ewe be a lamb and shove my butt back in?”

Ugh!

Bah! Ram! Ewe suck!

Ohhhh, mairzy doats and dozy doats but liddle lamz lose rectums
A kiddle lose rectums too, wouldn’t you?

Rectum? Damned near killed’m!

I’ll just close the door quietly as I leave, yes?

“I swear to God it’s not what it looks like! I’m just pushing its rectum back into place!”

Where does the rectum go, when it slips out of place? I’m picturing a little pink butthole popping out, and rolling under the couch.

Like Satan’s own Lifesavers candies!

Was there an appeals process, or were the lambs DQ’ed in two shakes of a lamb’s tail?

Gaw ram, that was ewe full!

Not only could cutting lambs’ tails too short cause their rectums to slip out of place, it makes more difficult for the animal to defend it self from barnyard flies & Nebraskan teenaged males.

This made me laugh so hard I nearly peed my pants.

Lambs rectums…it’s what’s for dinner!

“The other pink meat!”

It just kind of… hangs there, at the end of however many inches of lower intestine might have made the trip along with it.

Gives a whole new twist to the Little Bo Peep nursery rhyme’s last lines - “Leave them alone, and they’ll come home / Wagging their tails behind them.” That’s not their tails! :eek:

HAAHaaHaaaaaa
First real belly laugh in days. :smiley:
Thanks very much. That’s some funny stuff.

“Yeah, it’s a lot more common than one might expect. In fact, not only do they slip out of place, sometimes they fall off…altogether.”

{everyone in unison} Sometimes They Fall Off

<snrk>…Was someone watching AMC yesterday afternoon? :slight_smile:

'Cause I know I was…

No, heavy rotation on my TiVo…

“*Like Satan’s own Lifesavers candies!” * - yeah, I peed too.