St. Peter at the gates of Heaven: “You fetched!”
Blondi: “But I vas just following orders!”
No, no, lying down with sheep is the Alabama heaven.
Except that when you ask God for a cite, He always has one.
Snowboarding.
Learn to use his/her lips ------ and aim different? Hey! Bodily fluids are bodily fluids! 
Alternative response ------ continue to practice law.
There are no lawyers in Heaven.
I imagine there must be some overlapping between certain heavens and hells. So leech heaven might be someone else’s hell … like Wil Wheaton’s.
Suck!
Sorry the pope is wrong. Those damn Canadian geese are the spawn of hell, and will surely return from whence they came.
It’s okay! They won’t poop in Heaven.
Simple- the good leeches will be put in a locked room with all the bad people! This way, it’s Heaven for the leeches and hell for the people!
Will Rogers would have approved of the Pope.
I can’t remember the exact quote, but Rogers was famous for saying that if there were no dogs in heaven, he wanted to go where they went.
As is probably glaringly obvious from my moniker, I’m with Will and the Pope. Heaven can go to the dogs.
Spiders? not so much.
Pope not reading scriptures again:
[QUOTE=Isaiah 66:22-24]
22 “As the new heavens and the new earth that I make will endure before me,” declares the Lord, “so will your name and descendants endure. 23 From one New Moon to another and from one Sabbath to another, all mankind will come and bow down before me,” says the Lord. 24 “And they will go out and look on the dead bodies of those who rebelled against me; the worms that eat them will not die, the fire that burns them will not be quenched, and they will be loathsome to all mankind.”
[/QUOTE]
and
[QUOTE=Mark 9:47-48]
47 And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, 48 where
“‘the worms that eat them do not die,
and the fire is not quenched.’
[/QUOTE]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worm:
The term worm /ˈwɜrm/ is used in everyday language to describe many different distantly related animals that typically have a long cylindrical tube-like body and no legs.
Bolds mine
Please pray for this man 
What of Bobbit worms?
Sounds to me like you get to pick your hell. At least if you choose to burn, you know you didn’t sell yourself out. That’s Pride, isn’t it. 
Wells, yes, but Eternity is very, very, long.
Then where do the roaches stay when they go on vacation? Surely there are no non-roach hotels in cockroach heaven!
Dead, rotting cows.
I’m in a quandary, being a meat eater, will I get to enjoy my hamburgers in heaven? Not sure how the cattle situation will be dealt with and one will obtain ingredients without sacrificing a cow. Someone said there will be no eating in heaven, if so, that doesn’t sound like a place I would want to be.
John Wesley was convinced his beloved horse would be with him in heaven, no word on how his horse felt about being rode to eternity with Wesley on his back.
Regardless, if the Pope said it, and that all animals can go to heaven, it has to be true, it’s not like theologians just makes this stuff up, right? I guess God will judge who are the good and bad dogs; the good and bad mosquitoes; tapeworms and other parasites, and they too can make it to heaven if they live a righteous life. It’s only fair.
Now, have a hamburger will be like receiving communion.