Pope says all animals go to Heaven

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

This is the kind of story that royally pisses me off because it hits two of my three pet peeves: Religion and pets. (Pun intended)

The dipshit of a pope comes up with this most likely because kids (the victims of religion) are becoming more aware and smelling bullshit much earlier than they used to. By the time they’re 18 and out of the house, less are going to the weekly fashion show of sheep (aka mass).

So now here comes Naziberger with this crap. He knows it’ll fly, because who the hell has read a bible anyway? The guy in the dress MUST know more about it. Now the fence sitters can think, hey, not really sure if this god is good for anything, but I might see Sparky, or Fluffy or my puppy WikiLeaks for all eternity? Well… think I’ve got some quarters for that offertory plate. :rolleyes:

Just from Genesis, we learn that 600 year old Noah lands his shit-ark on Mt. Ararat on his 601st birthday when the waters recede. God doesn’t talk to Noah until what happens…??? That’s right, until Noah sacrifices the bull. (Funny already, because there wouldn’t be any cows left if the bull sperm leaves the planet.)

Ironically, this is the only thing I’ve ever liked about the evil-fiction beast named Yahweh: He hates animals. Always wants a sacrifice. I still find one of the most peculiar things about humans is the crazy love they have for keeping an animal in the home. No one will ever convince me that paying for a little whining, barking, meow-ing shit factory should share my home and bring me “companionship” and “loyalty” and whatever else. Granted, I certainly don’t think we should test shampoos and cigarettes on animals. That’s cruel and unnecessary. But if there’s a cure for cancer that we need to sacrifice 10,000 puppies with to see if it works, line 'em up and get going on that research!

Naziberger is THE MOST successful catholic shithead of steering away the real meaning of religion (power, murder & money) and bringing in the puppies. Woof woof, bark bark, yap yap, go to hell, Il Papa.

62

That’s a parody, right? You do know who the current Pope is?

63

Ahhhh, I meant Pope Fancy Francis. Forgot to correct that.

Go to hell, Francis. :smiley:

64

This is precisely why some really hardcore fundamentalists will insist that heaven is only for people who have been saved…animals are not included, since they are incapable of declaring Christ as their savior.

As a former Catholic, the Pope’s announcement did make me smile…it also made me think about the priest at my university’s Catholic outreach/church, who adopted rescued greyhounds and would often allow them to stay in the church during a service. :slight_smile:

It’s not nearly enough to convince me to haul myself back into a church though.

65

I’m pretty sure that you aren’t supposed to tell the Pope to go to hell.
:dubious:

66

Why? Him and everyone on the planet has the same chance of going to Narnia or Hogwarts via yellow submarine! Those places won’t have your dead pets to play with but there’s a Talking Lion in one and really, really cool owls in the other. :slight_smile:
And sorry about the Beatle’s earwig I may have just started. :smiley:

67

That alone is enough to send you to Hades.
:rolleyes:

68

Feel-good theology.

69

Well, the story sounded too good to be true:

There’s no evidence that Pope Francis said any such thing. Moreover, the anecdote sounds suspiciously like a story told about Pope Paul VI decades ago.

Wow. Who knew non-stories could spread so rapidly? Wait… pretty much ALL of us!

70

the reason for this announcement is that vat meat (In vitro meat) will now feed the carnivores.