Inspired by the Monty Python NS thread, I figured I’d start one inspired by the Portal series
any and all quotes welcome, be they from GlaDOS, any of the Personality Cores, turrets, the Companion Cube, Wheately, Cave Johnson or Caroline
There’s far too many to single out one particular favorite, some of my favorites though…
GlaDOS;
I mean, have I LIED to you…I mean in this room…
Neurotoxin… [cough] [cough] So deadly… [cough] Choking… [laughter] I’m kidding! When I said deadly neurotoxin, the ‘deadly’ was in massive sarcasm quotes, I could take a bath in the stuff, put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it’s not deadly at all. To me, You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness a lot less funny.
This next test involves turrets. You remember them, right? They’re the pale spherical things that are full of bullets. Oh wait. That’s you in five seconds. Good luck.
Cave Johnson;
Greetings, friend. I’m Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. And you’ve most likely used one of the many products we invented. But that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt–
There’s a thousand tests performed every day here in our enrichment spheres. I can’t personally oversee every one of them, so these pre-recorded messages’ll cover any questions you might have, and respond to any incidents that may occur in the course of your science adventure. Your test assignment will vary, depending on the manner in which you have bent the world to your will.
Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor. Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I’ve got some good news and some bad news…
Bad news is we’re postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we’ve got a much better test for you: Fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You’ll know when the test starts.
If you’ve cut yourself at all in the course of these tests, you might have noticed that your blood is pure gasoline. That’s normal. We’ve been shooting you with an invisible laser that’s supposed to turn blood into gasoline, so all that means is, it’s working.
Just a heads up: We’re gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I’ll be honest, we’re throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it’ll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we’ll cut out.
Wheatley;
Holmes versus Moriarty…Aristotle versus Mashy-spike-plate!
And of course all the Personality Cores in Portal 2 are brilliant, especially the Fact Sphere
Here’s a good link with quotes and sound clips