Other possibilities:
[ul]
[li]Lucas films Luke and Leia’s conception in vivid detail. Anakin moans, “You’re not like sand, baby. You’re not like sand at all.” The scene is followed by an elaborate CG sequence of the sperm impregnating the egg.[/li][li]Return of the Jedi is retroactively edited to change the dialogue: “What was your mother like? Your real mother?” “She was very beautiful… and very wooden.”[/li][li]Because of the wild success of the political stories in Eps I & II, Lucas decides to set Ep III after the Clone Wars have already ended, and instead detail the intrigue of setting up the Imperial bureaucracy and arranging financing for the Death Star.[/li][li]Ep III begins with the text scroll “All the Jedis were killed during the Clone Wars. Anakin and Amidala have twin babies, then Anakin turned evil and became Darth Vader. Stay tuned for Episode IV: A New Hope!” This is followed by 90 minutes of Lucas sitting at a desk, counting his money.[/li][/ul]
Lucas will screw it up by making it.
The man is a has-been who’s been going downhill following his first freak success with the first Star Wars movie.
He can’t write, he doesn’t know how to cast, or control casting, and his ideas of nobility come someplace in the neighborhood of a macrobiotic bar in Marin country that has never read a history book (except one about Marin). He’s living off the creativity of Industrial Light and Magic, a special effects company with which he has marginal connection.
His “culture” is a vestige of very high-income, 1960s, wannabe, culturally self-important nerds living in a self-satisfied community some miles distant from San Francisco and Silicon Valley, where human beings are actually making artistic statements that will endure a decade.
I trust I’ve expressed my disappointment. I REALLY liked the first movie.
As long as they’re careful to put the death star off to the side, so they
won’t trod upon it.
Although, maybe Heston would make a good Yoda…instead of “away put your
weapon, I mean you no harm!” they could have him standing on the sand
looking at a broken lightsaber…He looks around surveying the remains of
the jedi order, fall to his knees, and cries, “You maniacs! You blew them
all up! Damn you! DAMN you all to HELLLLLL!!”
