I have been stuck with some form of pleurisy, bronchitis, consumption, whatever for well over a week. My nose and throat are full of some copiously produced and somewhat-fluid phlegm/mucus, which comes up through somewhat-productive (and frequent) coughing and/or horking it up (pleasant no? I’ve had my office door closed for ten days).
Now I guess I could get a cup or something and spit the thus-hawked-up phlegm out. But, that’s gross and I just can’t be bothered. So I just sort of swallow it. A friend has been scolding me this whole time that when I cough/hork some of that stuff up, I need to spit it out or “it will just stay there/come back up again.” Which is what my mother told me years ago. But . . . really? I thought when I swallowed it would go to my stomach, do not pass go, do not stay in throat/nose, right?
No, no, NO! On no account keep that nasty stuff in your body! You’ve got to hork it out on the sidewalk or into a public restroom sink before it can fester inside and grow into something even Stephen King couldn’t imagine!
At least, that’s what a fair number of my fellow presumed humans seem to think.
Phlegm is good for you. It has protein.
Seriously (?) swallowing it will do you no harm, and those around you will be grateful, sort of.
*Well Doctor, I have the usual: cough, stuffy nose, mild body ache, general malaise, you know. Also, I have a stomach-ache and very loose stools.
Arkcon, are you swallowing your phlegm?
Yes, and lot of it.
Yeah, Arkcon, don’t do that, that’s why you have mild GI distress. Spit it out and get rid of it.
*
That was the actual dialog between the Doctor and me. Humans tend to produce some extra mucus and swallow it all the time. But swallowing large amounts of phlegm will cause stomach ache, and loose stools.
Mucus and phlegm are made of protein (actually a watery gel that contains glycoproteins), but they’re not nutritional. Mucus lines your stomach and GI tract, and you can’t digest it. Don’t worry 'tho – bacteria in your gut can, so if you swallow lots, be prepared for bad smelly gas – another confusing symptom of mine that the doctor predicted perfectly.